[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

People keep saying that the Cruz-Trump wife-punching contest is an unpresidential distraction from important issues. Nonsense. As Hillary shows us, first ladies have a way of becoming presidents. It's actually already happened, when Woodrow Wilson had a stroke, his wife took over, making her the real first female president.

Once we bring back True Traditional Marriage, things will get complicated. Best to sort this out now, rather than later.

So, let's see who is a stroke away from the presidency:

The Ted Cruz Harem



Behind every great man, there's a great mistress.



Sex in a closet? Well, at least it's dark. It's a sin to have sex with the lights on.



Katrina, huh? Well, Louisiana isn't a swing state, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Donald Trump



No wonder Trump's kids are so well behaved. She's clearly a supporter of child discipline.

On the other hand, she's a foreigner and we know what the Bible says about foreign lovers:

But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;
Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. -1st Kings 11:1-2

If they can even corrupt as Godly a man as King Solomon, the wisest man of all time (1 Kings 4:31), so Trump is not immune.