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Default How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-18-2008, 01:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Akimaaz Smith
You can't understand this because you live in Romania, so you don't have electricity yet.Electricity is the will of God, just like gravity. If the Lord God can make the stars fall from the sky, surely he can make household appliances run without a hitch. What more explanation do we need?
This quote of wisdom is taken from one of the blessed men and women that found these forums to be their home in faith and it depicts a tragic situation in which I found moyself and my country in. Simply put: my country posseses no electricity because Lord God did not wanted for us to have. He did not want for us to have household appliances or everything else that runs with the "sparky-think" called "electricity".

So, with no further ado, I ask you, TRUE CHRISTIANS!!, how can my people have electricity?! How long do we have to pray?! Do we have to sacrifice our maidens? Our children? WHAAT?! I WANT TO BE IN HEAVEN JUST LIKE YOU! :cry:

P.S.: Also our country has just produced our first car! But unfortunately its wheels are made of wood...cut from the forrest!! We're pretty sad though because the wonder named rubber was not revealed to us yet and it runs with horse dung. So again, what do I have to do to travel magnificient roads just like you all have over there, in the most favoursed country by God...AMERICA!

GLORY TO JESUS AND THE AMERICANS!


God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-18-2008, 02:24 PM

Friend, you have already taken the first step, recognizing the depraved state that your nation it in. Praying without ceasing is a good start.

However, I have it on good authority that most of the folks in your country are Atheists, Communists, drug addicts, Gypsy fortune tellers, vampires, Olympic gymnasts, Devil worshipers, Eastern Orthodox, and/or werewolves. Is it any wonder your country has been cursed by God?

You need to spread the Gospel message to others. Convert as many people as you can to True Christianity™, and convince them to do the same. Once True Christianity™ spreads like a wildfire across your nation, I know that your fate will change.

SHOUT GLORY!

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-18-2008, 04:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
However, I have it on good authority that most of the folks in your country are Atheists, Communists, drug addicts, Gypsy fortune tellers, vampires, Olympic gymnasts, Devil worshipers, Eastern Orthodox, and/or werewolves. Is it any wonder your country has been cursed by God?

You need to spread the Gospel message to others. Convert as many people as you can to True Christianity™, and convince them to do the same. Once True Christianity™ spreads like a wildfire across your nation, I know that your fate will change.
Either that, or make like Lot and high-tail it out of that depraved gypsy scumpit before the Lord smites it all to...well, it's hard to imagine anything worse than Romania know, but the Lord will find a way somehow. You probably don't stand a chance of making it into a civilised country like the US, but Godless Britain is only too willing to accept all kinds of East European filth, like Polacks and sub-Polacks. You make a refreshing change from the Islamists, I have to admit that.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-19-2008, 04:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SadSightSeer
So, with no further ado, I ask you, TRUE CHRISTIANS!!, how can my people have electricity?! How long do we have to pray?! Do we have to sacrifice our maidens? Our children? WHAAT?! I WANT TO BE IN HEAVEN JUST LIKE YOU! :cry:
What makes you think that electricity would be a favor?

According to this website, all you have to sacrifice is your self-respect, your sanity, your health, and your God-assigned dominant role in the bedroom!

Now, I may be a mere female, but I can certainly see well-researched science when I see it. Just look at this study of hair loss in men who wear (electricity-conducting) glasses! The author's scientific method has no flaw whatsoever, surely he is correct!

I only hope we in the electricity-addicted developed world can find a way to protect ourselves from this horrible menace!
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-23-2008, 05:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
What makes you think that electricity would be a favor?

According to this website, all you have to sacrifice is your self-respect, your sanity, your health, and your God-assigned dominant role in the bedroom!

Now, I may be a mere female, but I can certainly see well-researched science when I see it. Just look at this study of hair loss in men who wear (electricity-conducting) glasses! The author's scientific method has no flaw whatsoever, surely he is correct!

I only hope we in the electricity-addicted developed world can find a way to protect ourselves from this horrible menace!
Oh my Saviour! This means that in Romania (and few other Stone Age countries that don't posses electricity) men still have their self-respect, sanity, health and their God-assigned dominant role in the bedroom like it happens in the USA now. I pity you righteous American Christians for your depraved ways under the "sparkle-thing"! Long live fornicating under the black cover of the night!

PRAISE THE LORD FOR CANDLES MADE BY OUR DEAD PEOPLE FAT!


God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-24-2008, 12:40 AM

I'm not surre if you'll accept advice from a woman such as myself, but PRAISE GOD!

Or, move to Godly USA!
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-25-2008, 05:50 PM

I hope you all realise he is joking.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-26-2008, 01:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacha-DG View Post
I hope you all realise he is joking.
What makes you say that? He seems perfectly sincere to me.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-26-2008, 01:34 PM

lol, you guys believe in werewolfs and Vampires?
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-26-2008, 08:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
What makes you say that? He seems perfectly sincere to me.
Romania, has electricity, cars, and exports plenty of fossil fuels. Their GDP per capita is $11,100. Only 25% of their population lives below the poverty line, and if they have no electricity, would you care to explain how he is gaining access to the internet?
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-27-2008, 06:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacha-DG View Post
Romania, has electricity, cars, and exports plenty of fossil fuels. Their GDP per capita is $11,100. Only 25% of their population lives below the poverty line, and if they have no electricity, would you care to explain how he is gaining access to the internet?
He might have a gerbil running some sort of treadmill to generate power? I really have no idea, but I certainly do not go around accusing people of being less than sincere without any proof. Being a Man of God, I take people at their word.

Why are you atheists so full of hate all the time?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-27-2008, 08:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacha-DG View Post
Romania, has electricity, cars, and exports plenty of fossil fuels. Their GDP per capita is $11,100. Only 25% of their population lives below the poverty line, and if they have no electricity, would you care to explain how he is gaining access to the internet?
Sacha-DG, please don't come here and shatter to pieces anything that these people believe in. You are a cruel person if you want that. America is the blessed land, the Bible is God's word and that's that. The rest can (and will) go to hell.

AMEN


God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-27-2008, 09:09 AM

Also, a great personality like Akimaaz Smith who is a - I quote - "Pastor Deacon Fred Hall, Landover Christian University School of Law, Freehold, Iowa, God's Country", a TRUE CHRISTIAN doing the will of GOD HIMSELF afirmed that so you, who are an "unsaved trash" (as your forum rank mentions it), can't have anything to say against him.

AMEN


God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-27-2008, 12:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
He might have a gerbil running some sort of treadmill to generate power? I really have no idea, but I certainly do not go around accusing people of being less than sincere without any proof. Being a Man of God, I take people at their word.

Why are you atheists so full of hate all the time?
You didn't even read what I said did you?
Romania has huge supplies of fossil fuels.
Fossil fuels are used to generate electricity.
Why would he need a hamster of any kind when they have plenty of power stations?
I could tell that I am in fact God. You cannt prove that I am not. Would you therefore believe that I am not?
Open your eyes.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-27-2008, 05:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacha-DG View Post
Romania has huge supplies of fossil fuels.
Fossil fuels are used to generate electricity.
I unveiled you, fiend!!!! Did you do diggings in the barren deserts of Romania to see if there are any said "fossil fuels"?! I bet you did them at night as you allied yourself with the vampires and werewolves. For sure a pact with Satan, sealed with your blood! There for you are one of those poor souls called "Geologists" that will burn in hell for all the eternity!!

Or you are one of those naive people that believe in their lies and demonic conspiracies!

Here is what one of the great personalities on this forums and the entire True Christianity says about your foul kin!

Geologists

Even before Darwin, it was geologists who began to claim that the Earth is older than 6004 years. And modern geology stubbornly refuses to yield up its hidden proof of a universal flood, or the recent and coeval existence of all creatures, living and extinct.


For more truth, read this: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4474

Sacha-DG, I here by proclaim you a sinner! Repent and see the truth in my words...

Also, my friend into suffering, you have to understand that in this place you must leave all your logic behind and substitute True Christianity's special way of...seeing things.


God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-27-2008, 07:46 PM

Actually, I obtained the information from the CIA website. In case you didn't know, the CIA or 'Central Intellegence Agency' is an incredibly important part of America's, 'God's Country''s Republican government.

https://www.cia.gov/library/publicat...k/geos/ro.html

Might I point out, that to forgoe logic and is to accept ignorance. I will never, ever do that.
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-28-2008, 06:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacha-DG View Post

Might I point out, that to forgoe logic and is to accept ignorance. I will never, ever do that.
You may be in love with your logic, but anyone who rejects Christ is a fool.

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
Proverbs 28:26

It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.
For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool: this also is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 7:5-6

The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14:1


By the way, fools end up in hellfire. You might want to rethink your love affair with the musings of your own sinful mind.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-28-2008, 12:57 PM

You may be satisfied with ignorance, but I am not. If that is Christian reasoning the heaven must be full of idiots, and let me tell you, I would rather burn in hell for all eternity than be surrounded by idiots.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-28-2008, 01:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacha-DG View Post
You may be satisfied with ignorance, but I am not. If that is Christian reasoning the heaven must be full of idiots, and let me tell you, I would rather burn in hell for all eternity than be surrounded by idiots.
So let me get this straight.

I am up in Heaven, sharing a cold beer with Jesus at an endless barbecue party, laughing and watching you....


...getting anally assaulted by every demon in hell, while you are face down in a tidepool of scalding hot bile, for all eternity.....


...and you want to call ME an idiot?



Your cleverness is going to take you further and further away from Christ's love.

Enjoy hell, fool.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"? - 01-29-2008, 11:04 PM

Yeah, pretty much. I will not shut my ears and close my eyes just so I can go to Jesus. If he gave me eyes, ears, a brain and the powers of reasoning + logic, that was for a reason. I see no reason to be punished for using them.
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