Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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09-18-2006, 01:40 AM
Thank you Brother Mike -- your support is much appreciated. This harlot has been tramping all over the boards trying to propagate her WICKEDAN views. Whether or not she believes in GOD or the devil is of no consequence -- GOD believes in HER. Remember, the HOLY WORD states that "the devils also believe, and tremble." - James 2:19 (KJV1611).
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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Posts: 844
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09-18-2006, 01:42 AM
I do beilieve in God, but not what you beileve in.
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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09-18-2006, 01:43 AM
Then, since we believe in the ONE TRUE GOD™, you are wrong and you admit it. At least you are an HONEST harlot. These days it is hard to find such.
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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Posts: 844
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09-18-2006, 01:46 AM
You are wrong. God is "The All", not some dictator over us. Can't you see? There could be peace, no such thing as Hell, where life is pleasurable, and you have all the lifetimes you want to make up for your mistakes before you join the stars with The All.
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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09-18-2006, 01:49 AM
Blah blah blah. Are you reading out of some crazy sci-fi book like those crazy scientolochinks? I can make stuff up too, but the only TRUTH™ out there is the Bible (1611 KJV, of course). I choose to follow GOD, and as such will be rewarded handsomely in heaven with my own personal mansion, whereas you will spend eternity being poked in the bum-bum by Satan's spiked tallywhacker.
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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09-18-2006, 01:51 AM
No, I'm reading from my mind, you just poke around the Bible being ordered around by God. Theres nothing wrong with God, but somethings wrong when you kill to please him.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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09-18-2006, 01:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
That won't happen cause I DON'T BEILEVE IN SATAN!!! What will happen to me is what I believe.
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Where did you get that nonsense? Did your "docter" tell you that?
Lots of people believe that get-rich-quick pyramid schemes will work or that they can steal pies and not get caught by our Godly police. Obviously, what will happen to them is not at all what they believe. Why should you be any different? Gal. 6:7 says,
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
which is a fair bit different from "What will happen to me is what I believe."
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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09-18-2006, 01:54 AM
Something is wrong when you decide to IGNORE His GODLY EDICTS. We have no say in what God orders -- we are merely here to follow His plan. Your mind is infested with ungodly satan-splooge. Good luck finding a "docter" to fix THAT, harlot.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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09-18-2006, 01:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
No, I'm reading from my mind, you just poke around the Bible being ordered around by God. Theres nothing wrong with God, but somethings wrong when you kill to please him.
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If you read it, that's all the bible is. Directions on how to kill GOD's enemies. So that's what we do.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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Posts: 844
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09-18-2006, 01:58 AM
Well I think its barbaric.
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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09-18-2006, 02:00 AM
We don't CARE what you think, wench. We are not in the habit of listen to WOMEN, especially not HEATHEN women. You are to listen to your BETTERS (ie. men) and obey our orders. Instead you continue to flaunt your "independence" in HIS face -- almost BEGGING to be smoten.
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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Posts: 844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ...
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09-18-2006, 02:02 AM
Are you sure Christainity is the only religon in this world? Think again.
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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09-18-2006, 02:04 AM
When did I say that Christianity is the only religion in this world? It is the only TRUE RELIGION™ in this world! Woman you need to enroll in Landover University for remedial reading classes.
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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Posts: 844
Join Date: Sep 2006
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09-18-2006, 02:06 AM
And I feel bad for those beautiful Christain children of yourswho are living the wrong life.
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
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Posts: 844
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09-18-2006, 02:07 AM
I'm not old enough...
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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09-18-2006, 02:08 AM
Friends, this thread is supposed to be about the venereal disease Hibachi is spreading to American girls. I believe we still have those internment camps from WWII set up in the desert. Maybe Homeland security ought to start filling them up with japs again.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Wretched Unsaved Goth Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
Forum Member
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Posts: 844
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ...
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09-18-2006, 02:10 AM
Maybe we should...
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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09-18-2006, 02:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi
Maybe we should...
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Ixi, you can help us! Go and borrow mommy or daddy's credit card...or more than one if you can....and come back here with the numbers so you can make a BIG love gift to JESUS. Scurry off, now....but hurry back.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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09-18-2006, 02:24 AM
Our LORD JESUS needs all the help he can get to prepare guards and mexi-rican chefs and whatnot for these camps! Remember to tithe ALL that you have, lest Jesus view it as piddling!
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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09-18-2006, 02:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
I have friend who is need help so I am ask for him. my friend is Japanese student in America here and he has get venerial disease (is herpe) from American college girl. if he give money for church is possible jesus make herpe go away? he very desperate and is want try anything. Serious this is for friend so no joke okay.
ps - this NEVER happen in Japan. Japanese woman keep herself clean.
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Simple. Very simple. Get 'your friend' to a vet to get neutered ASAP. There, problem solved.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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