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Reload this Page It seems like I probably need to eat the Bible :(
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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 12:29 AM

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Originally Posted by i eat the bible View Post
...See you guys later.
This will still be waiting for you:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
You know what would really help? Showing how you believe the True Christians™ violate any of the Scripture that you posted! Think you could handle that?
I'll not be holding my breath awaiting your response. Surprise me.


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Jesus Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 03:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
This will still be waiting for you:



I'll not be holding my breath awaiting your response. Surprise me.
Good thinking, i wouldn't hold my breath either.
No, despite your best efforts, i won't condemn anyone. I will however post some more of Jesus words.

Luke 8

4 And when much people were gathered together, and were come to him out of every city, he spake by a parable:
5 A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it.
6 And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture.
7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it.
8 And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold. And when he had said these things, he cried, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.
9 And his disciples asked him, saying, What might this parable be?
10 And he said, Unto you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God: but to others in parables; that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not understand.
11 Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God.
12 Those by the way side are they that hear; then cometh the devil, and taketh away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be saved.
13 They on the rock are they, which, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, which for a while believe, and in time of temptation fall away.
14 And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection.
15 But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.
16 No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel, or putteth it under a bed; but setteth it on a candlestick, that they which enter in may see the light.
17 For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.
18 Take heed therefore how ye hear: for whosoever hath, to him shall be given; and whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he seemeth to have.


Luke 13
6 He spake also this parable; A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came and sought fruit thereon, and found none.
7 Then said he unto the dresser of his vineyard, Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and find none: cut it down; why cumbereth it the ground?
8 And he answering said unto him, Lord, let it alone this year also, till I shall dig about it, and dung it:
9 And if it bear fruit, well: and if not, then after that thou shalt cut it down.


Luke 14
7 And he put forth a parable to those which were bidden, when he marked how they chose out the chief rooms; saying unto them.
8 When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honourable man than thou be bidden of him;
9 And he that bade thee and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.
10 But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.
11 For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.


Luke 18
9 And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.
18 And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
19 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.
20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.
21 And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up.
22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.
23 And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he was very rich.
24 And when Jesus saw that he was very sorrowful, he said, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!
25 For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
26 And they that heard it said, Who then can be saved?
27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.


That's all for now. You all know the Bible well enough to see what I'm getting at. I would hope so anyway. In any event, that should be enough New Testament for now. As much as i enjoy reading what Jesus actually said, I think perhaps some Leviticus is in order. See ya later guys!
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Jesus Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 03:49 AM

it seems i've gotten quite a few infractions. I thought the one about "twisting scripture" was quite humorous. I'm not sure how quoting scripture could "twist" it. It seems to me that only one's interpretation could do any twisting.
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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 04:10 AM

Since you have not given a name I will call you Mr. Cat
Mr. Cat
Please be considerate and respect our opinions.
We take the bible our own way and we are proud of it.
I will respect your opinion but you are wrong


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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 04:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eggcake View Post
Since you have not given a name I will call you Mr. Cat
Mr. Cat
Please be considerate and respect our opinions.
We take the bible our own way and we are proud of it.
I will respect your opinion but you are wrong


Who are you?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 04:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post


Who are you?
I am new here, my name is Michael but I prefer to be called cake, or eggcake
Hello!


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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 04:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eggcake View Post
I am new here, my name is Michael but I prefer to be called cake, or eggcake
Hello!
Well, Michael, why don't you introduce yourself? Start a new thread so we can get to know you!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Jesus Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 05:03 AM

You all seem quite familiar with exodus. what about leviticus? leviticus 1-7 specifically? I was wondering, because i feel like all those offerings could get expensive, and i wanted to get an estimate what some of you guys spend on offerings.
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Jesus Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 05:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by i eat the bible View Post
You all seem quite familiar with exodus. what about leviticus? leviticus 1-7 specifically? I was wondering, because i feel like all those offerings could get expensive, and i wanted to get an estimate what some of you guys spend on offerings.
anyone? I'm just trying to get a feel for what something like that might cost me. I mean, the price of gas may vary from state to state, fruit and whatnot too. But by and large, i imagine that unblemished male cattle probably have pretty stable pricing wherever you are on the interstate.
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Smile Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 05:44 AM

Yes, Mr (?, or Mrs./Miss. I am unaware of your gender, so I am sorry if I am offending you),

I am Harsha Shah. I must tell you that I am not a Christian (I am a secular Jainist and a schoolteacher) but I have many friends who are trying to convert me. One of them is Mr. Faith Machine, a very kind man, on this Forum. I have been receiving only generous advice here but I am seeing that you are having trouble conversing with these people, yes?

I have been visiting this site to become more knowledgeable in christianity. I have been seeing one side of it that is very heavily based on the Bible. Yes. Are you of the same faith as the true christian people of this site? You are posting a lot of bible texts so I am thinking that you must be but please do not be offended if I am wrong.

Are you mostly concentrating on Jesus? I have seen that the people over here are trying to take the whole bible in and it is a big dose, yes? I am thinking that it is not the type of christianity that I could follow. Perhaps yours is more attractive, yes? However, I am sorry but I am having trouble understanding your point. I would greatly appreciate if you could help me here because I do know that there are many types of christians around and they are not necessarily believing the same thing. Do you think these true christians are wrong? Yes. If I am offending you, feel free to ignore my post. Yes.


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Jesus Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 05:56 AM

Miss? Shah,

I'm glad you are looking into being saved by Christ. You bring up the very good point that the Bible is a very long book, and it is sometimes difficult to understand the full meaning therein. You are very astute to notice that i have focused mainly on Jesus in this thread. There is a very simple reason for this. Whenever i have questions in my mind about what the Bible says, the first place i look to for answers is Christ. Christ is the basis for Christianity after all. This does not however make the Old Testament irrelevant. There are many lessons to be learned there. Some parts may seem boring, like Numbers for instance. But it is worth it to keep reading. Its all part of the book you see? As for the rightness or wrongness of the faith of these Landover Baptists, i will not judge. Jesus tells us the in judging, so will that same judgment be meted unto us. For that reason, i will leave that Province to God.
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Smile Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 06:10 AM

Yes, I am Miss Shah. I am sorry but I still do not know how to address you.

Thank you for your kind answer and I am happy that you were not offended by it. I am sorry that the people of this site apparently were as I received an infraction also. I am trying not to offend anyone, it is the integral part of my religion to strive for non-violence called ahimsa. Yes. I was initially trying to see if the religions could be harmonised but I am afraid it does not seem to be likely. Yes.

You are saying that we could first look at the verses that contain jesus's sayings, yes? I am thinking this seems a reasonable start point. These people have been teaching me about trinity, how Jesus is God and how God's words are also the words of jesus, yes? I am having trouble discerning which verses are the ones to be taken less seriously? Is there a method available for that? Is the correct way in your faith to start by examining the words of god spoken when he was jesus and then go on to god as god? Then come the letters called epistles, yes? Are you thinking that it is impossible that the whole bible should be taken at face value? I am sorry if this is offensive but I am thinking that the bible has contradictions and diverse guidelines for a particular situation.

Yes. This is very illuminating. I am thinking that I may need to reconsider my opinions about christianity. Thank you! Yes!


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A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."
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Jesus Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 07:15 AM

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Originally Posted by Harsha Shah View Post
Yes, I am Miss Shah. I am sorry but I still do not know how to address you.

Thank you for your kind answer and I am happy that you were not offended by it. I am sorry that the people of this site apparently were as I received an infraction also. I am trying not to offend anyone, it is the integral part of my religion to strive for non-violence called ahimsa. Yes. I was initially trying to see if the religions could be harmonised but I am afraid it does not seem to be likely. Yes.

You are saying that we could first look at the verses that contain jesus's sayings, yes? I am thinking this seems a reasonable start point. These people have been teaching me about trinity, how Jesus is God and how God's words are also the words of jesus, yes? I am having trouble discerning which verses are the ones to be taken less seriously? Is there a method available for that? Is the correct way in your faith to start by examining the words of god spoken when he was jesus and then go on to god as god? Then come the letters called epistles, yes? Are you thinking that it is impossible that the whole bible should be taken at face value? I am sorry if this is offensive but I am thinking that the bible has contradictions and diverse guidelines for a particular situation.

Yes. This is very illuminating. I am thinking that I may need to reconsider my opinions about christianity. Thank you! Yes!

you may address me as Sir if you wish.
I think it is a good idea to read the whole Bible from beginning to end, but with the understanding that people (human beings) have been arguing for a long time about what it means. Even before the time of Christ, there was constant debate. Jesus, being sent from God, provides some insight. I choose Christ's insights over all others.
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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 07:51 AM

Way to go Mr Apostate. Since you've been here, you haven't won one single point of contention. Neither do you tell us anything about yourself, even after being politely asked to do so many times...

And finally, you've all but convinced Harsha, a person struggling with her faith, who has come here to seek Jesus and learn about Christianity, that Christianity is a fraud. Why? Because you've made her listen to your nonsense and apostate teachings. It's no wonder the poor girl is now confused. You've turned her away from Jesus, and handed her back to Satan.

Your master must be proud of you. Job well done. You can sleep good tonight.


"With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men." - Judges 15:16
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Smile Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 07:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by i eat the bible View Post
you may address me as Sir if you wish.
I think it is a good idea to read the whole Bible from beginning to end, but with the understanding that people (human beings) have been arguing for a long time about what it means. Even before the time of Christ, there was constant debate. Jesus, being sent from God, provides some insight. I choose Christ's insights over all others.
Yes, Mr. Sir,

I am sorry that I was not expressing myself clearly. I have read the Bible but that was only giving me more uncertainty about it.

I was enjoying many parts of the bible, Ecclesiastes and Lamentations and some of the gospels, these would be Jesus's insights, yes? I also understand that many christians take the bible much less seriously than the people over here and choose some parts over others, yes? I am sorry if I am offending you but you must be one of them? Luther was one of them also, he did not enjoy revelations of hebrew epistle, and while I am trying to say "yes" to everything I must agree with him in this respect. I am enjoying Jesus's speeches but not all of them. He is telling I should hate my mother and father (Luke gospel Chapter 14) but the old testament tells otherwise. This would be a problem if I were to become christian, as in my culture we revere our parents. Jesus tells us to use non-violence the ahimsa which I am also striving for (Matthew epistle Chapter 26; he also refers to karma here, yes?) but sometimes he strives for war (Matthew epistele chapter 10). I have been reading some commentaries and some of them say he is bringing a spiritual sword but others think it is literal and it is the war of the revelations. And I am still failing to understand the concept of Jesus's love because he expects faith and obedience but he is persuading with punishment and not logic (Matthew Chapter 13). yes, I am finding Matthew gospel very confusing, I am sorry.

I know this can be offensive and I am not trying to find problems with the bible but I am seeing two Jesuses, the gentle and the violent one. I am thinking that the people over here have accepted that, although I cannot understand how they can find it beautiful. Yes. Have you seen these two sides of Jesus? I am thinking it is like the blind men and the elephant. The people over here are seeing the hind legs and the lingam (I am sorry if this is offensive) while you are seeing the heart and the deep gazing eyes of the elephant. I am trying to see if the elephant is there or if it is just an illusion, yes?

Thank you again and I am hoping you can still spare your time to teach me more about your faith. I am thinking that is cannot be the same religion that I have been reading about here on the forum. Yes.


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A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."
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Unhappy Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 07:59 AM

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Originally Posted by Fred Hall View Post
Way to go Mr Apostate. Since you've been here, you haven't won one single point of contention. Neither do you tell us anything about yourself, even after being politely asked to do so many times...

And finally, you've all but convinced Harsha, a person struggling with her faith, who has come here to seek Jesus and learn about Christianity, that Christianity is a fraud. Why? Because you've made her listen to your nonsense and apostate teachings. It's no wonder the poor girl is now confused. You've turned her away from Jesus, and handed her back to Satan.

Your master must be proud of you. Job well done. You can sleep good tonight.
Yes, Mr. Hall,

It is Harsha here. I am thankful for your concerns. I do not know if I should be leaning on the Landover Bible that is like the world with sad, beautiful, ugly and marveloussly poetic things, or on the bible of Mr. Sir, who puts his Jesus before the trinity and the god of your people.

I am thinking that the elephant has a kind heart but it also produces dung and sometimes it is going amok and it does not even notice when it is crushing its caretaker under its feet. Yes. But you are most kind, Mr. Hall. Yes you are.

I am thinking that the elephant is just another brother from our ancestry and if I am kind to it it will know me and be glad when we see each other. Yes.


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A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."
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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 08:08 AM

Harsha, please read this scripture carefully, and tell me what you think it means please: 2Tim 3:16

And after reading this scripture, you please tell me... Should we read and cherry pick scriptures and follow them... perhaps only following the sayings of Jesus? Or, should we follow ALL of them?

Please tell me what the Bible's answer is based on the above scripture.

Afterwards, please consider the nonsense that Mr Apostate is trying to teach you.

And may the Lord's spirit be with you while you contemplate these matters.


"With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men." - Judges 15:16
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Smile Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 08:17 AM

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Originally Posted by Fred Hall View Post
Harsha, please read this scripture carefully, and tell me what you think it means please: 2Tim 3:16

And after reading this scripture, you please tell me... Should we read and cherry pick scriptures and follow them... perhaps only following the sayings of Jesus? Or, should we follow ALL of them?

Please tell me what the Bible's answer is based on the above scripture.

Afterwards, please consider the nonsense that Mr Apostate is trying to teach you.

And may the Lord's spirit be with you while you contemplate these matters.
Yes, Mr. Hall (and Mr. Sir),

I am sorry, but I am confused, yes. Perhaps the bible is just like the Jaina Sutras, a roadmap to live a good life or a bad life. But the map is not the world. Sometimes we have to discard the map to see the world as it is. Yes. I know that this is offensive. The world is sad and beautiful and so are you both. Thank you. I am saying "yes" to you both: Yes!


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A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."
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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 09:17 AM

Woman.... he has you now foaming at the mouth and slobbering all over yourself...speaking in demonic tongues with the jainus sitra roadmap crap.

Don't worry... I'll pray for your soul, to loose you from the snare of this devil! Those apostates aren't happy unless they're handing souls over to Satan.


"With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men." - Judges 15:16
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Default Re: It seems like I probably need to read the Bible :( - 08-24-2015, 11:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Harsha Shah View Post
Yes, Mr. Hall,

It is Harsha here. I am thankful for your concerns. I do not know if I should be leaning on the Landover Bible that is like the world with sad, beautiful, ugly and marveloussly poetic things, or on the bible of Mr. Sir, who puts his Jesus before the trinity and the god of your people.

I am thinking that the elephant has a kind heart but it also produces dung and sometimes it is going amok and it does not even notice when it is crushing its caretaker under its feet. Yes. But you are most kind, Mr. Hall. Yes you are.

I am thinking that the elephant is just another brother from our ancestry and if I am kind to it it will know me and be glad when we see each other. Yes.
Hello Harsha and welcome from a piece of Unsaved Trash. I'm concerned that your religion has you worshipping elephants. I can't see you'll find anything about Elephant Worship in the Good Book. Perhaps you could look into Jehovah's Witnesses' beliefs? I believe they house all manner of beasts in their Watchtowers.
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