Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Angry Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 02:30 AM

THINK ABOUT THAT next time you are feeling randy and want to molest yourself.

For 30 seconds of pleasure you will spend an ETERNITY in HELL. If you are a male (as most masturbators are) All the the souls in the sperm you spilled will ALSO SPEND ETERNITY IN HELL. Yes, that is right! All your unborn sperms souls go to HELL too!

DON'T DO THE CRIME IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME!

1 Corinthians 6:18
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."





Next time you feel the urge to molest yourself, the Bible says you are better off cutting off that part of your body than to risk going to HELL.

Matthew 5:30


30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into HELL.






THINK ABOUT THAT PERVERTS. JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!






Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Levi Jones's Avatar
Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
 

True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Gunfest '06 Tithing Manager Saved 1 Year Pastor of GOD One Year/1000 posts Senior Pastor Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers 2010 Witch Hunt Award Pro-Life Outreach preacher Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Public Awareness Medal Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Long service medal, 3rd class True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Touched by Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Hands Off Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Saved 5 Years Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth and Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 02:37 AM

Being an ex-masturbater myself, I know the pain of breaking the cycle of self abuse. Your bottom parts feel sooooo full and you're sure even a breeze will send you over the edge.

That's why I turned to lucid dreaming. I learned that nocturnal emissions weren't my fault.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
The Hand's Avatar
The Hand The Hand is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Real American™ TC Bravery

 
Posts: 419
Join Date: Mar 2010
The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.The Hand has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 03:02 AM

I never saw the point in partaking of an activity that leaves you dirty and ashamed afterward. The fact that it's a SIN makes it all the more reason to put it out of your mind.

Gal. 5
[16] This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
[17] For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.


Heaven and Hell are certainties. Why risk your eternal soul for a few moments of unsatisfying and unnecessary work?


May the call of Jihad be forever outshined, outmatched, and outlasted by the The LORD's Crusade, to the end of eternity and the extinction of mortal flesh. Let those who march against it in His name be as giants - pure of heart, strong of body, honored, invulnerable. May those warriors be burning stars in the firmament of battle, angels of death on shining wings, bringing swift annihilation to the enemies of CHRIST. Amen.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Purge the Unfaithful's Avatar
Purge the Unfaithful Purge the Unfaithful is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 175
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Unwelcome at Landover
Purge the Unfaithful is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 03:04 AM

I found that the 6 years I have spent not touching myself "down there" or thinking impure thoughts not only saves me from God's mighty and bountiful vengeance on my soul, it also makes the word of God so much easier to understand.

Praise to Jesus!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
True Christian™ Televangelist
Director of Fundraising and Tithing
On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Tithing Manager Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Teabag Patriot Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Japan Iceland Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 03:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
If you are a male (as most masturbators are) All the the souls in the sperm you spilled will ALSO SPEND ETERNITY IN HELL. Yes, that is right! All your unborn sperms souls go to HELL too!
This is an important point. Masturbation is not just a sin against yourself and God, but others, in this case, sperm souls. Each time you masturbate, you are killing upwards of 600 million human souls! That's 10x the amounts of deaths of everyone in World War II....each time you ejaculate.

Masturbators are literally worse than Stalin. Masturbation is murder and unless you repent of your sins, you will go to Hell.

Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

But some people are confused about this. Why would sperm souls go to Hell? They are innocent, right? Wrong. The Bible makes it clear that the only way to get to Heaven is to accept Jesus Christ as your savior. Since sperm have not accepted Christ, they automatically go to Hell. Just like unborn babies and retarded people.

Psalm 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

The Bible says even before we are born we are worthless sinners deserving of Hell. Since sperms have not accepted Christ as their savior, the only place they can go is straight to Hell.

Something else to think about is this: The majority of souls in Hell are sperm souls. There are more sperm than adult people in Hell. If the average ejaculation is 500 million sperm, and a sinning hellbound man on averages 5,000 ejaculations in his lifetime, that is a total lifetime sperm count of 2.5 Trillion Sperm Souls sent to Hell. Per adult male human.

For every male sinner in Hell there are 2.5 trillion sperms. That is why it is called Hell. Because there is nothing but sperm everywhere.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 04:12 AM

OMG Rev Jim!!! Do you suppose that all the sperm souls are causing Global Warming because they are taking up so much space in HELL and causing it to overflow by seeping out of lava tubes and causing volcanic explosions?

Have the Icelanders wanked sooooo much and sent soooo many unborn sperm souls to HELL that HELL Sperm is literally being spewed out in to the air we breath? Just think of all the poor Brits who are choking in Icelander Sperm by inhaling the sperm soul cloud and all the planes that have been grounded because they are covered in Icelandic sperm souls.

Maybe all these sperm souls causing Global Warming will soon bring upon the RAPTURE!

It could happen!!!


SHOUT GLORY!


Attached Images
 




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Purge the Unfaithful's Avatar
Purge the Unfaithful Purge the Unfaithful is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 175
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Unwelcome at Landover
Purge the Unfaithful is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 11:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
OMG Rev Jim!!! Do you suppose that all the sperm souls are causing Global Warming because they are taking up so much space in HELL and causing it to overflow by seeping out of lava tubes and causing volcanic explosions?
I fear Sister that it is worse than that; every time someone touches themselves "down there" and spills his seed they commit the vicious murder of thousands upon thousands of souls! Just to think of what we hear happens in "Adult" video stores just makes me sick. Those places are such vile businesses celebrating this deplorable practice while millions of unborn souls are disposed of on their floors. Oh Jesus! Let your wrath flow on the masturbator!!!!

Glory Be!!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Petal's Avatar
Petal Petal is offline
LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Lady Saved 5 Years Home Schooled Virgin Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Pro-Life True Republican

 
Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Unhappy Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 11:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Purge the Unfaithful View Post
Just to think of what we hear happens in "Adult" video stores just makes me sick. Those places are such vile businesses celebrating this deplorable practice while millions of unborn souls are disposed of on their floors.
Mr.Purge, i be cryings for all them pore liddle unborned souls that not get no christain burials, i thinks they needs to be wipeds up off of them floors an tooked to a cemeterys where they each get puts into a liddle tiny coffins an burieds
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Brother Barnabus Brother Barnabus is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus Tell her once

 
Posts: 378
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: North Texas (Buckle of Bible Belt)
Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 03:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Hand View Post
I never saw the point in partaking of an activity that leaves you dirty and ashamed afterward. The fact that it's a SIN makes it all the more reason to put it out of your mind.

Gal. 5
[16] This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
[17] For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.


Heaven and Hell are certainties. Why risk your eternal soul for a few moments of unsatisfying and unnecessary work?

Well Duh ...No wonder YOU feel this way... With your screen name it's obvious somebody following Biblical instruction, cut you off and threw you away.

Praise Be Amen.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Brother Barnabus Brother Barnabus is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus Tell her once

 
Posts: 378
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: North Texas (Buckle of Bible Belt)
Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Barnabus has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 03:50 PM

As noted by the infraction.... I have shamed myself by insulting a True Christian. I apologize to Mr.The Hand. I prostrate myself before this hallowed assemblage so that ye may let the spittle,slings and arrows fly as they so righteously should. I'll then take my upstart , lowly self and slink off to a darkened corner where I shall contemplate and reflect upon the error of my ways and seek the resolve to sin no more.

Amen.

P.S. I also apologize to Bible Thumpin' Blonde for besmirching her thread with my presence on it.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off

 
Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 05:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Sperm is literally being spewed out in to the air we breath?
I have just been stricken by a frightening thought: What if this means that the large, billowing clouds of gas and ash are full of AIDs?

Of course most people in Europe already have AIDs, but what if it drifts over to America? We won't be able to go outside or run air conditioners for months!

What if that volcano was actually set off by Icelandic extremists to infect the world with AIDs? We need to contact the FBI about this!



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Robert Jones's Avatar
Robert Jones Robert Jones is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Tell her once

 
Posts: 333
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Godly South Dakota
Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 08:47 PM

All I can say is consider these facts by well known medical professionals regarding Onanism.

Quote:
Testimony of Eminent Authors. -- Says a medical writer, "In my opinion, neither the plague, nor war, nor small-pox, nor similar diseases, have produced results so disastrous to humanity as the pernicious habit of Onanism; it is the destroying element of civilized societies, which is constantly in action, and gradually undermines the health of a nation."
Quote:
"The sin of self-pollution, which is generally considered to be that of Onan, is one of the most destructive evils ever practiced by fallen man. In many respects it is several degrees worse than common whoredom, and has in its train more awful consequences, though practiced by numbers who would shudder at the thought of criminal connection with a prostitute."[15] [15] Dr. Adam Clarke.


Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13



Run to the KJV1611!
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
qamarun's Avatar
qamarun qamarun is offline
Unsaved trash, Godmocking witch
 
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mother Earth
qamarun is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 09:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
If you are a male (as most masturbators are)

This is not true. EVERYBODY does it. Both men AND women, same frequency, no difference. Other than bleeding problems once a month, which gives men a bit of advantage. But everybody does it, and it's completely natural thing to do.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Bruno's Avatar
Bruno Bruno is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 60
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Wherever my mommy lets me go
Bruno is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bruno is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bruno is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bruno is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 09:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by qamarun View Post
This is not true. EVERYBODY does it. Both men AND women, same frequency, no difference. Other than bleeding problems once a month, which gives men a bit of advantage. But everybody does it, and it's completely natural thing to do.
i agree on the part that everybody does it not just MOSTLY males.. in fact i think women might do it more than men..
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Robert Jones's Avatar
Robert Jones Robert Jones is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Tell her once

 
Posts: 333
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Godly South Dakota
Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 09:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by qamarun View Post
This is not true. EVERYBODY does it. Both men AND women, same frequency, no difference. Other than bleeding problems once a month, which gives men a bit of advantage. But everybody does it, and it's completely natural thing to do.
What an absolute lie! You will not find one TrueChristian™ who would
ever partake in an such abomination.

Genesis 38:9-10

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground,lest that he should give seed to his brother:

And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.


Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13



Run to the KJV1611!
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
qamarun's Avatar
qamarun qamarun is offline
Unsaved trash, Godmocking witch
 
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mother Earth
qamarun is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 09:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Matthew 5:30 30
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into HELL.
There's something off with this sentence... If you have already sinned, isn't it too late to cut your hand off? Aren't you going to Hell anyway?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Jones View Post
What an absolute lie! You will not find one TrueChristian™ who would
ever partake in an such abomination.
Correction: I will not find one "true Christian" who would ever ADMIT doing so, but everybody does that, mate, everybody does that.
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Bruno's Avatar
Bruno Bruno is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 60
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Wherever my mommy lets me go
Bruno is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bruno is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bruno is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bruno is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 09:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by qamarun View Post
There's something off with this sentence... If you have already sinned, isn't it too late to cut your hand off? Aren't you going to Hell anyway?




Correction: I will not find one "true Christian" who would ever ADMIT doing so, but everybody does that, mate, everybody does that.
dude get ready to be flamed out of your mind.. for some reason some of the people here dont take well to criticism
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Robert Jones's Avatar
Robert Jones Robert Jones is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Tell her once

 
Posts: 333
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Godly South Dakota
Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.Robert Jones has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 09:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by qamarun View Post
Correction: I will not find one "true Christian" who would ever ADMIT doing so, but everybody does that, mate, everybody does that.
I suppose you have a habit of going door to door, climbing trees, and hiding the water closets while observing onanistic practices to make such outrageous claims?


Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13



Run to the KJV1611!
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
qamarun's Avatar
qamarun qamarun is offline
Unsaved trash, Godmocking witch
 
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mother Earth
qamarun is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 09:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruno View Post
dude get ready to be flamed out of your mind.. for some reason some of the people here dont take well to criticism
Yea, I figured as much, and got used to it. It won't stop me from speaking my mind, though. Nothing could ever stop me from speaking my mind, loud and clear
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Oompa-loompa's Avatar
Oompa-loompa Oompa-loompa is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Atheist Caution - Poster is on Drugs

 
Posts: 108
Join Date: Apr 2010
Oompa-loompa is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Oompa-loompa is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Oompa-loompa is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Oompa-loompa is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Oompa-loompa is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Oompa-loompa is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? - 04-21-2010, 09:29 PM

Quote:
For 30 seconds of pleasure you will spend an ETERNITY in HELL.
30 seconds? More like 15 minutes (at least).
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
masturbation = gay sex, matthew, slutpocalypse

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved