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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Mary Etheldreda! - 06-14-2015, 01:46 AM

Jesus knows what is in your heart, my dear, and I feel certain He is well pleased with its contents, daft though they may be.

Speaking of Mr. Etheldrada, he asked me to inform you that we will be home rather late tonight, so you should hold off on preparing the roast duck until about midnight. Also, he asks that you please make sure the walnuts in his before-dinner salad are candied walnuts.

Apparently last time you forgot, and just put regular walnuts.

PS: He was at Walgreen's when I spoke to him, so I expect he's picking up an extra-special present for your birthday!


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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Mary Etheldreda! - 06-14-2015, 02:55 AM

Praise Christ, my Sister!

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See yourself as God sees you-as a daughter of the King. Toss aside your own insecurities and break out of the mold the media has created for you. You are a princess and in these letters penned from God's perspective, you'll begin to discover just how dear you are to Him-how lovingly created you were to be in fellowship with Him. Walk your faith in confidence again as you find your rightful place as royalty. A Focus on the Family Recommendation.
What a great read, even for women!

In Christ


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Mary Etheldreda! - 06-14-2015, 03:45 AM

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Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
This looks just wonderful, Mr. Porter! It reminds me of the lovely book, The Princess and the Kiss: A Story of God's Gift of Purity. Although I've given my Kiss to Mr. Etheldreda already, my Heart's Kiss belongs to Jesus, and I simply cannot WAIT until my Heavenly Wedding Day!



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Mary Etheldreda! - 06-14-2015, 04:07 AM

Happy birthday, Mrs. Etheldreda! You are a shining light to all women and the unsaved of this world. May Jesus bless you abundantly with many more children, and then take you in His loving arms.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Mary Etheldreda! - 06-14-2015, 04:38 AM

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Happy birthday, Mrs. Etheldreda! You are a shining light to all women and the unsaved of this world. May Jesus bless you abundantly with many more children, and then take you in His loving arms.
Thank you, Mrs. Johnson! That is so kind of you to say! I too pray Jesus blesses me abundantly with many more children, and of course the continued patience to accept the blessings I already have. Some days I swear, I lie down and think He will take me Home that very night, and I smile in anticipation of our Wedding Feast and our True Love being expressed face to face - in a totally spiritual and not physical kind of way because I love Jesus but I don't think of Him like that - but His desire is for me to wake up and spend another day tending to my many blessings, the care of my home, the many needs of Mr. Etheldreda. But it's not a burden. I bear this gift with joy and thanksgiving, even when my flesh is screaming in my back and my IBS acts up just thinking about what to prepare for the evening meal. Thank you, Jesus!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Mary Etheldreda! - 06-15-2015, 02:53 AM

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Thank you, Mrs. Johnson! That is so kind of you to say! I too pray Jesus blesses me abundantly with many more children, and of course the continued patience to accept the blessings I already have. Some days I swear, I lie down and think He will take me Home that very night, and I smile in anticipation of our Wedding Feast and our True Love being expressed face to face - in a totally spiritual and not physical kind of way because I love Jesus but I don't think of Him like that - but His desire is for me to wake up and spend another day tending to my many blessings, the care of my home, the many needs of Mr. Etheldreda. But it's not a burden. I bear this gift with joy and thanksgiving, even when my flesh is screaming in my back and my IBS acts up just thinking about what to prepare for the evening meal. Thank you, Jesus!
Blessed are you for enduring the pain Jesus has blessed you with! I hope the following verses encourage and bless you -- "Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth." Matthew 5:5, "Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." Matthew 5:12, and "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

Yours in Christ,
Sister Elizabeth


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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