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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 01:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
I don't get it, but now I suspect you're a terrorist.
Jeff Dunham?? Achmed the dead terrorist?? You don't get that?? Man, that's a shame. That's some funny stuff. You should watch him sometime.
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 01:45 AM

Here ya go...in case you're interested.

[PORNOGRAPHIC LINKS REMOVED BY MODERATOR]

Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 12-17-2014 at 01:49 AM. Reason: This is a family friendly forum - let's keep it clean!
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 01:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
Jeff Dunham?? Achmed the dead terrorist?? You don't get that?? Man, that's a shame. That's some funny stuff. You should watch him sometime.
What channel is he on with the Glorystar Satellite Systems? Trinity Broadcasting Network? Hope Channel? Word Network? Gods Learning Channel? Emmanuel TV?


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 01:55 AM

Not to be argumentative but a nice lady by the name of Mary Etheldreda just gave me an infraction:
Dear JustDave,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forum.

Reason: Female unsaved trash speaking out of turn

I would like to point out that I am not Female so that infraction should really not be valid.
I hate to bring this into the public forum but I see no way to private message Mary or to reply to the infraction.
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 02:20 AM

If you are not a woman, why did you get an infraction for being a woman speaking out of turn?


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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 02:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
If you are not a woman, why did you get an infraction for being a woman speaking out of turn?
Excellent question. I assure you I am not a woman and I could provide photographic proof of that fact but I'm pretty sure that would end up in another infraction.
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 02:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
Excellent question. I assure you I am not a woman and I could provide photographic proof of that fact but I'm pretty sure that would end up in another infraction.
Maybe you're a stealth homer who had a sex change in order to trick other women into sleeping with you.


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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 02:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
You must be the biggest idiot who has ever been born. We get idiots like you each and every day and we have to rebuke them each and every time. I assure you it takes a lot of thinking to figure out how the idiot of the week is abusing his brain and to figure out how to get that brain to love Jesus Christ. There is a reason all geniuses ever born have been Christians. There is a reason all Atheists have an IQ below 40.

If your microscopic brain can handle it you should read this: Why a former atheist professor now believes faith is for smart people.

(I cannot believe I wasted my 18.000th post on this retard. Jesus really wants me to suffer to earn my entry into Heaven.)
Really, you've met every atheist in the world? Do you realise how ignorant that post makes you sound?
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 02:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
Maybe you're a stealth homer who had a sex change in order to trick other women into sleeping with you.
That would be a very cunning thing to do however all my parts are original equipment.
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 04:31 AM

Dave, don't you be trying to send out any pictures of yourself. Anyway, what proof is there that it would be you in the picture? Why do you dress like a woman and act like a woman? Why do you pretend to be a woman and then deny being a woman?


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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 05:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonThinker96 View Post
Really, you've met every atheist in the world? Do you realise how ignorant that post makes you sound?
Good grief, is that how you Jesus-haters get your jollies, by interstate online abuse of the elderly? Do you realize that's a felony?



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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 08:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
Not to be argumentative but a nice lady by the name of Mary Etheldreda just gave me an infraction... I would like to point out that I am not Female so that infraction should really not be valid.
Sister Etheldreda is a good Christian. She would never lie, about you being a woman or anything else.

Quote:
I hate to bring this into the public forum but I see no way to private message Mary or to reply to the infraction.
If you want to reach one of our forum moderators, just ask Jesus to pass the message on. Our mods talk to Him on a daily basis.


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SoalheiraMan SoalheiraMan is offline
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-17-2014, 08:51 AM

I don't think terrorism is a laughing matter. If you find that funny you probably are someone who is out to blow this beloved holy forum.

Should we inform the authorities?


Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-18-2014, 12:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
Dave, don't you be trying to send out any pictures of yourself. Anyway, what proof is there that it would be you in the picture? Why do you dress like a woman and act like a woman? Why do you pretend to be a woman and then deny being a woman?
Alvin, I'm pretty sure we don't know each other so why do you think I dress like a woman or act like a woman? I don't really understand how you came to that conclusion. Also, I understand everyone that joins up here is "unsaved trash" in the beginning but how do you become classified as something else like "True Christian" such as yourself?
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JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.JustARetard is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-18-2014, 12:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
Sister Etheldreda is a good Christian. She would never lie, about you being a woman or anything else.

If you want to reach one of our forum moderators, just ask Jesus to pass the message on. Our mods talk to Him on a daily basis.
WWJDnow, I'm sure Sister Etheldreda is a good Christian...otherwise she would still be "unsaved trash" and I'm not saying she "lied", she's simply mistaken.
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-18-2014, 12:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
Alvin, I'm pretty sure we don't know each other so why do you think I dress like a woman or act like a woman? I don't really understand how you came to that conclusion. Also, I understand everyone that joins up here is "unsaved trash" in the beginning but how do you become classified as something else like "True Christian" such as yourself?
Well, you could start by acting like less of a jerk and helping us to spread the Word of God.



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Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
WWJDnow, I'm sure Sister Etheldreda is a good Christian...otherwise she would still be "unsaved trash" and I'm not saying she "lied", she's simply mistaken.
Oooooohhh, bad start.



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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-18-2014, 02:27 AM

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Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
how do you become classified as something else like "True Christian" such as yourself?
Salvation is not like your modern "gender fluidity" nonsense. You don't just claim an identity today and another one tomorrow. To be Saved is to be Born Again (John 3:3). Tell us, have you given yourself over to Christ yet? Have you repented of your disgusting, putrid sins yet? Have you grovelled at the feet of the Sweet Redeemer and begged for mercy yet?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-18-2014, 02:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Salvation is not like your modern "gender fluidity" nonsense. You don't just claim an identity today and another one tomorrow. To be Saved is to be Born Again (John 3:3). Tell us, have you given yourself over to Christ yet? Have you repented of your disgusting, putrid sins yet? Have you grovelled at the feet of the Sweet Redeemer and begged for mercy yet?
Mary, I understand you are a moderator at this site which puzzles me. That places you in a position of authority over the men on this site which is a no no.. 1Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
I'm really surprised that the men in charge of this site allow you to be in such a high place.
1 Timothy 2:12 King James Version (KJV)
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Now, I suppose I shall get yet another infraction for this as I'm sure you will find some reason to disregard this and say it's incorrect.
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Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-18-2014, 02:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
Mary, I understand you are a moderator at this site which puzzles me. That places you in a position of authority over the men on this site which is a no no.. 1Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
I'm really surprised that the men in charge of this site allow you to be in such a high place.
1 Timothy 2:12 King James Version (KJV)
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Now, I suppose I shall get yet another infraction for this as I'm sure you will find some reason to disregard this and say it's incorrect.
I don't know about you dear, but I'm not in church. I'm in my kitchen.

And you have no authority here to take away.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT? - 12-18-2014, 02:43 AM

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Originally Posted by JustARetard View Post
Mary, I understand you are a moderator at this site which puzzles me. That places you in a position of authority over the men blah blah blah
You haven't done a single manly thing since you've been here, in this or the other loser account you made.

No more backsass from you, kid.


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