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Default Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-16-2016, 07:36 PM

Friends I want to get your thoughts on this. There is problem right now with liberal Muslims trying to corrupt hadith teachings and make you think a man does not have to sit down to pee.

Here is one liberal website where they push this idea a man can just stand up and take his thing out and spray pee everywhere:


Is it haraam to urinate standing up?




Quote:
What is the Shari ruling regarding standing while urinating?
There is a hot debate here regarding this. Wile some claim that it is permissible others claim it is haram. Their argument is that there is a hadith in which Aisha says that whoever tells you that the prophet urinated while standing do not believe him. Please clarify the issue.
Published Date: 2001-02-18

Praise be to Allaah.
It is not haraam for a man to urinate standing up, but it is Sunnah for him to urinate sitting down, because ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “Whoever tells you that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to urinate standing up, do not believe him. He only ever used to urinate sitting down.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, al-Tahaarah, 12; he said, this is the most saheeh report on this topic. It was also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 11). And because this is more concealing, and it reduces the risk of any drops of urine splashing up onto him.


It was narrated from ‘Umar, Ibn ‘Umar and Zayd ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with them) that it is allowed to urinate standing up on the condition that there is no risk of drops of urine splashing onto one’s body or clothes, and that one does not expose one's ‘awrah, because al-Bukhaari and Muslim narrated from Hudhayfah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to a garden belonging to some people, and urinated standing up. There is no contradiction between this and the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), because it is possible that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did that because he was in a place where he was unable to sit down, or he did that to show the people that it is not haraam. This does not contradict the basic principle mentioned by ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urinated sitting down, because it is Sunnah, it is not something waajib (obligatory) which it is forbidden to go against. And Allaah knows best.

Now I hope you wise people of Landover Church can see what is going on here! You can see they think they are clever, and can take advantage of small, small room for doubt, and use that to undermine Islamic teachings on this subject.


You know we have a saying, if you let a camel get his nose under your tent, pretty soon you will have a camel in your tent!


Now compare the above liberal nonsense to what it say on my favorite online fatwa guide:




The ruling on urinating while standing


Quote:
Question:

What is the ruling on a person urinating while standing, is it forbidden or permissible?
Answer:

It is not forbidden for a person to urinate while standing, because it has been authentically reported by al Bukhari and Muslim, on the authority of Huthaifah, may Allah be please with him, that the Prophet (Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) came to the rubbish pit of a people and urinated while standing (al-Bukhari no.226).Permission to urinate standing has also been narrated from Umar, Ali, ibn Umar and Zaid bin Thaabit, may Allah be pleased with them, due to the above mentioned Hadith.
But it is prescribed by the Sunnah for a person to urinate sitting, according to the words of A’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, who said: ‘Whoever told you that the Prophet(Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) urinated standing, do not believe him. He did not urinated except sitting.’ (At-Tirmithi no.12 and an-Nisaa’i no. 29) at-Tirmithi said: ‘This is the best and most correct saying in this matter – also because it is better to guard and protect him from being splashed with his own urine.’

Permanent Committee for Research and Verdicts

Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 2, p36-37, DARUSSALAM.


As you can see, when we follow sound teaching, we understand that NO, just because The Prophet (pe.ace be upon him) maybe went pee in someone's garden while standing up, that does not mean we should pee standing up!


No kind of proper, good, decent man who loves God will pee standing up.

A REAL MAN SITS DOWN TO PEE!




And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood. Isaiah 1:15
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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-16-2016, 08:15 PM

What in Heaven's name are you going on about now, boy?

I can't think of any reason a man would sit down to urinate unless he was very "confused" about his own gender.

Are you confused, boy?


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-16-2016, 08:38 PM

What kind of stupidness is this? If a man can pee standing up, and a woman can't, it's pretty obvious that there is a reason for that.


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-16-2016, 09:02 PM

Muqtada, the answer to your question is that the Bible does not concern itself with such trivial matters as going to the bathroom. It is written with the assumption that the reader has already been potty-trained.


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-16-2016, 09:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Muqtada, the answer to your question is that the Bible does not concern itself with such trivial matters as going to the bathroom. It is written with the assumption that the reader has already been potty-trained.
Ah, that is a very interesting view, my friend, but I think you are mistaken.


For example, why it says in Bible so much about how you must not take a dump inside your own camp? Check it out:


Quote:
Deuteronomy 23:12-14New International Reader's Version (NIRV)

12 Choose a place outside the camp where you can go to the toilet. 13 Keep a shovel among your tools. When you go to the toilet, dig a hole. Then cover up your waste. 14 The Lord your God walks around in your camp. He’s there to keep you safe. He’s also there to hand your enemies over to you. So your camp must be holy. Then he won’t see anything among you that is shameful. He won’t turn away from you.



Now I gotta ask you, if Bible is meant for reader who is smart enough to not crap inside his own home, why it has to tell you don't crap inside your own home?


First thing any child learn in Arab countries is don't go poo in your tent! Go outside and poo somewhere else!


But Bible readers don't know this? So God has to spell it out for you?




No offense intended, my friend, but it sound like prophets who wrote Bible (pe.ace be upon them) maybe did not think too much of readers? Like maybe they thought people who would read Bible might be fools?


And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood. Isaiah 1:15
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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-16-2016, 10:35 PM

So just where does His hangup with basic bodily functions come from, anyway? If He didn't want to see or know about what comes out of us, why didn't He just create us as fusion-powered or something?

And doesn't that Deuteronomy passage imply that His omniscience can be thwarted with a shovel and a bit of dirt?


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-16-2016, 10:51 PM

I often don't even bother to move at all before I pee. After all, my wife has to clean it up. I am sure if I stopped making a mess she would feel useless. So clearly I am providing a little happiness to my wife until the day Jesus finally kills me. I am sure she will be miserable once I go to Heaven.

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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-16-2016, 11:43 PM

Mr Ameriki, how could you even post such a disgusting question where women and children can see? Have you no shame? Are all your people this vile?


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-17-2016, 12:08 AM

As this is a sensitive subject, I have moved this thread to the appropriate men-only sub-forum in order to protect our Sisters in Christ from distress.

As a recovering homosexual, the decision is always difficult and, ultimately, a catch-22.

If I stand as I do my business and empty my bladder, there is substantial (but necessary) penile/hand contact. Not good for any man, but certainly not for the ex-gay. Once the hand grasps the member, thoughts turn to guiding the subsequent erection into another man's brown-eye. For long-time sissies, it is simply learned and rote behavior. Erection, find a rectum and assault.

On the other hand, while sitting is required to do the other type of business and unavoidable for all, unnecessary squatting on a toilet seat presents another problem, as the design of the seat functions as intended. The buttocks are separated and the anus stretched open. Again, this is the exact behavior the ex-gay needs to avoid, since we no longer choose to be queer. A stretched open anus means we are thinking of man-steel to stab it.

Perhaps the best solution would be if public toilets were moved further away from the wall so the recovering fag could simply unzip the fly, let the member hang free and then lean at a slant against the wall and let gravity do the aiming, contact free and still anally clenched.

But nonetheless, I always ask Jesus which position is safest to keep me fag-free and He always answers.


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-17-2016, 12:20 AM

I can see that “and that one does not expose one's ‘awrah,” might be a useful command, however, the Bible approaches the subject more broadly, and uncovering the ‘awrah is a sin if and only if it is done within sight of various close female relatives.

As Christians usually do not piss in front of close relatives, the question of whether urinating standing up is a sin, does not arise.

Except in one case! It is forbidden to piss on someone else’s wall – and to do this you have to be standing up:

1Sa:25:34: For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
1Ki:14:10: Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall
1Ki:21:21: Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall,
2Ki:9:8: For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall,

The Bible does mention defecating De:23:13: And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:

I keep mine in a plastic bag but have only once (at the State Fair) had to use it.





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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-17-2016, 04:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Muqtada Al-Amriki View Post
Friends I want to get your thoughts on this. There is problem right now with liberal Muslims trying to corrupt hadith teachings and make you think a man does not have to sit down to pee.
Last I checked, this was a Christian forum. Did someone leave the door open?


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-17-2016, 04:35 AM

I don't think our swarthy-complexioned friend was really interested in knowing how the Bible, and Christians, address this topic. I think he just asked that question as a pretext for inundating us with Islamist propaganda.


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-17-2016, 05:14 AM

All I can say is that his obtuse, filth-filled ranting about the true meaning of some nonsensical book written by a bunch of professional liars only made me gladder than ever to be a Christian. Glory!


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-17-2016, 05:28 AM

Why do muzzies have an obsession with pissing and golden showers? Every time they mention their Allah, they say 'Piss be upon him'.


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-17-2016, 05:41 AM

How do filthy ragheads sit down on muzzy toilets?



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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-17-2016, 06:27 AM

Hello Landover Baptist Church.

Sometimes I need to sit down when I urinate because I can not keep my balance because when I had my accident it also affected my ears that is where your balance works also before I killed my wife by accident she had some men install padded toilet seats so that is nice especially since she is gone because I do not like it when the seat was warm after she used it I pee a lot.

Thank you.

Rusty


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Default Re: Does Bible say a man can pee standing up? I hope not! - 03-18-2016, 06:16 AM

Jesus likes it when you pee, Rusty. That's why he makes you do it so much.


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