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Why is there never a mohammed on toast? -
08-25-2014, 02:24 PM
I just wonder why we always see the image of Jesus on toasted toasts and all that but never a mohammed? Pretty much tells that this mohammed was just a lying desert pirate.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-25-2014, 02:29 PM
I thought Muhammad was like that demon from The Ring. If you see him, he kills you.
You're probably right Mo doesn't appear on toast as much a Jesus does. And when our wonderful loving savior Jesus Christ appears on toast, it is to bring a message of hope and wonder. When Mo appears on toast, you know you are eating your last meal.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-25-2014, 02:46 PM
I think that this thread is of utmost importance and significance. Appearances on food are one of the things that cannot be faked. They thus provide heathens and atheists definite proof about God and Sweet Jesus.
Of course, Jesus as much as told us this would happen!
Luke 4:37
And the fame of him went out into every place of the country round about.
Is there a better way to spread fame?!
Look at this. A regular candy bar, but deep inside there is Sweet Jesus ready to make an appearance!
But, Brethren, be careful. This method of communication is not totally alien to Satan. Many of his desciples have also appeared on foodstuff. Remain vigilant!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-25-2014, 02:50 PM
It just proves Mohammed is a fairy tale parents tell their children to scare them into behaving properly. Completely different from Christianity where we know for a fact that we will burn for all eternity if we misbehave.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-25-2014, 02:58 PM
Even if Mohamet did show up on a piece of bread I toasted, I would slap some ham on there and wash it down with an Old Milwaukee.
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-26-2014, 12:42 AM
I once saw the spitting image of mohammed on a soiled pair of skivvies. I should have snapped a pic...
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-26-2014, 12:56 AM
In Freehold, ALL toasters produce Jesus Toast.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-26-2014, 01:36 AM
Probably because the bakers don't want to get beheaded.
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-26-2014, 08:57 AM
Just supposing Muhammad even was some sort of prophet, and supposing he did appear on a piece of toast, whoever made that toast would never dare to admit it because it would fall foul of their aniconism rules.
Also, their bread is too big to fit in a toaster - and where would you even plug in a toaster here?
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
08-26-2014, 11:36 AM
If Mo's image were ever to appear on a piece of toast, we would know it to be photoshopped. I mean, what toaster could produce this image? It has to be photoshopped.
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
09-01-2014, 07:37 AM
If he showed up on my toast, I wouldn't eat it! It would probably taste like swarthy terrorist sweat and camel dung! Puuuuuu!!
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
09-01-2014, 06:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
I once saw the spitting image of mohammed on a soiled pair of skivvies. I should have snapped a pic...
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AMEN, Brother! Jesus is EVERYWHERE! He LOVES to show us He cares!
He shows up in lids:
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in mold on the walls:
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There is nowhere our LORD cannot be found by those who seek in earnest!
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Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
09-01-2014, 06:52 PM
I bet our galaxy has also the face of Jesus!
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toasts? -
09-02-2014, 06:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
But, Brethren, be careful. This method of communication is not totally alien to Satan. Many of his desciples have also appeared on foodstuff. Remain vigilant!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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Good point, Brother. False gods and other demons have appeared on food before. One example is the "Blessed Virgin," which is a demon's drag impersonation of Mary the mother of Jesus:
More fashionable demons also make appearances on food:
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toast? -
09-04-2014, 07:21 PM
Since only God can produce a true miracle, whenever Satan tries to bend the toasting process to his will, any image of Mohamed is converted to that of a dog, or a soft headed person with disunited eyes.
Except in California. I believe God has given up on California, due to multi-culturalism and medical marijuana.
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toast? -
09-04-2014, 09:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
I just wonder why we always see the image of Jesus on toasted toasts and all that but never a mohammed? Pretty much tells that this mohammed was just a lying desert pirate.
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Don't be silly, Mohammed is a dubiously historical character who is mostly mythology built up by centuries of partisans pushing there own agenda. As you can clearly see Mohammed is NOTHING like Jesus, so that's why Mohammed is a no show on when it comes to toast (yes, even dark toast)
See below for an example of a TRUE™ miracle.
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toast? -
09-05-2014, 02:21 AM
I was able to locate a piece of toast with the face of Muhammad, Peas be upon him, using Google. I was also able to find the face of Muhammad Ali through the same search. I don't know if there is a connection between boxers and pedophile prophets; being a woman, it is not in my ability to discern such things.
One thing of which I am certain: only the LORD JESUS has the ability to make His Face to appear in unusual places. If the non-prophet of the islamists shows his face, it is because of demonic involvement and the object should immediately be incinerated while offering prayers to the Most High God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, and Ronald Reagan.
Praise Him,
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toast? -
09-05-2014, 03:38 AM
Don't the Ayerabs forbid depictions of their false prophet? So even if Moe Hamhead did pop up on a Pop-Tart, everybody would think it was that guy who works at the 7-11.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toast? -
09-05-2014, 12:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Don't be silly, Mohammed is a dubiously historical character who is mostly mythology built up by centuries of partisans pushing there own agenda. As you can clearly see Mohammed is NOTHING like Jesus, so that's why Mohammed is a no show on when it comes to toast (yes, even dark toast)
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Indeed, Brother. Even if Moe-ham-head (prepubescent bride under him) existed, he was a deranged and delusional man who hallucinated visits from supernatural beings. Praise God that we follow Our Lord Jesus Christ instead.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Why is there never a mohammed on toast? -
12-25-2014, 06:01 PM
Because his followers would behead the one who finds it if he is not in Hell.
Revelation 19:15 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God."
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