Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
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The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 12:30 AM
Folks, I received an urgent memo from a prominent un-gay spiritual leader. Anyway, he shared his un-gay success story with me and explained that by avoiding certain foods, he was able to overcome his homosexual tendencies. I am very excited for our un-gay friends because this means that all they have to do is watch what they eat and they can become totally heterosexual!
Please help me make a list of foods to avoid for those who struggle with homosexual desires.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 9
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 02:56 AM
That is the most utterly ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
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On Extended Furlough
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 04:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ♣Ace♥
That is the most utterly ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
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Well, why don't you try it and let us know how it works?
Apparently, Ted Haggard was cured in only three weeks with this diet plan!
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 04:57 AM
Definitely needs to be avoided.
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 9
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 05:35 AM
By the way, did this guy happen to, you know, give you an explanation as to how eating/avoiding certain foods can change your sexual preferences? I personally see absolutely no sense logic in that.
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On Extended Furlough
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 06:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ♣Ace♥
By the way, did this guy happen to, you know, give you an explanation as to how eating/avoiding certain foods can change your sexual preferences? I personally see absolutely no sense logic in that.
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I'm guessing you don't know who Ted Haggard is.
I suggest you Google him. Then you will understand why his claim that this diet will cure Homerism (that is, homosexuality) is so powerful.
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 01:29 PM
Is Ace's skepticism genuine, or is he afraid we'll make him stop eating his favorite food?
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 05:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ♣Ace♥
By the way, did this guy happen to, you know, give you an explanation as to how eating/avoiding certain foods can change your sexual preferences? I personally see absolutely no sense logic in that.
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Dick Cheny if a fine example of a hetrosexual American man. Wouldn't you like to be like Mr Cheny friend?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 05:53 PM
There ARE foods which quell queers.
RAW breakfast table bounties are the first in focus.
Important: don't mix antifaggot foods with any sort of fruit or juice;
no milk nor cream, etc. Tomato, too, is fruit. Avoid vegetables and flowers,
otherwise, this is good for a beginning.
But, it is a weaning process.
The tomato and fey flowers are the next to go, Future Average Joe
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Dick Cheny if a fine example of a hetrosexual American man. Wouldn't you like to be like Mr Cheny friend?
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Mr. Cheney made new news again;
seems that they're in to get him;
in the leg, lung, heart or brain;
Cheney is the target of Democratic
clots. He beats them all with -----
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Christ's Love Messenger
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 06:18 PM
Maybe we should give them a diet of chipotle paste directly in their colons and see how long they wanna be gay for. Goddamn homers; they make me puke.
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 9
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 09:43 PM
Well, I'm just wondering. Most of the things I hear on the internet are phony, just have to be sure. Just for the record, I don't like donuts that much.
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On Extended Furlough
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-06-2007, 10:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ♣Ace♥
Well, I'm just wondering. Most of the things I hear on the internet are phony, just have to be sure. Just for the record, I don't like donuts that much.
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Well, Ted Haggard is very real, and was very really cured of his Homerism in only three weeks!
See, right here: http://www.denverpost.com/colleges/ci_5164921
Last edited by OnYourKnees; 03-06-2007 at 10:29 PM.
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CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
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Posts: 212
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Transsexual, Transylvania
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-07-2007, 03:33 AM
Let me see if I got this "straight" loves. If gay people avoid cucumbers, hot dogs, weiners, squash, carrots, and such elongated food items then their sexual preference will change. Right?
LMAO that IS the most IGNORANT bunch of GARBAGE I have ever read anywhere! And if you believe this diet-homosexuality link is real, well loves, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn for sale. Anybody interested?
snicker...snicker.....
"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."
"Don't dream it...BE IT!"
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On Extended Furlough
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-07-2007, 03:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy
Let me see if I got this "straight" loves. If gay people avoid cucumbers, hot dogs, weiners, squash, carrots, and such elongated food items then their sexual preference will change. Right?
LMAO that IS the most IGNORANT bunch of GARBAGE I have ever read anywhere! And if you believe this diet-homosexuality link is real, well loves, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn for sale. Anybody interested?
snicker...snicker.....
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See, you're still eating the Snickers bars. There's your problem.
Wait, are you calling Ted Haggard a LIAR?!
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-07-2007, 05:08 AM
Not necessarily. Mostly he's just calling you all gullible fools, I mean suckerstrusting people. Head's up: the Eiffel Tower is for sale, too. 'Parently France is in major debt and needs the money from the sale to bring itself out of the red. Any takers?
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-07-2007, 12:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undecided
Not necessarily. Mostly he's just calling you all gullible fools, I mean suckerstrusting people. Head's up: the Eiffel Tower is for sale, too. 'Parently France is in major debt and needs the money from the sale to bring itself out of the red. Any takers?
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Are restaurant leases and other concessions included? It's worth looking into either way!
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-07-2007, 01:51 PM
For all you "doubting thomasses" a sample menu for an Un-gay man.
Raw oysters on the half shell and Budweisser till she looks good.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Former Demoncrat, moving towards the Light.
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Posts: 146
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Location: Bringing salvation to Canada
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-07-2007, 03:36 PM
I'd say that the anti-meat, pro-vegetable agenda has caused a surge in homerism. Secular nutritionists condemn Godly meals such as bacon and eggs and a nice steak, claiming it causes "heart disease" and "colon cancer", hogwash!
True Christians™ know that God is responsible for sickness and disease, as a punishment for sin and depravity. I'm always sure to put extra salt on my bacon!
Bush/Halliburton '08-Rapture!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-07-2007, 06:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BornAgain
I'd say that the anti-meat, pro-vegetable agenda has caused a surge in homerism. Secular nutritionists condemn Godly meals such as bacon and eggs and a nice steak, claiming it causes "heart disease" and "colon cancer", hogwash!
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And scaring people away from eating meat causes a direct rise in soya consumption! I think you could be onto something here.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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