[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I have had some concerns about the standard of visiting pastors. If God's vaults are to be filled for the Glory of those in Need, then the quality of the Pastor must surely be a key factor. It has been all too common to accept almost anyone who writes a reasonably grammatical letter or who has been recommended by word of mouth. This is going to have to stop.

The absolute minimum standard will have to include an interview over Skpye or something similar. You know the only "Rules" I like to impose are the Ten Commandments, but I have little choice here.

This guy preached earlier this month. The result was 2 heart-attacks, 18 cases of instant and copius double incontinence, one miscarriage and a brain hemorrhage. And all before the collection was taken.

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Last month, we had two problems. This guy was the first:

This guy who should never have been allowed to preach from Jeremiah to "The Little Lambs of Jesus" group. The Lord knows not one of them is over 8 years old, and now not one on them can sleep and not one is devoid of some neurosis. Landover's expensive Jew lawyers are now fighting of various cases of damages.

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The other one was this abomination.

I should have guessed when he asked for "special rights" to have the lectern reduces to a height of 2 foot. In my defense, I will say that I thought he was going to give a sermon on the new-born Jesus preaching to the Wise men and shepherds.

Anyhoo, you see the room - all but empty, and those who were there were divided into those who were too horrified to move and those who stayed for a disappointing freak show.

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The worst case was in April - look at this!

Oh, he looks as if he might inspire some of the more "motherly" women, but you were not there, and I was. His voice was squeaky and grating, he misquoted God's Words such that

"Ge:22:3: And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him,"

came out as

Ge:22:3: And Abraham rose early in the morning, and paddled his ass, and took two of his young men up him,

Women fainted, a couple of men looked embarrassed and the boy-preacher defecated.


A little forethought is all I ask!