I thank Jesus that I woke up this morning, and for that, I am grateful.
I have come here to seek guidance to escape my, eh, ungodly lifestyle. My belief has dwindled into near nothing, and I am living in the most godly area of the world: Alabama. I feel I have failed the local, godly people around my community by being a complete heathen.
I await the Lord to touch me, and to save me from a flaming eternity in the pits of Hell filled with degenerates, and Muslims. I wish to magnify His name, and make His presence be stronger in my life. I will even install video cameras in my home so that you God-fearing people can see what needs changing in my life, if I need to.
I have made small changes in my life to combat my heathen ways, such as listening to the local gospel station in the car so I can receive Christian wisdom while awkwardly bobbing my head along with others watching me from their car. However, I still have a long way to go.
With that, I bid you pious people a good, God-filled day.