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  • New Jew Lawyer Needed!

    I desperately need a Jew lawyer with a great track record. My old lawyer, Harry Finkelstein, dropped me as a client when I accidentally mispronounced his name as Fecal Stain some 28 documented times. How the man expects a decent American to correctly pronounce such a funny name is a mystery to me.
    Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

  • #2
    Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

    P.S. I should mention that last year I was dropped by Benjamin E Schmidt-Stein for virtually the same reason. I think it best I avoid attorneys named Stein altogether.
    Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

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    • #3
      Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

      Originally posted by Des View Post
      P.S. I should mention that last year I was dropped by Benjamin E Schmidt-Stein for virtually the same reason. I think it best I avoid attorneys named Stein altogether.

      My sympathies, Mr. Des.

      I understand there have been Jews who changed their names to Smith and Jones to prevent these problems. That is the ultimate solution.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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      • #4
        Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

        Oh those Joos! Their names are so weird and are just begging to be said wrong.
        Thinking of Abortion?
        That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
        Think of the children. Stop being a slut.

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        • #5
          Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

          Luckily, Jew lawyers are plentiful, so obtaining a new one should be possible.
          God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

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          • #6
            Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

            I hate when that happens. With my previous joo lawyer, the worst case scenario happend! He realized that he was a filthy joo and he converted into Christianity

            While I'm happy for his soul, he became totally useless as a lawyer when he was not greedy, evil and ruthless money-grabber anymore. Just imagine how bad I felt when I had to tell to a good Christian that I have to let him go.

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            • #7
              Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

              Originally posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
              While I'm happy for his soul, he became totally useless as a lawyer when he was not greedy, evil and ruthless money-grabber anymore. Just imagine how bad I felt when I had to tell to a good Christian that I have to let him go.
              You have to wonder what makes a Joo Lawyer so good at being a lawyer. I have my own theory.

              If a man has a feeling of guilt in the back of his mind all the time, I think he tries to compensate. So the Joo says, "I killed Jesus. I need to excel as a lawyer to make amends."

              This guilt torments the Joo and pushes him harder.
              Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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              • #8
                Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

                Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
                If a man has a feeling of guilt in the back of his mind all the time, I think he tries to compensate. So the Joo says, "I killed Jesus. I need to excel as a lawyer to make amends."

                This guilt torments the Joo and pushes him harder.
                You are a kind man, Mayor Hold, you always try to think well of people, even of the jews. I always thought jew lawyers are good lawyers because they have no honorable feelings at all, they have no conscience whatsoever, this makes them ruthless and wicked. They just see the money they can make. They would kill their own clients for some pennies just as they killed Jesus.
                Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51

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                • #9
                  Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

                  Originally posted by Des View Post
                  Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
                  I recommend a Jew with experience and not a new lawyer.
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                  • #10
                    Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

                    Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                    I recommend a Jew with experience and not a new lawyer.
                    Yes, they're like fighting-cocks, it's only seeing their sparring with another cock that we see if they are any good.

                    An experienced joo-lawyer in court is like a well groomed gamecock in the cockpit!

                    PRAISE THE LORD!

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                    • #11
                      Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

                      I appreciate your concern, Brothers, but I meant a lawyer new to me, not new to the practice.
                      Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

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                      • #12
                        Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

                        Here is a handy means that I have used: A Jew lawyer often called a "Goldberg". Those who are not named Stein are usually named Goldberg. Get one named Goldberg and just remember that your Goldberg is a Goldberg.

                        In this fashion, you will not offend the Jew by misstating his name.
                        God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

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                        • #13
                          Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

                          Looks like Gary Lipshitz will be handling my legal problems from now on.
                          Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

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