MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-21-2008, 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Bob Cross
With my recent return, I'd like to resurrect this thread in hopes of hastening my search for a wife. Rumors are spreading about me, and I must prove my Godly devotion. Although women are surely inferior in every way, I'd like to continue making God's soldiers whilst having my dinner made. If you know any young, hardworking, virgins, please send them my way!
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Just for the record, ladies; Mr. Cross has categorically denied being a sodomite at all. In addition, he has denied being slavishly attracted to me personally, which is an added bonus for you.
Countless and innumerable homers spend their days adoring and lusting after me. My God-given chiseled good looks, rock hard abs and piercing blue eyes have driven some queers mad with lust. I've even heard that there are websites set up by some sick perverts out there dedicated to the idolization of my muscular body, and wallowing in lengthy essays that fantasize about graphic sexual encounters with yours truly.
Mr. Cross denied being involved with any such deviant behavior. Praise Jesus!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-21-2008, 07:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Just for the record, ladies; Mr. Cross has categorically denied being a sodomite at all. In addition, he has denied being slavishly attracted to me personally, which is an added bonus for you.
Countless and innumerable homers spend their days adoring and lusting after me. My God-given chiseled good looks, rock hard abs and piercing blue eyes have driven some queers mad with lust. I've even heard that there are websites set up by some sick perverts out there dedicated to the idolization of my muscular body, and wallowing in lengthy essays that fantasize about graphic sexual encounters with yours truly.
Mr. Cross denied being involved with any such deviant behavior. Praise Jesus!
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Very good. Bob, I think you'll find that Justina Thyme and Sister Noddy are two upstanding Landover gals who are eager to cook, clean, mend socks and bear True Christian™ issue. If only the Lord would send the right man their way. Are you the answer to their prayers?
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Forum Member
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Posts: 205
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-21-2008, 07:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
Very good. Bob, I think you'll find that Justina Thyme and Sister Noddy are two upstanding Landover gals who are eager to cook, clean, mend socks and bear True Christian™ issue. If only the Lord would send the right man their way. Are you the answer to their prayers?
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Justina is already Mrs. Thyme, Larry Lee. But maybe Sister Noddy would be best? She's always been comely and truly saved in all the discussions we've had together. If she's interested I wish you all the best.
Willpower rules the world.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-21-2008, 07:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Bob Cross
Although women are surely inferior in every way, I'd like to continue making God's soldiers whilst having my dinner made.
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Perhaps you should wait until after dinner to "make soldiers." Wouldn't want anyone to get burned trying to "make soldiers" while standing near a hot stove.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-21-2008, 08:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy
Perhaps you should wait until after dinner to "make soldiers." Wouldn't want anyone to get burned trying to "make soldiers" while standing near a hot stove.
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Dances,
Maybe you were making a joke why would a man be in a kitchen? That makes no sense.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,054
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Location: Right here, right now
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-21-2008, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Dances,
Maybe you were making a joke why would a man be in a kitchen? That makes no sense.
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Quote from Bob Cross:
"I'd like to continue making God's soldiers whilst having my dinner made."
If he wants to make soldiers while his dinner's being made, he's either going to have to whip it out in the kitchen or move the stove to the bedroom - dangerous either way.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 480
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Beside the Pool...
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-21-2008, 10:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy
Perhaps you should wait until after dinner to "make soldiers." Wouldn't want anyone to get burned trying to "make soldiers" while standing near a hot stove.
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I am truly beginning to understand you much better Ms. DancingWithoutUnderwear, Christians do NOT attempt to procreate while standing up. That is sure sign of Satanic possession. And in the kitchen? Are you completely mad woman? What kind of filth are you attempting to propagate here?
Your husband needs to get you under control, perhaps a quick jab in the eye might help??
Isaiah 36.12 - But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
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Posts: 3,054
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-22-2008, 04:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoNameAtAll
I am truly beginning to understand you much better Ms. DancingWithoutUnderwear, Christians do NOT attempt to procreate while standing up. That is sure sign of Satanic possession. And in the kitchen? Are you completely mad woman? What kind of filth are you attempting to propagate here?
Just trying to warn the dear brother about the dangers of attempting to make soldiers whilst having his dinner made for him.
Your husband needs to get you under control, perhaps a quick jab in the eye might help??
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I control myself, he controls himself, and we like it that way. Violence has no place in our home.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-22-2008, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy
I control myself, he controls himself, and we like it that way. Violence has no place in our home.
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So, if someone broke into your house and threatened you with assault or worse, your husband would just watch it happen instead of fighting back?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-22-2008, 04:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
So, if someone broke into your house and threatened you with assault or worse, your husband would just watch it happen instead of fighting back?
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Her husband? He'd probably start crying.
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SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-22-2008, 04:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
So, if someone broke into your house and threatened you with assault or worse, your husband would just watch it happen instead of fighting back?
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I'll clarify - gratuitious violence has no place in our home. Violence toward each other or other loved ones has no place in our home.
Self-defense and defense of loved ones is a a different story.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-22-2008, 10:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy
Self-defense and defense of loved ones is a a different story.
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Ya think?
Read your Bible, boys and girls. Jesus likes educated people. That's my take on it.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-22-2008, 10:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tLakota
Justina is already Mrs. Thyme, Larry Lee. But maybe Sister Noddy would be best? She's always been comely and truly saved in all the discussions we've had together. If she's interested I wish you all the best.
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Oh isn't that lovely of you to say, bless your heart!
Not that Brother Cross isn't a fine, handsome young man! But I happen to be a widow, and already tend to the household of my son-in-law and grandchildren! So it is written ...
Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I'm sure the good brother will find a lovely but somewhat younger True Christian™ lady whenever the Lord Jesus sees fit!
Praise!
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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