[BaptistBethany]

Dear Landover Baptist, I am in the process of planning my youngest son's birthday party and need some advice. We have a few children in our neighborhood that we clearly do not want to invite: one in a wheelchair, one with down's syndrome and one with autism.


I am pretty sure the one in the wheelchair is faking! And we all know that down's syndrome is a lifestyle choice. And don't even get me started on autism!


I am using Numbers 5:1-3 to back up my decision to have these children sit outside my house during the party. If they want, they can look through the window and see the festivities.


Numbers 5:1-3 says: And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Command the children of Israel, that they put out of the camp every leper, and every one that hath and issue, and whosoever is defiled by the dead: Both male and female shall ye put out, without the camp shall ye put them; that they defile not their camps, in the midst whereof I dwell.


I would like everyone's thoughts about this.


I know I am making the correct choice, according to God's word. But just in case the parents of these defiled children start making a scene (declaring discrimination, etc.) I would like to have a little more ammunition "so to speak" to back up my decision.


Thanking you in advance for your Godly advice.

[Elijah Mee, PhD]

Ah, greetings to you, Bethany! I haven't seen you around before so welcome to Landover!

I'm glad to see you've taken on board so many teachings of our erudite True Christians™.

Indeed, being bound to a chair is verily a sign of laziness. Likewise, down's syndrome can be seen as an extreme form of laziness where the afflicted does not even want to make the effort to feed himself without first dribbling down his chin.

Fortunately, the Bible has much to say about such laziness. I'll offer 2 examples of many!

The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute. Proverbs 12:24

The desire of the slothful killeth him; for his hands refuse to labour. Proverbs 21:25


To prove that down's syndrome is a lifestyle choice, we need only look at the Bible:

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

With all that love and compassion in His heart, how could God possibly see fit to curse people from birth with such a horrible retardation? It's clear to me He wouldn't do that, which suggests downies are all spiteful little liars. As we know from the Commandments, God hates liars.

[Freddy Osborne]

Hello BB,

I would move and then have a party. It sounds like God has forsaken that neighborhood.

Yours in Christ,

[Witch Hammer]

I would invite as many retards as possible, but make sure you keep them segregated from the other kids when you serve the Malathion laced cup cakes.

When the cops show up, simply deny any wrong doing. Jesus has your back!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Bethany,

I glorify GOD that you are thinking of His Word in every thing you do. What a wonderful blessing you are to us.

I believe that moving might be a good idea if you can, even if it's a temporary move for the party. However, there is another way you could use these unfortunates and still have a party that brings honor and glory to the Savior (and possibly more presents for the birthday guest of honor).

You could attach little signs to them, directing others to the home. Children, especially those with curses, love balloons and bright colors. Wheelchairs make darling accessories as long as they are appropriately utilized. Wrap colorful birthday bunting around them. You could purchase masks for the uglier retarded or deformed youngsters - and then use them in practical ways. One could be used as a gift holder (but be careful to use a drool shield of some form).

I'll keep you in prayer that the Holy Ghost will fill you with tasteful ideas. After all, God loves us when we use His creation and all of its resources.

Blessings,
NRL

[BaptistBethany]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Bethany,

I glorify GOD that you are thinking of His Word in every thing you do. What a wonderful blessing you are to us.

Yes, I do try to use the Word of God to guide all that I do.


Everyone was right to suggest moving. I did not think of that option. My husband and I will be deep in prayer over this decision for the next day or so.


I will keep everyone posted.

[QNancyBoy]

The best birthday parties, in my experience, are ones in which you drop your kids off at the director of youth ministries house for the day, they'll come back knowing everything they need to know about jesus, and youll have more time to do womanly chores.

[Chewer]

Originally Posted by QNancyBoy

The best birthday parties, in my experience, are ones in which you drop your kids off at the director of youth ministries house for the day, they'll come back knowing everything they need to know about jesus, and youll have more time to do womanly chores.

Shut up queer.

[QNancyBoy]

Queer? I highly doubt it. What do you do to save yourself from the queers? I dress in womens clothing, the gays wont get me if they think im a woman.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

I'm sure you mean a Conception Party, right?