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Spiritual Mother of LBC
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Posts: 6,341
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Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-23-2007, 01:33 AM
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-23-2007, 01:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
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Those jews in the mass media have it in for our President, simply because he is winning the War on Terror. The truth is, none of us True Christian Pastors wear safety belts either. We are all doing our best to set a good example of Christian fearlessness. With the Rapture coming any day now, such trivialities as seat belts and worker's compensation coverage for our servants in inconsequential.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-24-2007, 12:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
With the Rapture coming any day now, such trivialities as seat belts and worker's compensation coverage for our servants in inconsequential.
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Praise. Seatbelt laws are just another example of anti-Christian persecution. When the Rapture comes, could you imagine trying to find the release button on those death straps amidst all the excitement and glory? Here Jesus is trying to lift His faithful home, and we're expected to just find the button and click?
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-24-2007, 02:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria
Praise. Seatbelt laws are just another example of anti-Christian persecution. When the Rapture comes, could you imagine trying to find the release button on those death straps amidst all the excitement and glory? Here Jesus is trying to lift His faithful home, and we're expected to just find the button and click?
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If Jesus can lift you through the roof of the car, surely he can manage to release your seat belt first, no?
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Sad young man seduced into witchcraft. Aka as Daniel, etc.
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Posts: 51
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-24-2007, 02:48 PM
When the Rapture happens, I don't want to be fooling with my seatbelt while Jesus is leaving with the rest of the saints (LBC).
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-24-2007, 03:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethereal
When the Rapture happens, I don't want to be fooling with my seatbelt while Jesus is leaving with the rest of the saints (LBC).
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So if Jesus can magically pull you out of your car and into the sky, why wouldn't he magically undo your seat belt first?
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Sad young man seduced into witchcraft. Aka as Daniel, etc.
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Posts: 51
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-24-2007, 03:23 PM
He's Jesus. He doesn't have time to deal with undoing the seatbelt that a True Christian doesn't need anyway. Seatbelts show a lack of faith.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-24-2007, 03:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethereal
He's Jesus. He doesn't have time to deal with undoing the seatbelt that a True Christian doesn't need anyway.
He's Jesus. He's immortal. He has all the time in the world.
Seatbelts show a lack of faith.
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Not wearing seatbelts shows a lack of brains.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Posts: 18,554
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Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-24-2007, 04:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
Not wearing seatbelts shows a lack of brains.
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Who nees a brain when Jesus is doing the thinking?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-24-2007, 04:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
Not wearing seatbelts shows a lack of brains.
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Sounds like the sort of thing a child might do, eh?
Matthew 18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
1 Corinthians 3:18 Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Night Hag
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Posts: 1,231
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Location: Enzed
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-25-2007, 03:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
Not wearing seatbelts shows a lack of brains.
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Precisely.
GO,Dubya!
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-25-2007, 05:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
If Jesus can lift you through the roof of the car, surely he can manage to release your seat belt first, no?
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I drive a convertible. I have faith, but I'm not taking any chances.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-25-2007, 04:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith
Precisely.
GO,Dubya!
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You have a point there, Lilith. I hadn't looked at it from that angle.
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Night Hag
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-26-2007, 04:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
You have a point there, Lilith. I hadn't looked at it from that angle.
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It could be that JC actually WANTS Dubya with him,so it's only fair that Dubya gives JC lots of chances to take him....it's quite religious of Dubya really,driving without a seat belt.
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Christ's Battle Axe
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Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-26-2007, 05:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
You have a point there, Lilith. I hadn't looked at it from that angle.
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For threatening the life of our Commander in Chief, both of your IP addresses have been reported to the FBI.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-27-2007, 12:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton
For threatening the life of our Commander in Chief, both of your IP addresses have been reported to the FBI.
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I'm quaking in fear
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Night Hag
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-27-2007, 06:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton
For threatening the life of our Commander in Chief, both of your IP addresses have been reported to the FBI.
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Oh Virginia - WOULD we do that?
Though TCFH awaits the FBI - he's quite fond of them for breakfast.
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 36
Join Date: Apr 2007
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
05-27-2007, 05:37 PM
Well, with no regard to the conversation between you guys, I don't really care whether or not he wears his seatbelt or not. If he gets into an accident, I know many will rejoice that his reign of corruption is over (not because he's dead. That part would be sad...)
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
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Posts: 2,695
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Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
06-04-2007, 07:45 PM
George W. Bush doesn't have to worry about wearing a seatbelt because Jesus is his co-pilot.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Re: Our President/Savior Doesn't Need a Seat Belt! -
06-06-2007, 07:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
George W. Bush doesn't have to worry about wearing a seatbelt because Jesus is his co-pilot.
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We know all about Chimpy McFlightSuit.
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