Easter is About Jesus - Period! A seasonal forum where we celebrate the true meaning of Easter. No bunnies allowed! |
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-20-2014, 02:49 AM
Which one of you ladies left this Easter Ham Olive Ring outside my back door? I want to know so I can improve security.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-20-2014, 03:16 AM
Not mine. The thing I left (at your front door) was made with real butter, not some of these homosexual olive oil stuff.
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True Christian Lady™, Certified Best Friend of Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 653
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Freehold, Iowa, God's Nation!
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Re: Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-20-2014, 12:10 PM
Not mine. I left you an envelope filled with extra tithings.
Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-20-2014, 12:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Which one of you ladies left this Easter Ham Olive Ring outside my back door? I want to know so I can improve security.
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More importantly, did it taste good? (It wasn't me)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-20-2014, 12:30 PM
It looks nasty. I can only think of one "lady" who might have inflicted that on you, Pastor. Only Christian charity prevents me from naming her.
I hope the 1926 Macallan arrived safely. If you like it, I'll ship the other case over.
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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True Christian Lady™, Certified Best Friend of Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 653
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Freehold, Iowa, God's Nation!
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Re: Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-20-2014, 12:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife
It looks nasty. I can only think of one "lady" who might have inflicted that on you, Pastor. Only Christian charity prevents me from naming her.
I hope the 1926 Macallan arrived safely. If you like it, I'll ship the other case over.
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Sister! You can't mean... !
As soon as "she" started acting extra demonic, I knew that once that barren old harlot left Freehold, we wouldn't see the last of her. I bet the "food" is traced with poison, demons and STDS .
I warn you, Pastor, get one of your nigra boys to dispose of it and then use acid to burn a few layers of his skin to remove it completely out of your Holy home.
Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
Last edited by Mary Thompson; 04-20-2014 at 12:36 PM.
Reason: spelling
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-21-2014, 03:55 AM
Just a little back-channel note here, Pastor Zeke.
If you are suspicious of the food, send it over to the Freehold jail. Every contribution is appreciated.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-21-2014, 04:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Just a little back-channel note here, Pastor Zeke.
If you are suspicious of the food, send it over to the Freehold jail. Every contribution is appreciated.
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I think one of the cook's picanninnies ate it. Smelled to high heaven.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 516
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Mission for Men, topeka Kansas
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Re: Found Outside Pastor's Door -
04-21-2014, 04:23 PM
I'm surprised you didn't have to stomp it out with your foot!
that would have been my first inclination.
Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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