Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page Praise to the Lord!
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Pro-Life Best Pie True Christian™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady Prayer Warrior True Christian Homemaker Most Obedient Best stoning bucket True Christian Beauty Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer In Love With Zeke Persecuted Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion True Republican Christian Love Kirk Cameron Fan Club Stamp of Approval BFF of Jesus Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Pie Saved 1 Year

 
Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Pumpkin pie Praise to the Lord! - 05-06-2017, 11:14 PM

I am pleased to act as spokeswoman for the annual Bringing in the Sheaves event at the church entertainment complex Friday evening!


In keeping with our Lord's command to go into all the world, (Mark 15:15,16) we once again invited the youth of Freehold to share fun, food, and sound Biblical teaching in the church auditorium, while the entire meeting was broadcast to 14 countries for the nigras, messicans, ungodly British, and slants. A highlight of each of these events is the "Can YOU Tithe More than the 3rd World?" competition. Once again, the children of Freehold won, raising almost $24,301. This money goes directly toward the purchase of Pastor Ezekiel's airplane - a project that has been a priority for several years now.


As everyone knows, God expects His children to be baptized, so we had a "Dunk Em for Jesus" hour, in keeping with Acts 2:38. Sister Mary Etheldreda donated five Super Soakers as gifts to those who volunteered to be baptized. Other children were also baptized so that their parents household would find honor. (1 Timothy 5:8) We are so sorry about little Joshua Fenlock's slip and fall. Brother Fenlock assured us that Joshie will attend swimming classes at the Freehold YMCA beginning in June. Sister Fenlock's unclean time required her to miss seeing Joshie getting baptized and under the circumstances perhaps it was for the best.


All of us should rejoice that Christ was presented to a viewership of over 40 people in the countries to which we beamed our broadcast. 12 new souls were brought to the Lord, PRAISE GOD! (Psalm 109:30)


For those of you who were unable to attend, we will rebroadcast the entire event (minus little Joshua losing his baptismal gown) tonight at 4, 8, and 10 PM on Freehold Flint Cable. DVD's are available for $100 at the church gift shop during regular business hours. No bartering.


In service to Christ,
NRL


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Saved from Communism

 
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise to the Lord! - 05-06-2017, 11:49 PM

Quite honestly, I think that Joshua's slip was the fault of his parents. As we all know, baptism can be only conducted on those who can fully understand its meaning. Even though little Joshua is how old now? Twenty five, I think? I don't think he was mentally ready for baptism. Honestly, I don't think he'll ever be, if you catch my drift. (I don't know what his parents did to deserve a son like that, but it had to be serious). And which part of "the person being baptized should be fully clothed" didn't his parents understand?!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise to the Lord! - 05-07-2017, 12:24 AM

I apologize again for my younger children's unruly behavior when they whimpered during the super soaker giveaway. I swore to them up and down that if they did not obey my command the first time, and with a smile on those irksome little faces, they would lose their birthday gifts. And guess who chose to be obstinate. They're paying off their punishment for the rest of the week and I ask you all to forgive the intrusion. Other than that, it was great fun!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved