HOME WELCOME! FORUMS Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read
Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page Landover Baptist Church official "Slaves Obey Your Masters" slave auction.. In time for Christmas!!
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Larry Lee's Avatar
Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither Saved 10 Years Real American™ Ribfest '02 Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Asked questions later

 
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Landover Baptist Church official "Slaves Obey Your Masters" slave auction.. In time for Christmas!! - 12-19-2016, 04:30 PM
My fellow True Christians, your deacons have been working double time, in consultation with our President's transition team, to sponsor the first Biblically correct slave auction this country will have enjoyed in many years. Hallelujah. The niggers for sale (along with a couple Mexicans) will be available for your inspection in the church parking lot until noon this morning. Then the auction begins. Many of you are aware of how much trouble this has been for the deacons, who so wanted to offer you Sasha Obama as a choice lot. Unfortunately, the Sidwell School officials ignored our petition for enslavement. They didn't turn the female over, and now Secretary of Education DeVos has been informed. She'll know what to do with the (former, ha!) school's Mr. Dalmouth (774 Fenton Street, Silver Spring, MD 20910, 301-589-6660) and Mr. Connor (531 Elden Street, Reston, VA 20170, 703-437-0006). Anyway, bucks and bitches will be available for bidding, all of them freshly harvested from the Northern Virginia area and brought to Landover for this auction. I know this is a Godly event you won't want to miss... And if you go home with a new garage boy, then congratulations to you!

Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Landover Baptist Church official "Slaves Obey Your Masters" slave auction.. In time for Christmas!! - 12-20-2016, 12:10 AM
What a thrilling and energetic morning that was! Whew! I'm just about worn out! I will say, I was surprised at the spunk coming from some of those young wenches. You'd think they'd figure out not to bite the hand that feeds them. Anyway, I couldn't stay long, but I just had to be there for this historic event! I thank God our nation is finally turning back to the Bible for Knowledge and Guidance! First the War on Christmas has been won, and now low cost labor can once again make this nation great! Mr. Etheldred hasn't returned, so he must be busy looking over all the fresh pickin's (and pickaninnies, lol). I wonder if he got us a Christmas present! Oooh, so exciting! I should get ready to give up a corner of the back shed. Hmm, so much to do.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Chili Chemtrail

 
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Landover Baptist Church official "Slaves Obey Your Masters" slave auction.. In time for Christmas!! - 12-20-2016, 08:56 AM
I must say I am not at all happy with the way this turned out. I had no idea the auctioneer would interpret me scratching my nose as me placing bids!

And now I'm told I committed fraud by winning an auction I can't pay for?


Please, can somebody get word to my Jew lawyer? They've locked me up in here with some of the unsold inventory.


Thank you.

WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Michael Hezekiah Esq's Avatar
Michael Hezekiah Esq Michael Hezekiah Esq is offline
Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
 

Christ-Killer Potty mouth Democrat Homer Bleeding heart liebral Sinner Caution - Poster is Crazy Caution - Poster is on Drugs

 
Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Cool Re: Landover Baptist Church official "Slaves Obey Your Masters" slave auction.. In time for Christmas!! - 12-20-2016, 05:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I must say I am not at all happy with the way this turned out. I had no idea the auctioneer would interpret me scratching my nose as me placing bids!

And now I'm told I committed fraud by winning an auction I can't pay for?


Please, can somebody get word to my Jew lawyer? They've locked me up in here with some of the unsold inventory.


Thank you.

I would call me by my proper name, son. I know a lot about you since taking your case about that other matter. And you're free to go. You're welcome.

A half truth is a whole lie.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Chili Chemtrail

 
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Landover Baptist Church official "Slaves Obey Your Masters" slave auction.. In time for Christmas!! - 12-20-2016, 05:18 PM
I meant no offense, my dear, dear friend. I just wasn't sure if these other people knew your name. We tend not to learn the names of non-whites around here.

WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Michael Hezekiah Esq's Avatar
Michael Hezekiah Esq Michael Hezekiah Esq is offline
Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
 

Christ-Killer Potty mouth Democrat Homer Bleeding heart liebral Sinner Caution - Poster is Crazy Caution - Poster is on Drugs

 
Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Cool Re: Landover Baptist Church official "Slaves Obey Your Masters" slave auction.. In time for Christmas!! - 12-20-2016, 05:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I meant no offense, my dear, dear friend. I just wasn't sure if these other people knew your name. We tend not to learn the names of non-whites around here.

On a side note: if anyone asks you about "those pictures", you can safely now say, "What pictures?"


You know the ones from your - um - trip.

A half truth is a whole lie.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved

Send an email to the Senior Pastor - Landover Baptist Church - Top