[Muqtada Al-Amriki]

Hello my friends I want to talk about a problem I observe with many Muslim brothers who do not honor teachings in hadiths.

For examples, I am sure you all know Sahih al-Bukhari say when you move your bowel, you are only to wipe with odd number of stones (or pebbles).



Yet many time I observe Muslim brothers looking around guilty while buying toilet paper in stores. Or sometimes they send their wife shopping and force her to buy the toilet paper so they are not humiliate themself.

I ask you, why does a brother wipe after bowel movement with anything other than odd number of stones?

Some may pretend to not understand teaching, but it is right there in Sahih al-Bukhari and very, very, very clear to understand:

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Whoever performs ablution should clean his nose with water by putting the water in it and then blowing it out, and whoever cleans his private parts with stones should do it with odd number of stones."
Sahih Bukhari 1:4:162

Or sometime I talk to a Muslim brother who wiping his behind with stones, but he does not count carefully and he cannot tell me if he wipe with odd or even number!

And then he act like odd or even is not that important! How you can say that when it is right there in hadiths, totally clear?

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle (may piss be upon him) as saying: When anyone wipes himself with pebbles (after answering the call of nature) he must make use of an odd number and when any one of you performs ablution he must snuff in his nose water and then clean it.
Sahih Muslim 2:458

Don't believe me? I got my backup right here:

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah (way peace he upon him) said: When anyone performs ablution he must clean his nose and when anyone wipes himself with pebbles (after answering the call of nature) he must do that odd number of times.
Sahih Muslim 2:460

Still not convince? Maybe because you do not study hadiths! How you can say this does not say what it says?

Jabir b. 'Abdullah reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah (may piss be upon him) say: When anyone wipes himself with pebbles (after answering the call of nature) he should do this odd number of times.
Sahih Muslim 2:463

Everything you have to know about going to bathroom is RIGHT THERE and easy to learn!

Anybody from Landover Baptist Church, please tell me, how you can handle somebody when they CHOOSE to be ignorant of teaching from holy prophets of God, may peace be upon them?



Also, what about the man who stand up to pee instead of sitting down, even though Sahih al-Bukhari very clearly say to sit down when you pee every single time?


Ah, but that is another topic for another day, yes? I get tired if I cover too many topic at one time.

[Faith_Machine]

Wait, do what now?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Who the Sam Hill is Sahih al-Bukhar?

Some kind of terrorist?

YIC

[Alvin Moss]

What period of time must pass before the stones are used again? Is there a procedure to prevent premature reuse? Is there a penalty for early reuse? How can you tell that the stone has been used once the hot sun of Araby bleaches the dung on the stone?

[Grandma]

Terrorists don't use anything! Everybody knows that.

[Nobar King]

I'm only using them once. Who knows if they're even sterile?

[Muqtada Al-Amriki]

Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles

Who the Sam Hill is Sahih al-Bukhar?

Some kind of terrorist?

YIC

Thank you my friend, the question is "what," not "who." It is a collection of hadiths. It is very good teachings for to know how to live Halal. Here is a link if you would like to know more:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sahih_al-Bukhari

[Zechariah Smyth]

Originally Posted by Muqtada Al-Amriki

Thank you my friend, the question is "what," not "who." It is a collection of hadiths. It is very good teachings for to know how to live Halal. Here is a link if you would like to know more:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sahih_al-Bukhari

Well, whoever he is he wipes his butt with stones and that's retarded.

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Muqtada Al-Amriki

...It is a collection of hadiths. It is very good teachings for to know how to live Halal...

Hi, Mook. So what you're saying (re: the hadiths) is that you not only have to live by what someone said Mo said and bothered to slap together in the Koran, but you also have to obey what someone else said someone else said someone else said someone else said someone else said (accounting for the near-200 year lapse before this stuff was even written down) Mo said.

So what do you do when the hadiths contradict each other, as they do? If one says "A" and another "B", they can't both be sahih.

[Alvin Moss]

Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth

Well, whoever he is he wipes his butt with stones and that's retarded.

I also have some difficulty in understanding why a man would use a rock to attend to his cleaning needs. Leaves or grass would make a good emergency alternative. The Lord has said nothing about using rocks.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Alvin Moss

I also have some difficulty in understanding why a man would use a rock to attend to his cleaning needs. Leaves or grass would make a good emergency alternative. The Lord has said nothing about using rocks.

I know, right? Makes you wonder if they use tree bark to blow their noses, and salt to get rid of splinters. How they have managed to survive one generation after the other is a mystery.

[I Man Rastafari]

I myself first used toilet paper at the age of eight years when I first went to the Methodist School in Tivoli Gardens which is a garrison of my home city of Kingston Jamaica. It is not widely used by Black people and I found it unusual. The Methodists insisted on it's use and I have become quite fond of it. It is probably the most important development of western civilization. It is my belief that this toilet paper is the proof that western civilization which will soon be under the control of the Black man will be victorious in this great conflict with the Muslims. How could the Muslims who use rocks to wipe after the pooping possibly hope to best a civilization so advanced that they have an entire industry devoted to making toilet paper? The Black man will have to have this paper when we return to Africa.

[Elmer G. White]

Mr. Muqtada,

If you wish to get into the bottom of this issue, you must look beyond your comfort zone of False Teachings, i.e., Muslimism, and consider alternative hypotheses like a Creation Scientist. Indeed, there is an explantion that is so elegant and yet comforting that it gives me hope. Maybe there is enough time for some Muslims to Repent and accept Jesus before the incidents depicted in Revelation start to unfold.

Sodomy.

It is quite possible that this stone-wiping habit is simply a method to avoid homersexual conjugal relations that concentrate on the lower intestinal orifice. My proof:

1. Contrary to the belifs of common uneducated peasants, homosexuality is extremely widespread in Islam. The largest Muslim community is in Indonesia. Here in the West and also in your beloved Arabia felix people associate Islam with the Arab culture. This is false. Islam's main support is in Indonesia. And - dear Jesus - Indonesia was the first country to legalize sodomy, in fact, it was never forbidden there. This means that since it was recolonized after the Flood, there was also an immediate colonization of the large intestine for fornication.

In Indonesia being gay has been legal since, well, forever. No, really, the country never had any legal prohibitions against homosexuality, at least since its founding as a nation. Further, the country has the longest running LGBT organizations in Asia.

2. The Bible tells us that even heathens can sometimes have a gut feeling of God's law:

Romans 2:15
Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another

This could be a case of the Hadith transmission reflecting some kind of tentative understanding of God's stance on sodomy.

3. In the case of sodomy, the anus is the offending body part. If the natural man has some understanding of Jesus' law, he might be able to realize what he has to do to fight the homosexual urge that is - as explained above - the default state in Islam.

Matthew 5:29
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

How to cut out your anus? Remember that we are dealing with uneducated nomads in extreme poverty, stone-age primitive men.

They have only stone tools.

4. Repeated wiping of the orifice with a suitable stone will ultimately produce wounds. Wounds produce scarring. Soon the entry of another man's organ is no longer possible.



We are so lucky to be civilized. We know better. We can pray the gay away. Still, we must feel compassion towards the authors of these hilarious Hadiths, as they knew no better.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Muqtada Al-Amriki]

Mr. Elmer, I think you maybe onto something. Those hadiths I quote are mostly to protect hygiene, but moral hygiene is important too. I much rather have my backside scarred and calloused then to have the nerves down there all sensitive.

Sensitive nerves are Satan's favorite thing on your body because he can make you have a good feeling "down there" and get you to do all kinds of sin!

Much better to toughen up that skin so you are not tempted.

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by Muqtada Al-Amriki

Mr. Elmer, I think you maybe onto something. Those hadiths I quote are mostly to protect hygiene, but moral hygiene is important too. I much rather have my backside scarred and calloused then to have the nerves down there all sensitive.

Sensitive nerves are Satan's favorite thing on your body because he can make you have a good feeling "down there" and get you to do all kinds of sin!

Much better to toughen up that skin so you are not tempted.

Dear Muqtada,

This is all fun and nice but the main issue remains. Please let me elaborate.

The unbeliever looks at your false religion and my True™ and makes a casual observations that they are very similar. He considers God's commandments about hygiene, diet, etc. and sees some things that are shared my your false religion and my True™ one. The stance towards the principal perils of the world are shared by your false religion and my True™ one.

• Opposing sodomy.
• Opposing female emancipation (Genesis 3:6 should warn us) about this.
• Opposing usurpation of Creation Science with the evolutionary heresy.

Hence, the observer looks at these things and determines that your false Muslim-Catholic religion and our True™ one are the same.

They are NOT.

Jesus.



John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

You claim he was a man and a prophet. This makes you an almost hopeless case. Only by believing the perfectly logical matter of God being one yet the Trinity can you be Saved®. Unless you choose Jesus, you are by definition (Psalms 14:1) unable to produce True™ words or good deeds. The commandments may be quite similar but Jesus must be added to the equation. Even if you refrain from performing the act of sodomy with another man, you are still a sorry sodomite unless you choose Jesus, because if you commit the sin of neglecting Him, you have also committed all other imaginable sins and this includes sodomy. Please, Dear Friend, stop sodomizing the colons of your fellow unbelievers. Come to Jesus!

James 2:10
For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Thomas Taylor]

Exodus 32:4 And hee receiued them at their hand, and fashioned it with a grauing toole, after hee had made it a molten calfe: and they said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee vp out of the land of Egypt.

[Thomas Taylor]

Listen Mucker. Just cause you wear a towel and a dress does not make you a man(?) of God. Piety would suit you better. Do you have a vest to wear?
By the way, Halal slaughter is cruel and unusual. Why not use a rifle like normal folks.


This is the fate of Mecca:


Joshua 10:10
And the Lord discomfited them before Israel, and slewe them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way that goeth vp to Bethoron, and smote them to Azekah and vnto Makkedah.