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  • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

    Originally posted by Vocaltoad View Post
    how does this make you any different from Joseph Kony?
    Oh stop, you'll make me blush! I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think I'm quite good enough to be compared to a brave man like Kony.
    1 Corinthians 14:34 Shut up and get back in the kitchen!

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    • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

      Originally posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
      Praise Jesus, count me in!

      I'l tell you what, I'll make it an even thousand sight unseen! If you have an open couple of hours this weekend, we can get a Pastor to make it official!

      I really do miss the touch of a True Christian™ wife, it's been far too long.
      How wonderful! My husband accepts!

      You'll all, of course, be invited to the wedding!
      1 Corinthians 14:34 Shut up and get back in the kitchen!

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      • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

        Originally posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
        Glory! Another Landover wedding! I'd like to volunteer my home for the reception/honeymoon. I know Brother Portway would like to begin working on starting a family right away.
        How kind of you to volunteer! All our thanks.
        1 Corinthians 14:34 Shut up and get back in the kitchen!

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        • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
          Oh PRAISE JESUS!

          Do you need someone to bake a cake? I don't mean to brag, but the Holy Spirit guides my hand to make cakes that serve as a reminder that a marriage is a covenant between three parties - the groom, the bride, and the LORD.

          Thank you for offering! I'd bake the cake myself, but I'll be far to busy sewing my daughter's dress. I could definitely use your help.
          1 Corinthians 14:34 Shut up and get back in the kitchen!

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          • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

            Well, I'm about to burst with excitement! I just got back from being formally introduced to my future wife!

            I say formally introduced because I do remember her from when the 8th grade class from Leviticus Middle School had their field trip/tour of Landover Field last November. Her soon-to-be childbearing hips caught my attention even then.

            She is just a dream! She'll make a wonderful wife and mother to my future children.

            I can't wait for our wedding (and wedding night )! I talked to the Professor and we will be using his home for a brief reception and the honeymoon!
            sigpic


            Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



            God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



            Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

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            • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

              Originally posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
              Well, I'm about to burst with excitement! I just got back from being formally introduced to my future wife!

              I say formally introduced because I do remember her from when the 8th grade class from Leviticus Middle School had their field trip/tour of Landover Field last November. Her soon-to-be childbearing hips caught my attention even then.

              She is just a dream! She'll make a wonderful wife and mother to my future children.

              I can't wait for our wedding (and wedding night )! I talked to the Professor and we will be using his home for a brief reception and the honeymoon!

              what the fuck dud you are a dame pervertthat is all just wrong, first off you have no right to sell someone like a slave, second off your what 40 and she is 14 just so sick i could vomit you are all just fucked up you say wiccans and all othere religions are but you people are the worst
              Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

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              • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                Originally posted by tyler the earthworshiper View Post



                what the piffle dud you are a dame pervertthat is all just wrong, first off you have no right to sell someone like a slave, second off your what 40 and she is 14 just so sick i could vomit you are all just piffleed up you say wiccans and all othere religions are but you people are the worst
                What are you talking about? He's offering a dowry. That's not only kind, but traditional as well. Besides, what difference does age make? For all we know, Mary was about 13 or 14 when the Holy Spirit impregnated her. It was normal back then because people lived to serve God. Today people live to serve their own lusts. I would be honored for my daughters to have such True Christian™ husbands as Brother Captain Portway.
                Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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                • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                  Originally posted by tyler the earthworshiper View Post



                  what the piffle dud you are a dame pervertthat is all just wrong, first off you have no right to sell someone like a slave, second off your what 40 and she is 14 just so sick i could vomit you are all just piffleed up you say wiccans and all othere religions are but you people are the worst
                  Friend, your lack of respect is only dwarfed by your total ignorance. Brother Portway has the blessing of the parents of the young lady. He is not violating any laws. But just to reassure you, I will let you know that in all True Christian™ marriages where the bride is under the age of sixteen, the marriage license is filed in New Hampshire. Iowa unfortunately has a rather high legal marriage age of sixteen for both men and young ladies.

                  New Hampshire has marriage laws that are more in line with the Word of God, in that the lower limit for the age of young ladies is thirteen as long as there is consent of the parents of the minor female.
                  Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                  sigpic

                  Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                  Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

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                  • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                    Originally posted by tyler the earthworm View Post



                    what the piffle dude you are a dame pervert that is all just wrong, first off you have no right to sell someone like a slave, second off your what 40 and she is 14 just so sick i could vomit you are all just piffleed up you say wiccans and all othere religions are but you people are the worst
                    its like i am surrounded by Joseph Konys. if the police find out about this you will all be arrested. and put in the insane asylum.

                    I totally agree dude! if i had the money i would adopt her and make her go to school. at least i would save her from a living hell!! shouldnt she be in school?! THIS IS AMERICA NOT PAKISTAN!!! WHAT THE PIFFLE IS WRONG WITH YOU RETARDS!! DID U RIDE THE SHORT BUS WHEN U WERE KIDS??? its against the law for you to have a child married to a OLD PEDOPHILE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR DEFECTED BRAINS?!!

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                    • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                      This is getting weird.

                      Do you really believe it is okay to sell a person?

                      ThinksDesign xx
                      I whore for Satan

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                      • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                        of course its not okay to sell a person. she is a woman who deserves to choose her husband of her own free will. god i just wish i could save her from the hell her parents have arranged for her. this is just horrible.

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                        • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                          Yeah I've never seen anyone as devoted to the bible as these guys.

                          Their twisting Gods love.

                          ThinksDesign
                          I whore for Satan

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                          • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                            Trying to educate the unsaved is so very difficult. As I stated above, Brother Portway is not breaking any laws at all. On the contrary, he is following both secular and Biblical law to the letter.

                            And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.

                            If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.

                            Exodus 22:16-17
                            In this case, both of the parents approve of the coming nuptials, even though according to the Bible, her father is the only one with standing in the matter.

                            Why is it so difficult for non Christians to see that this is a happy occasion? I assume that like most atheists, you lead lives filled with so much anger and pain that seeing even the tiniest amount of joy in the lives of others drives you into a mindless, jealous rage. I pity you and will pray that the Lord fills you with His love. Amen.
                            Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                            sigpic

                            Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                            Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

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                            • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                              This is sicking and I just gonna say that I'm sending this link to the police. Why because I don't believe it's voluntary. On top of that it's against american law to sell american people. You can twist and say it's what god wants but I can a fucking sure you god will not approve you of this. You fuck head parents are no longer human, and there for you will go hell for payment. And if you fucking dare complete this transaction, I will personalty hunt you down.

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                              • Re: Is Anyone Willing to Purchase my Daughter?

                                Sure thing Brillowax; Interpol has bigger fish to fry. You think it's against American law but not against Pakistani law? That's a bit of a standard double.
                                Come climb my mountains.

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