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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 16
Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
07-04-2011, 08:18 AM
Actually unused sperm dies all of the time. So only thing you can do to save your sperm is to kill yourself.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
07-04-2011, 11:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by appletree
Actually unused sperm dies all of the time. So only thing you can do to save your sperm is to kill yourself.
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Because sperm will survive that!? Perhaps you should try to use your brain, it seems rather unused.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
07-05-2011, 01:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by appletree
Actually unused sperm dies all of the time. So only thing you can do to save your sperm is to kill yourself.
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Think of all the POTENTIAL SPERM that would be killed by such an abominable act!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
07-05-2011, 11:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Q
I received one of these via UPS with a snarky note enclosed that read, "Get you some, Rev." Included were illustrated instructions on how to use this satanic device, and I was beyond shocked that it's legal to produce these things! If anything, people should be reduced to shoddy black-market masturbation machines, not have them readily available at your local mom-n-pops!
I've used this filthy "gift" as a demonstration to my youth group about how the Darwinists are attempting to reduce us to animals by encouraging this behavior. Even amidst the snickers I get when describing this Fleshlight, I think I've succeeded in keeping them on the straight and narrow. We've come up with our own twist on the purity rings with the anti-wank pledge gloves:
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I shewed this device to some mocking atheist fools and one of them was heard to say, "That looks hot! I reckon it would be cool [stimulating] to feel those spikes digging into my c*ck while i'm w*nking." They then guffawed and began to accuse me of secretly masturbating with the device when I wasn't being a hypocrite trying to deny my own urges.
How I yearned for God to smite them even at risk of their possible redemption!
Has anyone else been similarly rebuffed by the God-less when trying to help them understand the depths of their depravity and the imminent danger of their damnation in the event of their death on the way home from our meetings? The urge to follow them home and speed them on their way is strong at the moment but I shall pray hard while beating myself with the spiky hand glove in penance while contemplating the suffering of our Lord on the cross.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Oct 2012
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-08-2012, 01:08 PM
Please explain to me how its..."God-less"....to do something 95% of the world does.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-08-2012, 01:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheApe
Please explain to me how its..."God-less"....to do something 95% of the world does.
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Most people are going to Hell. If you would read your Bible instead of fornicating with a piece of plastic you'd know that.
(Matthew 7:14) "Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-08-2012, 02:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheApe
Please explain to me how its..."God-less"....to do something 95% of the world does.
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Friend, it is not the number of people who do things that makes a thing God-less, it is the lack of God in the doing of that thing. Surely you can agree God does not exist in this so-called "toy."
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-08-2012, 02:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheApe
Please explain to me how its..."God-less"....to do something 95% of the world does.
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Genesis 38:9-10
King James Version (KJV)
9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
10 And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.
God has killed men for less.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Praying to monkeys
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-09-2012, 01:01 AM
If you take the time to think about it, you're wrong. If god created the female reproduction system, and 9 out of 10 inseminations don't result in pregnancy, god is the biggest waster of seeds...
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-09-2012, 01:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMcDarwin
If you take the time to think about it, you're wrong. If god created the female reproduction system, and 9 out of 10 inseminations don't result in pregnancy, god is the biggest waster of seeds...
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Why do you blame the female reproductive system for everything? Are you some sort of fag?
God does not hang out at truck stops and ejaculate other men's penises onto the accursed ground. He simply chooses who is worthy of a son, who is worthy of a mere daughter, and who is worthy of a down. He is not "wasting" seed, He is managing it.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-09-2012, 09:29 AM
I put Fleshlight under the same pseudo-straight perversion as love dolls: agalmatophilia. Fleshlights are also popular among furry-fetishist World of Warcraft players, and I have a vague memory fleshlights where bundled with a premium package of World of Warcraft.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Oct 2012
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-09-2012, 12:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Why do you blame the female reproductive system for everything? Are you some sort of fag?
God does not hang out at truck stops and ejaculate other men's penises onto the accursed ground. He simply chooses who is worthy of a son, who is worthy of a mere daughter, and who is worthy of a down. He is not "wasting" seed, He is managing it.
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He wasn't blaming the female reproductive system he was blaming god.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-09-2012, 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMcDarwin
If you take the time to think about it, you're wrong. If god created the female reproduction system, and 9 out of 10 inseminations don't result in pregnancy, god is the biggest waster of seeds...
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That may be true for lesser, unSaved males but I can assure you, for every time I have had to 'do it' to Mrs. Hutchins, she has been with child.
It is not surprising the UnSaved have weak seed and are unable to properly consumate 'the act'.
I have never heard of an instance when a True Christian™ was aroused by Gods Glory where his emission did not create a child in the womb of the female.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 414
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: In the South of the North
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-09-2012, 05:49 PM
Since the seed of the unsaved almost always ends up where it does not belong (in someone’s rectum, inside animals, on the bed sheets, in the pocket of a stranger e t c), it’s no wonder they have a poor child/seed ratio.
Stop whining
(1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
(1 Corinthians 10:10) - Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer
(Psalm 106:25) - But murmured in their tents, And hearkened not unto the voice of the LORD
(Ephesians 4:29) - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-09-2012, 05:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMcDarwin
If you take the time to think about it, you're wrong. If god created the female reproduction system, and 9 out of 10 inseminations don't result in pregnancy, god is the biggest waster of seeds...
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Please show us Biblical sources for these numbers. Secular scientists have a tendency to make all the facts conveniently fit their conclusions.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Fleshlights: The Atheist Conspiracy against God -
10-11-2012, 05:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John North
Since the seed of the unsaved almost always ends up where it does not belong (in someone’s rectum, inside animals, on the bed sheets, in the pocket of a stranger e t c), it’s no wonder they have a poor child/seed ratio.
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That is one of the great dangers of my truck stop ministry, Brother John.
I have learned, long ago, that zip-up pockets on one's jacket are an absolute necessity. You do NOT want to slip your hand into your pocket and find that some gaymo has left his "calling card".
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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