General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 08:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
I sure hope you meant that as a compliment, young lady. We don't take kindly to Forum Members critiquing the artistic sensibilities of True Christian ladies!
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Of course!
I see no color, I only see black and white. What do you see?
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 09:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
It's about time we take back the rainbow from the homofags. God gave us that rainbow after He killed most of the population with a flood to show that He loves us. If we let the homers take that away from us, it's like letting them take away the Lord's Eternal Love.
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Definitely. Let's start a "Take Back the Rainbow" campaign. Spread it into the secular world too. These homers are just too presumptuous. We should also reclaim the word "gay" meaning happy.
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 10:32 PM
Two words.
Special Olympics.
Bless you, my desperate dupes,
Father Mo
A Cardinal in the making.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 12:18 AM
GOD'S
GOLD MEDAL AWARD
for being
GOD'S FAVORITE PASTOR!
(and the World's best Fiancé)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,387
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 12:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
Two words.
Special Olympics.
Bless you, my desperate dupes,
Father Mo
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Those would be the cat-a-lick councils. Unfortunately for the choir boys your cardinals are only perverted retards, not cripples, so they still run and catch the choir boys (or even the swiss guards)
PRAY TO JESUS!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 01:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
GOD'S
GOLD MEDAL AWARD
for being
GOD'S FAVORITE PASTOR!
(and the World's best Fiancé)
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Oh, that's very lovely, Daisy Mae! I will show that to the professional graphic designers we've hired and see if they can incorporate some of your ideas into the award certificate!
By the way, I bumped into you-know-who at the Freehold Market. She didn't even make eye contact with me.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 01:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
By the way, I bumped into you-know-who at the Freehold Market. She didn't even make eye contact with me.
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Oh Faith, I'm so sorry. Maybe a card and some bacon would help patch things up.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 01:57 AM
Paster Z might like the award better if you incoperated this into it.
Course he'd want that most arch shaved.
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 04:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
I would wager Pastor Zeke does NOT want to win this award.
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I wouldn't wager on that if I were you. Gambling is a sin, you know.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Forum Member
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Posts: 62
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: godless India
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 05:28 AM
Thank you Pastor Zeke, for being such a strong support towards my renewed faith in Christianity. There's something Godly in your words and sentences which I can't describe with my limited worldly knowledge. I wish you Godspeed in this noble mission to draw more lost souls away from the clutches of satan, and into the Heavenly Father's abode.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 05:33 AM
I have spent all day mulling over this while I gave the children their lessons, cleaned the house, and made dinner. And I realised that Pastor Ezekiel deserves much more than a grotty piece of paper designed on Photoshop. I mean, how cheap is that? What I would propose is something like this:
In gold of course, white gold where appropriate. He could then place it on his mantel and it would be a constant reminder of the esteem in which we all hold him. What do you think?
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 06:44 AM
Mother of Seven, you do understand there's a prize awarded along with the certificate, right?
I don't want to say what it is, because we want Pastor to be surprised.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 07:22 AM
Sorry Mr Machine. No, I didn't know that. But I am so pleased that there will be a gift accompanying it. Pastor Zeke is the moral and spiritual guide of all of us (except for the Unsaved of course).
You could always send me a PM disclosing what it is
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 07:37 AM
I'll give you a hint: It's made in Stuttgart.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 07:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
I'll give you a hint: It's made in Stuttgart.
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Wow! Make sure it's the top model.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,766
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-28-2014, 11:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
We should also reclaim the word "gay" meaning happy.
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Amen. Gay is OUR word:
And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool.... James 2:3
I am proud to say that Jesus made me gay!
No homo.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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