General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-23-2014, 10:14 AM
It's that time of year, friends, the time when we look back at the previous year and ask who really went above and beyond the call of duty to win souls for the Lord, and give that person the Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology!
Nominations will be accepted until the end of the month. Please feel free to nominate any pastor or Christian who you feel is deserving of this honor.
I'm going to start things off my nominating Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,387
Join Date: Nov 2006
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-23-2014, 08:36 PM
I second the nomination!
PRAISE THE LORD!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-23-2014, 09:01 PM
There is almost too much to choose from, and naturally Pastor Zeke is the obvious choice.
But (if only to give this exercise some appearance of fairness) I would like to nominate Brother Alphonse Alban. He has done much valuable work, but I was particularly impressed by the graphics in the first post here, explaining why Matthew, Mark and Luke's accounts differed in the case of the Gadarene swine. Suddenly the whole "problem" of apparent inconsistency went away!
My only fear is that as a result of his work, Landover Baptist will be inundated with saved, semi-feral folk from the frozen wastes!
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-24-2014, 07:26 PM
Who remembers Pastor Zeke's acceptance speech last year? Boy oh boy, was that a doozy. I thought he was just going to say a few brief words of thanks, but he wound up praising the Lord for six hours straight without even taking a sip of water!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,745
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-24-2014, 08:14 PM
http://rr-bb.com/showthread.php?1914...61#post2455861
Quote:
This morning I was having a "lie in" with my 10 year old, we were snuggled up in bed and I shared with him a conversation I had with a sweet 5 year old boy at Awana's last night about heaven and what it was like and the little boy said "oh boy I want to die right now." When I told this to my son he sighed and he said "yeah, I'm ready to go home."
Home. This isn't our home. Heaven is our home. For those of us with our names in the Lambs book of life, we are aliens to this earth, one foot in glory and the other here. Waiting.
|
This woman has been touched by Jesus and is sharing her Godly experiences with 5 year olds in the safety of a bed.
She is my first nominee.
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,745
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-24-2014, 08:20 PM
http://www.gregoryreid.com/infiltration/
I recommend Gregory Reid as "Best investigative True Christian" for his testimony:
Quote:
At the same time, a “former occultist” here got “saved” and began attending an Assembly of God church. He claimed to have been a Rosicrucian who was a courier to the Illuminati in DC. Within a short time, he became associate pastor. Then he began calling anyone who was in ministry who did deliverance, fought the occult or were saved out of the occult. He interviewed them, gathered information. I was one of the last he interviewed, more of an interrogation, and I felt the presence of familiar spirits the whole time he was at my apartment. Days after, he suddenly left, never to be heard of again. The church had several kids who had been molested while he was there, and the youth pastor’s two small children were killed in a freak auto accident. The church was decimated. Another Assembly of God at the same time was driven to failure by direct attack – death threats, finding slaughtered birds at the altar when they opened for Sunday service, and much more. Apparently, they had access to the church before two caretakers moved in. They wanted “their” church back, they said in one phone threat, and they would kill everyone to do it if they had to.
I needed confirmation of all I was learning. I received it through a dear pastoral couple in my association who had a wonderful church in the worst part of DC. Their ministry was wonderfully successful, aided a great deal by a couple that they befriended, grew close to and eventually became right arms to their ministry. Then, everything went wrong and their ministry was under horrible attack on every level.
The pastors cried out to God for answers, and they were stunned when He showed them that their best friends were behind it! Shocked, reluctant, they confronted their friends. They laughed. “We’re Satanists”, they said. “You were our assignment.”
|
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-24-2014, 08:36 PM
I have spent the last twenty four hours in my home chapel, working with Jesus to find The Truth®. I have been creating lists, flow diagrams, Venn diagrams, on my knees praying for divine inspiration. Every effort to do an unbiased assessment has resulted in ending at the same point. Only Pastor Ezekiel Flint is worthy. It is uncanny how God and Pastor Flint are so close. Almost like one.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,387
Join Date: Nov 2006
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-24-2014, 10:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
Only Pastor Ezekiel Flint is worthy. It is uncanny how God and Pastor Flint are so close. Almost like one.
|
I think it was about him....
1 Corinthians 3:16
Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
PRAISE THE LORD!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-24-2014, 10:42 PM
Because he loves his congregation so, I would wager Pastor Zeke does NOT want to win this award. After all, that would seem conceited and full of ones self to accept an award (again) that is named after ones self. I can, in fact, picture him reading this post and sighing as he says, "Sister Naomi, finally, a voice in the wilderness that speaks the truth."
Yes, I am sure that's what he's saying. Bless the Lord!
So I would like to nominate Dr. Mark Snyde. His work here is demonstrative of his caring and compassion for the unsaved and for the edification of True Christians ™ and Forum Members. I can hear Pastor Flint shouting a "Hear, here!"
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 07:39 AM
Friends, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that all the votes have been counted, and the winner is Pastor Zeke by a landslide.
The bad news is that I thought I'd save the church a little money and trust a certain somebody with the re-design of the award certificate because I heard she was good with computers and graphic design.
This is what she came up with, and I just don't know how I can go to the ceremony and present Pastor Zeke with such a drab looking certificate. I am just beside myself!
And I don't know how to bring this up with you-know-who, because you know how sensitive and touchy she gets when she thinks she's being criticized.
I am so upset about this, I could just cry!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
True Christian™ with a quiverful
|
|
Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 10:16 AM
Well, what about something like this?
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 10:27 AM
That one looks homersexual to me, what with the colors of their "gay" flag.
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 10:34 AM
Mother of Seven, that there's a fine effort! However, as Attila's Wife pointed out, it's best to stay away from colors, as most colors are pretty gay.
The person I had entrusted with the certificate's redesign was supposed to make us something real classy, like you'd get from a university.
I'm afraid I might have to dip into the church slush fun and get the certificate designed and printed up by a real graphic artist or printing company.
I just don't know what you-know-who is going to say when she realizes we're not using her design. I've never much cared for her pie, so, no big loss there. I just hope it won't be too awkward when I see her at Bingo night.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
True Christian™ with a quiverful
|
|
Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 11:05 AM
The colors are God's colors. God made the colors. And isn't Pastor Zeke very close to an angel?
Revelation 10:1 And I saw another mighty angel come down from heaven, clothed with a cloud: and a rainbow was upon his head, and his face was as it were the sun, and his feet as pillars of fire
And I must admit, I got the inspiration for the colors, from the avatar of none other, than you, Faith_Machine. I had been hoping you'd like it.
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 11:27 AM
Don't get me wrong dear, I do like it. It's just that the occasion calls for something a bit more formal, and less, um, "colorful."
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
True Christian™ with a quiverful
|
|
Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 11:47 AM
Mrs Hun is obviously a very black and white lady.
|
True Christian™ with a quiverful
|
|
Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 11:52 AM
Faith_Machine, maybe you could get your designer to put one of those gold leaf star thingies on it. Or, if she can't do gold leaf, a red star thingie.
A thingie being the thingie at the bottom left of this:
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 06:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
Mrs Hun is obviously a very black and white lady.
|
I sure hope you meant that as a compliment, young lady. We don't take kindly to Forum Members critiquing the artistic sensibilities of True Christian ladies!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
True Christian™ Beauty Queen
|
|
Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 08:41 PM
It's about time we take back the rainbow from the homofags. God gave us that rainbow after He killed most of the population with a flood to show that He loves us. If we let the homers take that away from us, it's like letting them take away the Lord's Eternal Love.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
|
|
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
|
|
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
|
|
Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. -
01-27-2014, 08:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
It's about time we take back the rainbow from the homofags. God gave us that rainbow after He killed most of the population with a flood to show that He loves us. If we let the homers take that away from us, it's like letting them take away the Lord's Eternal Love.
|
Homers and bronys.
Why do they have to pollute and bastardise a Christian symbol of Jesus' Righteous Justice and turn it into some liberal love sign?
Why? Why do they hate Jesus?
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|