[Jedediah]

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

First of all, thank you for all the messages left on my voicemail and in my inbox expressing concern over why my family and I were not in attendance at services this past Sunday. We're in Florida, and we'll be here until at least Wednesday. We attended services here, and I have already emailed photographic evidence of our attendance and a signed statement on church letterhead from one of the pastors down here to the church office.

My father-in-law passed away unexpectedly Friday morning, and we piled into the van and booked it to Boca Raton to perform an emergency resurrection, as commanded by Jesus.

Matthew 10:7-8
And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand.
Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

This was my first attempt at raising the dead, and I have no reason to suspect that Hal is anywhere other than pressed firmly against the gentle bosom of our Savior. However, my wife was distraught at not having been able to say goodbye, and I figured it would be a good opportunity to show my boys what a true man of God is capable of - just to drive home the point I made last spring when I regenerated two of young Isaiah's severed fingers through the power of prayer following his unfortunate mishap with the boat.

Matthew 17:20
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

By the time we got here, Hal's body had already been embalmed and was in cold storage. While my wife and three youngest sons distracted the staff, I snuck into the morgue with Isaiah and Leviticus following closely behind. We found his drawer, pulled it out, prayed for the LORD's succor, layed our hands on him, and cried out in unision:
"I command you, in the name of , to come to life NOW!"

Nothing.

So I picked Hal up into my arms, and I just began to command life. And I just began to love on Hal. I began to speak over him:
" , send forth the life-giving Spirit in Hal, and bring life into back into this body."
I just began to pray over him, like that. Not a command - I had compassion in my heart.

And for a moment, I heard air whooshing into his nostrils and saw his chest heave. My sons saw it too. And again ... Then nothing.

We went on for another several minutes before an orderly walked in on us and had us escorted from the hospital. Such persecution is to be expected in these End Times, so we called it a night and went down to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and rested up for church services the following morning.

So while I am personally disappointed at not being able to perform a miraculous resurrection to impress my sons, we are at least assured of Hal's place at Jesus' side. Thinking back on why it didn't work, it's probably because he was already embalmed by the time we got there. It's not as if I've never worked miracles before, so I know it's not me.

Has anyone else tried to put Matthew 10:8 into practice? How did it go? I'd like to compare notes so that things go better on my next attempt.