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Default Pastor's Easter Sermon - 03-25-2008, 03:54 AM

How Do Folks Get Saved If They Are Not Permitted to Attend Our Church?
Unsaved Unwelcome, Even on Easter Sunday!


If an unsaved person thinks they can spend the whole year having fun at God's expense and tiptoe into our Bible believing church on Easter Sunday morning thinking that everything is just a-ok with Jesus, they are in for a big surprise! If our Deacons don't smack 'em upside their hell bound heads, they'll at least call the police and have them arrested for trespassing and trying to break an entering into God's Holy House! Praise Jesus! Friends, You and I both know that modernism has crept into almost every single church in this country except for ours. We put our foot down in 1952 and said NO! to the foolish modern idea of allowing the enemies of the cross - the unsaved - to fellowship with us. It's unbiblical, anti-Christian, and downright dangerous to allow unsaved people into God's house. God doesn't allow it in Heaven, and as it is in Heaven, SO BE IT ON EARTH! Amen!"

You folks know that there is usually a barrage of unsaved people who just happen to have a change of heart on Easter Sunday or Christmas Eve. Millions of them try to hippety-hop under the radar through the front doors of America's churches, thinking we won't notice. Well, I've got to tell you good folks, I find it laughable that these disgusting people start feeling guilty around Easter and Christmas. They should be feel guilt every single day of the year, every hour, every minute, every second of their lives! Because they are worthless, wretched sinners! Enemies of this church, and working full time for Satan. I don't know how many times I've got to say it folks, church is a members only club! If you didn't sell your soul to Jesus for a ticket, you will be turned away at the door! Praise the sweet name of Jesus! We're all soaked from head to toe in His sweet blood!

As it stands now, if a person gets saved and wants to attend Landover Baptist, there is a 3-year waiting list. Every church service is completely booked. Kathryn Hargraves, manager of the Landover Baptist Tickets for Tithe Center says we're sold out! Sold out for Jesus! All seven chapels, all four Sunday services, all Wednesday evening services, everything - is SOLD OUT! Mrs. Hargraves also informed me that the waiting list to see me walk up to this pulpit and yap away at you folks for 3-hours every Sunday morning is booked solid with standing room only for 7-years. It ain't my looks folks, although some of you ladies there in the front row might beg to differ - it's the Lord Jesus that makes me so popular. And I give Him the glory, and thank him always for the priviledge to get up here and speak to my people each Sunday and to drive off to minister in my Mercedes after each service is over! (audience laughs). Do you folks realise the statistics here? I'm told there are 4-thousand seats, 350 folding chairs, two-hundred standing room spaces in the back, and the 2-thousand parking spaces for the jumbo-tron outdoor chapel where this service is being broadcast as I speak before you now." Mrs. Hargraves told me that it would be almost humanly impossible for an unsaved person to attend church at any of our Landover Baptist facilities. Even if they got saved today, they would have to go through the 2-year background check, and complete all of the mandatory paperwork (which could take another year) and by that time, we anticipate that services will be booked out for another 10-years, so they would have to become a member somewhere else, unless they decided to enter our home-churching program and wait out the time. Certainly, the Council of Deacons has made acceptations in the past for dignitaries and recently saved persons making large tax-deductible donations to this church. But these rare exceptions are all dependent on a person's importance and financial standing, or on being at the right place, at the right time - or knowing someone on the Council of Deacons.

Folks, I'm going to have our webmaster put this sermon up on landoverbaptist.org. Why don't ya'll reach down under your butts and grab that piece of paper you're sitting on. See that? This is a quick and easy way of answering sissy, fake Christians when they judge you just because you attend a Church that follows God's rules. Take this home with you - and I'll have them post it on the web site as well.

Let's open our hymnals to page 265 and begin singing from the third stanza...


Quote:
How Do People Get Saved if They Are Not Allowed to Attend Church?

It never ceases to amaze us the number of so-called "Christians" ask us this question. If they would only blow the dust off of their Bibles and put their noses into the 16th Chapter of Mark, they would find that Jesus commands us to evangelize the world! He didn't say, "find a comfortable pew each Sunday morning and cross your fingers in hopes that some unsaved piece of human refuse will walk through the doors of your church." No, he said, ""Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel." That word, "go" there is a verb. And for those of you illiterate, misguided Christians who allow unsaved people through the doors of your church each Sunday morning, a verb is an "action word," and "go" means "GO!" as in "leave," or "SCRAM!" It doesn't mean, sit on your hiney! The only place for evangelism is outside the confines of the Lord's four-walled holy dwelling place. God's home is a place for True Christians™ to fellowship. Allowing an unsaved person into church is like President George W. Bush inviting members of Al-Qadea into the Oval Office to sit in on a meeting to discuss ways of capturing Osama bin Laden. It's something you JUST DON'T DO! PERIOD!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Dr. Otto Bond Sr. Dr. Otto Bond Sr. is offline
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Default Re: Pastor's Easter Sermon - 03-25-2008, 10:01 PM

A wonderful sermon! Praise!
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Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

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Default Re: Pastor's Easter Sermon - 03-29-2008, 12:12 AM

I haven't felt so good in years. I have experienced the Balm of Gilead!





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Pastor's Easter Sermon - 03-25-2014, 04:58 AM

GLORY!!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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