[Born Again Bob]

Originally Posted by Little Orphan Annie, Feb 03 2008, 09:59 AM

My mother died of cancer last week, my family attend the local pentacostal church and the pastor tells me to release my anquish and greif over her death.
I don't belive that god exists as he let my mother die.
I hate him.
Anna-Lee

Dear Friend,

Boo-friggin-hoo. Oh, I feel so SORRY for you. Your mom's cancer is a RESULT of her sinful ways -- because she wasn't a True Christian™, Baby Jesus popped her full of sickness. Honestly, it's better than she deserved. Right now she's being slow-roasted in Hell like a Boston Market turkey, with huge slobbering demons casting lots to see in which order they will brutally violate her. She'll be begging for chemo by the time she's retching up sizzling acidic demon seed!

Tough first day, but par for the course when you reject Jesus.

Or maybe Baby Jesus did it because of you. Are you a CHRONIC MASTURBATOR? Jesus tends to make orphans out of CHRONIC MASTURBATORS. Maybe its because of your self-diddling ways that Mommy Dearest will be buried alive each night, kicking and screaming, in a pile of maggots, her mouth troweled up with dogsh!t. I hope making love to Lance Bass in your mind was worth it!

Get your head out of your self-pitying bunghole and read the Bible!

Yours in Him,
bab