MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-15-2008, 08:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Bob Cross
Excuse me, did Satan remove your ability to think, read, and type properly when he laid claim to your soul, heathen? I'll just assume your homer bullshit was some sort of facetious nonsense. And to further note, the only thing worse than a 40 year old virgin (or 80 year old virgin for that matter) would be a 40 year old unmarried fornicating heathen. Obviously I am neither, but go ahead and continue imagining things... you'll be in Hell in no time.
What kind of joke is that? Women do the cleaning, cooking, baby-making, and pleasing. If doing her chores wasn't pleasing enough she should have jumped off a cliff, because there's nothing more to the life of a woman.
If your filthy heathen mind was trying to imply some sort of sexual pleasure. You better think twice. Sex is for procreation, not for giving the wife some sort of disgusting body contractions. (Only hearsay, I've never experienced such bestial displays)
And as for that Idol worshiping papist fool...
Muslims:
Buddhists:
You:
Need I say more? False idols are false idols.
Enjoy your time with the cotton lover.
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I don't think that black people love cotton. Especially not in the way you love Jesus.
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-15-2008, 08:05 PM
As of this moment I'm unaware how to edit posts, so my apologies for the double post.
From reading this post I am sorry you have been hurt by your wife in this way, but instead of marrying underage girls (like those suggested previously whom look pre-pubescent) Why not find someone your own age with whom you can share your interests with and actually talk to instead of a girl who you'll have to pick up from school everyday.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-16-2008, 06:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zodiarc
Why not find someone your own age with whom you can share your interests with and actually talk to instead of a girl who you'll have to pick up from school everyday.
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A girl who goes to school? He wants a decent, God-fearing wife who'll know her place, not some trollop who thinks she's better than a man and quotes Darwin all day!
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Godly Brit
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Posts: 377
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Location: roaming the highlands for hellish miscreants
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-17-2008, 05:04 AM
The pickings are slim...nowadays women are all drawn to the feminazi version of womanhood. If you cannot find a decent unmarried Baptist woman in your congregation you are forced to look elsewhere.
The non Baptist women are all hell bent, of that I have no doubt. Talking about pleasure and pleasing her and all of that rubbish.
If they won't listen to the Bible I've a good mind to sometimes clobber them with it.
We need to bring more people to the Baptist faith...I'm certain of this. God fearing women who understand their role as help mate.
The one good thing Brother is that when you find her you will have tossed all the lesser riff raff away and will have exactly what you want. The grain is the best when the chaff is tossed aside.
I haven't noticed yet as I get too taken up with other topics and witness...but is there a topic here for training the good Baptist Christian wife? Perhaps if there isn't one of our lovely graceful women can teach the appropriate lessons.
To those vile unsaved women sending me private messages...no you may not look up my kilt. I do not wear a kilt all the time and that was for a special occasion. I had to do it as a family obligation. I'd rather be in manly trousers and the only one who gets to view the seed dispenser of God will be my beloved and dutiful wife.
To you agents of false religions and atheists...
Proverbs 16:2
All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-24-2008, 04:20 PM
Hi BB,
I am in Dallas and you are kinda cute. I have two questions, though.
1) Do you have family money?
2) Why do you think your wife cuckolded you?
I look forward to hearing from you, Bob.
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-24-2008, 05:40 PM
Dear Bob,
You sound like a very nice and uncomplicated man. I am really sorry your wife chose to humiliate you.
We are looking for a lacrosse coach at our local high school. Would you consider moving to Vermont?
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-25-2008, 06:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta
We are looking for a lacrosse coach at our local high school. Would you consider moving to Vermont?
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Beware, Brother Bob!
This hairy-armpitted Lezbian lacrosse player is obviously looking to tempt you into a dark corner, where she and her "butchez" can chop off your <censored>!!
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-25-2008, 06:15 AM
The phrase "fiery pits of hell" comes to mind.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-27-2008, 02:42 AM
self-censored
"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me" -- Faaabulous President Bush, May 27, 2004
Last edited by narrowpathy; 01-27-2008 at 02:43 AM.
Reason: self-censored
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-27-2008, 02:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Bob Cross
Until very recently, I thought I was married to a pure Christian woman. Although after coming home from coaching my team, I walk into my home to find my filthy (NOW EX-) wife fornicating with a nigra boy. But I have not come here to have anyone feel sorry for me. My bible teaches me better than that.
Psalms 3:3 But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
With my heart in the Lord's hands, I'm looking for a young virgin as a candidate for my future wife. I'm 34 and coach the Memorial Parkway Junior High Eagles Football B team. I'm open to dating any night besides Friday (game night) and Sunday. (of course) If you are in the Katy area, I'd love to meet you for drinks or bible study.
On the other hand, I'd like to add that I have nothing but high hopes that the Lord will be laughing with me in Heaven someday as my rotten nigra-loving ex-wife burns in the depths of hell (if women even have souls, that is). May she be ravaged there with 10 fold the aggression of what I witnessed in my home.
Thank you all for the support, and I look forward to meeting a beautiful virgin soon.
- Brother Bob Cross
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Oh Brother Bob,
I am so sympathetic with your plight! You must be very horny now, as you surely fon't go to brothels as some hell-bound heathens and atheists here.
This Saintly virgin will be very happy to relieve you from the tension in the round dangling parts of your temple of the Holy Spirit and she will be happy to make you husband and father of her children who you will no doubt make True Christians
"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me" -- Faaabulous President Bush, May 27, 2004
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-27-2008, 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by narrowpathy
Oh Brother Bob,
I am so sympathetic with your plight! You must be very horny now, as you surely fon't go to brothels as some hell-bound heathens and atheists here.
This Saintly virgin will be very happy to relieve you from the tension in the round dangling parts of your temple of the Holy Spirit and she will be happy to make you husband and father of her children who you will no doubt make True Christians
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Sorry Brother, she won't do. First she is a Catolick and secondly she is a filthy, dirty beaner.
L ve, Sister Thumper
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-27-2008, 05:30 PM
a
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Sorry Brother, she won't do. First she ils a Catolick and secondly she is a filthy, dirty beaner.
L ve, Sister Thumper
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I think she looks WASP alright0.
"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me" -- Faaabulous President Bush, May 27, 2004
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-27-2008, 07:10 PM
Is a beaner a woman from Boston? New England is the only place in the US that God has blessed.
You will see when the Patriots win the Super Bowel!
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
01-27-2008, 11:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by narrowpathy
Oh Brother Bob,
I am so sympathetic with your plight! You must be very horny now, as you surely fon't go to brothels as some hell-bound heathens and atheists here.
This Saintly virgin will be very happy to relieve you from the tension in the round dangling parts of your temple of the Holy Spirit and she will be happy to make you husband and father of her children who you will no doubt make True Christians
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I see Hitoshi has gotten into the Photoshop again.
Is there nothing that disgusting perverted little monkey won't do to get some, from SOMEONE?!
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
02-12-2008, 09:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
We VENERATE (less than worship, but more than usual respect) her. All we do is ask her to pray to God for our needs (she is one POWERFUL intercessor)
I realized the NIV wasn't entirely accurate...It's the NAB and New Jerusalem Bible for me now!
The Lord is my Master...Step into a Catholic Church, and you'll see Jesus is the main focus of all we do!
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Go father! Put the boot in! Don't take any crap from these kiddie-fiddling, wife beating, castrated, monkey-evolved gimps!
They're just in it for the little girls and the Brokeback Mountain style "Hunting Trips" anyway...
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
02-12-2008, 09:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HolierThanThou
Go father! Put the boot in! Don't take any crap from these kiddie-fiddling, wife beating, castrated, monkey-evolved gimps!
They're just in it for the little girls and the Brokeback Mountain style "Hunting Trips" anyway...
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I should be careful friend. He'll think you are chasing him.
Cattlick Priests are notorious for chasing young Gay Men on the Internets.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
02-12-2008, 12:35 PM
Hi Friend
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
02-12-2008, 12:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mericristial
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Pal, why don't you make your own thread in the "introductions" section and let us welcome you properly.
Thanks for the link!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
02-12-2008, 12:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mericristial
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I do hope y'all are trying to be helpful, and not spamming. It might be a good idea to do what Pastor Zeke done said and introduce yourself properly.
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Re: Looking for a better wife -
04-21-2008, 12:28 AM
With my recent return, I'd like to resurrect this thread in hopes of hastening my search for a wife. Rumors are spreading about me, and I must prove my Godly devotion. Although women are surely inferior in every way, I'd like to continue making God's soldiers whilst having my dinner made. If you know any young, hardworking, virgins, please send them my way!
Also, thanks for the link. I'm a bit late due to being unable to access the internets from prison, but it's really a fine site and may help me very much! Praise for this gift from God!
"Moreover the word of the LORD came unto me... " Ezekiel 36:16
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