The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-27-2009, 07:50 PM
Oh, Sister D'Arlene!
I do so like your picture! I can see now that you are a good Aryan woman with sober dress and uncut hair (for it is our Crowning Glory, as the Good Book says) that's neatly pinned up...not lasciviously free-flowing like some common Jezebel strumpet.
A very wise choice.
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Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,146
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Freehold, IA.
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-27-2009, 10:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Arlene Sepkowitz
P.S. My close friends call me "Shalom". I hope I will come to call many of you friend, too.
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Welcome to our Godly Forum™ Sister.
What sort of bondage activities do you and your kike husband engage in ?
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Posts: 108
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 12:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord
Welcome to our Godly Forum™ Sister.
What sort of bondage activities do you and your kike husband engage in ?
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I leave that to my husband's discretion.
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Posts: 108
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Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 12:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Oh, Sister D'Arlene!
I do so like your picture! I can see now that you are a good Aryan woman with sober dress and uncut hair (for it is our Crowning Glory, as the Good Book says) that's neatly pinned up...not lasciviously free-flowing like some common Jezebel strumpet.
A very wise choice.
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Thank you SO much!! That picture is the one that Mr. Sepkowitz keeps on his desk.
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 02:56 AM
Sorry it's taken me a while to extend my greetings, but Hello and Welcome, D'Arlene. Would you like a cupcake?
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Posts: 108
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 10:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
Sorry it's taken me a while to extend my greetings, but Hello and Welcome, D'Arlene. Would you like a cupcake?
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Thank you kindly for the warm welcome. I believe I will pass on the cupcake. Trying to keep my girlish figure! God bless you and yours-
Sister D'Arlene
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 10:43 AM
Welcome D'arlene.
My Cupcakes are the best in Freehold.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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True Christian™
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Location: Arkansas of course!
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 12:14 PM
Dear Sister D'Arlene.
It's very nice to meet you!
I'm so sorry about your Christ killing joo husband. I hope that you can save him before the Rapture.
I'd love to exchange pie recipes with you. Let me know.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Robert Roberts
George Jesus Bush
Savior of Democracy
Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.
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Posts: 108
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 12:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
Welcome D'arlene.
My Cupcakes are the best in Freehold.
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You are so sweet!! See you on Sunday!
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Posts: 108
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Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 12:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Robert Roberts
Dear Sister D'Arlene.
It's very nice to meet you!
I'm so sorry about your Christ killing joo husband. I hope that you can save him before the Rapture.
I'd love to exchange pie recipes with you. Let me know.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Robert Roberts
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I am quite distressed at the moment about my husband's status. Pastor Ezekiel said that because Solomon is a Jew, Pastor will be unable to pray for him. Will you help me win my husband to Christ as soon as possible?? I hate to impose, considering we have just met, but need help!!
Yours because He died for us-
D'Arlene
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True Christian™
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Posts: 109
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Arkansas of course!
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Arlene Sepkowitz
I am quite distressed at the moment about my husband's status. Pastor Ezekiel said that because Solomon is a Jew, Pastor will be unable to pray for him. Will you help me win my husband to Christ as soon as possible?? I hate to impose, considering we have just met, but need help!!
Yours because He died for us-
D'Arlene
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Dear sister.
I will help you in any way I can to save your husband.
Tomorrow I am going to lock little Robby Jr., Roberta, Robin, and Ricky in the prayer closet for an extra four hours to pray for your unsaved husband.
I feel so bad.
Here's an idea. When baking your next pie, cut up some applicable Bible tracts (KJV, or course) and place them in the pie dough. Don't tell your husband what the new flavoring is, other than it's a spice from heaven.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Robert Roberts
George Jesus Bush
Savior of Democracy
Help stop wasting taxpayer dollars on education spending.....Support home schooling, because reeding is fundermental.
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Posts: 108
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 03:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Robert Roberts
Dear sister.
I will help you in any way I can to save your husband.
Tomorrow I am going to lock little Robby Jr., Roberta, Robin, and Ricky in the prayer closet for an extra four hours to pray for your unsaved husband.
I feel so bad.
Here's an idea. When baking your next pie, cut up some applicable Bible tracts (KJV, or course) and place them in the pie dough. Don't tell your husband what the new flavoring is, other than it's a spice from heaven.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Robert Roberts
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Wonderful idea, Sister! I will bake Sol a pie today and cut up some of those cute Jack Chick tracts and include them in the gooey caramel center of my pie. I do want to exchange recipes very soon.
Thanks to your children for sacrificing their Saturday afternoon in the name of Jesus!
Your new friend,
D'Arlene
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 05:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
Welcome D'arlene.
My Cupcakes are the best in Freehold.
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Ummm....they are a bit dry, Sister.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 06:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Arlene Sepkowitz
Wonderful idea, Sister! I will bake Sol a pie today and cut up some of those cute Jack Chick tracts and include them in the gooey caramel center of my pie. I do want to exchange recipes very soon.
Thanks to your children for sacrificing their Saturday afternoon in the name of Jesus!
Your new friend,
D'Arlene
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Dear Mrs. Sepoquits. First, forgive me. I am bad with names, especially those of eastern European countries like Chekxovkala and the imaginary Beljim (whatever); JOOISH patronymics, Gypsy names and the like.
Some of the elderly ladies in our church have done me the courtesy of allowing me to address them with contractions. Sister SUV's real name is Sheytstyhkinkosos Unbayakonynka Shaporianastowovich-Valekkenova. She's Swedish.
Luckily I can remember D'Artagnan easily so you won't be troubled. Welcome to our GODLY home. I'm sorry you can't actually come inside, but GOD hates JOOS and, really, most foreigners as well.
However, you are welcome to participate in activities in the parking lot as long as you don't use the regular bathrooms. The Porta-Johns in the back are for our melon pickers and the unsaved.
Landover is an open and tolerant community. We don't allow discrimination or racism of any kind, so as long as you are wearing your yellow name tag and stay on the walks marked with a yellow line, you will be fine.
In an effort to demonstrate our extraordinary largesse we have recently constructed two new buildings. a "Guest" cafeteria so transients and people without key-cards are not embarassed trying to get into the Landover Tither's Cafeteria, and a wonderful new hostel for itenerant goths and wickedans.
The hostel was built for us by "Habitat for Humanity" and, since it is completely free, has acquired some unfortunate nicknames names like the Bates Motel, The Cockroach Trap, Gypsy juicer and etc. These are just jokes. Ignore them. But don't go in there because....ummmm....it's for youngsters. Only adults certified as 'child-safe' are allowed.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 07:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Sister SUV's real name is Sheytstyhkinkosos Unbayakonynka Shaporianastowovich-Valekkenova. She's Swedish.
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Sweet Suffering Suck-o-tash - I mean, JESUS, Pastor; I wipe a staid tear from my eye while reminding you that I am of Danish descent. Denmark is a Country which is much closer to the U.S. than Sweden and thereby, more GODLY. And my actual Name in the Danish Tradition is simply "Queen Eyestein Fahrt" - or something of the sort.
Technically, I am a Danish-German-one-sixteenth-French-if-Alsace-was-in-French-hands-when-my-great-grandmother-(or whoever)-Relative-was-Born-there AMERICAN
JESUS has already Forgiven me of my small 'Frog' problem. Now: HOW BIG ARE YOU???
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 11:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV
Sweet Suffering Suck-o-tash - I mean, JESUS, Pastor; I wipe a staid tear from my eye while reminding you that I am of Danish descent. Denmark is a Country which is much closer to the U.S. than Sweden and thereby, more GODLY. And my actual Name in the Danish Tradition is simply "Queen Eyestein Fahrt" - or something of the sort.
Technically, I am a Danish-German-one-sixteenth-French-if-Alsace-was-in-French-hands-when-my-great-grandmother-(or whoever)-Relative-was-Born-there AMERICAN
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Whatever. Denmark, Uranium, Tasbekiziod, Chevlosmaitca...it's all the same. You are still our lovely Sheytstynks.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Posts: 108
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 11:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
Welcome D'arlene.
My Cupcakes are the best in Freehold.
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Hello Talitha.
I appreciate your stopping by to greet me. Looking forward to trying some of those wonderful cupcakes very soon.
Your new Sister in Christ-
D'Arlene
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Posts: 108
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Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 11:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Dear Mrs. Sepoquits. First, forgive me. I am bad with names, especially those of eastern European countries like Chekxovkala and the imaginary Beljim (whatever); JOOISH patronymics, Gypsy names and the like.
Some of the elderly ladies in our church have done me the courtesy of allowing me to address them with contractions. Sister SUV's real name is Sheytstyhkinkosos Unbayakonynka Shaporianastowovich-Valekkenova. She's Swedish.
Luckily I can remember D'Artagnan easily so you won't be troubled. Welcome to our GODLY home. I'm sorry you can't actually come inside, but GOD hates JOOS and, really, most foreigners as well.
However, you are welcome to participate in activities in the parking lot as long as you don't use the regular bathrooms. The Porta-Johns in the back are for our melon pickers and the unsaved.
Landover is an open and tolerant community. We don't allow discrimination or racism of any kind, so as long as you are wearing your yellow name tag and stay on the walks marked with a yellow line, you will be fine.
In an effort to demonstrate our extraordinary largesse we have recently constructed two new buildings. a "Guest" cafeteria so transients and people without key-cards are not embarassed trying to get into the Landover Tither's Cafeteria, and a wonderful new hostel for itenerant goths and wickedans.
The hostel was built for us by "Habitat for Humanity" and, since it is completely free, has acquired some unfortunate nicknames names like the Bates Motel, The Cockroach Trap, Gypsy juicer and etc. These are just jokes. Ignore them. But don't go in there because....ummmm....it's for youngsters. Only adults certified as 'child-safe' are allowed.
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And a big ole Tulsa " HELLO" to you, too, Pastor Pistle. My, that is quite a bit of information for me to digest. I will enjoy the festivities in the parking lot as you mentioned when I am able to get to Iowa. I wanted to ask, will there be closed-circuit services here in Tulsa for those of us who live too far from Freehold to commute each Sunday?? I know the Church has members from all four corners of the earth- or at least the four corners of the good old U S of A.
As you have abbreviated Sister SUV's name, please feel free to abbreviate mine to sister D.D.S. (D'arlene Davenport Sepkowitz) if you wish.
Your Sister in Christ,
D'arlene Sepkowitz ( D'Artagnan Sepoquits)
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 11:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Arlene Sepkowitz
And a big ole Tulsa "HELLO" to you, too, Pastor Pistle. My, that is quite a bit of information for me to digest. I will enjoy the festivities in the parking lot as you mentioned when I am able to get to Iowa. I wanted to ask, will there be closed-circuit services here in Tulsa for those of us who live too far from Freehold to commute each Sunday?? I know the Church has members from all four corners of the earth- or at least the four corners of the good old U S of A.
As you have abbreviated Sister SUV's name, please feel free to abbreviate mine to sister D.D.S. (D'arlene Davenport Sepkowitz) if you wish.
Your Sister in Christ,
D'arlene Sepkowitz (D'Artagnan Sepoquits)
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Hi there Mrs. Sister DDT! We don't have any TV broadcasts into Tulsa or anywhere in Oklahoma, but you can watch us live at Ardmore Harley-Davidson in Ardmore, Texas. We converted those hippies and they are batting for JESUS! At least they TOLD us Ardmore was in Texas. I haven't actually been there.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,146
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Freehold, IA.
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Re: My name is D'Arlene from Oklahoma and I am new here -
02-28-2009, 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Hi there Mrs. Sister DDT! We don't have any TV broadcasts into Tulsa or anywhere in Oklahoma, but you can watch us live at Ardmore Harley-Davidson in Ardmore, Texas. We converted those hippies and they are batting for JESUS! At least they TOLD us Ardmore was in Texas. I haven't actually been there.
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Ardmore is in Texas more or less and is worthy of consideration.
I unfortunately have been through this small but Godly® Norte Tejas village and found it wanting,
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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