X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    A Request from the Godly fathers out there

    Do any of you have a good Christian daughter who I can marry? I promise to pay her full bride price as demanded in the Bible. All I ask is that she be a virgin, and I will require tokens of her virginity on the wedding night.

    If you have any questions about me, please feel free to ask.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: A Request from the Godly fathers out there

    Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
    Do any of you have a good Christian daughter who I can marry? I promise to pay her full bride price as demanded in the Bible. All I ask is that she be a virgin, and I will require tokens of her virginity on the wedding night.

    If you have any questions about me, please feel free to ask.
    We have a 45 page questionnaire you have to fill out so we can be sure you are prepared to be a suitable Baptist husband. Tax returns going back to 1918, cash on hand, a test of Biblical knowledge, and a tithe to start the process...generally 20% of your gross family wealth in cash, real property and negotiables (gold bullion, certified diamonds over 5 karat weight, etc.) This portion of the commitment is non-refundable.

    In exchange for this service to the prospective father, we sometimes pay the bride price as a wedding present, fully refundable (to us) if she turns out to be a whore.
    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


    Comment

    • #3
      Re: A Request from the Godly fathers out there

      I have an extra daughter of questionable beauty but unquestionable faith who will no doubt be looking for a devout husband in a couple years time. Right now she is 7, which I personally consider too young (sorry!). Please e-mail me if interested.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: A Request from the Godly fathers out there

        Originally posted by TheLordsOwn View Post
        I have an extra daughter of questionable beauty but unquestionable faith who will no doubt be looking for a devout husband in a couple years time. Right now she is 7, which I personally consider too young (sorry!). Please e-mail me if interested.
        I'm sorry. Women who were not raised in the Church are not acceptable as potential wives and we are not MOOhammedans! We don't take kindly to people offering up pre-teen girls. I have now seen three posts from you and have replied to all of them, but I now suspect you are a troll and so I am going to quarantine you forever. We don't need muckrakers in JESUS' presence.
        Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
        "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
        Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


        Comment

        • #5
          Re: A Request from the Godly fathers out there

          Sorry to all the single ladies out there, but I am off the market. I have met a wonderful Russian girl who I will move to America and have converted to True Christianity as soon as I have enough money.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: A Request from the Godly fathers out there

            Yes, sorry Mrs., but are all the mine now! Expensive, when you are emitting me the money to come America? You remain yourself to promise but never she arrives…

            Comment

            Previous template Next
            Working...
            X