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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Default Mental Help for Democrats? - 10-23-2006, 12:41 PM

I do consider it a mental (and spiritual) illness. And I know how we Christians feel about shrinks . . . but just this once, is there anything we can do? Any suggestions?


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Default Re: Mental Help for Democrats? - 10-23-2006, 04:20 PM

Just calling in the elders of the church to pray over them (James 5:14) won't work, since demon-cretins are by definition unsaved. Perhaps the devil that causes people to be demon-rats (and I believe that only a devil could cause people to adopt such a heinous belief system) is the kind that can be driven out only by prayer and fasting (Matt. 7:21, Mark 9:29). In that case, maybe the Department of Faith can organize pray-and-fast-ins at liberal gathering places.


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Default Re: Mental Help for Democrats? - 10-24-2006, 01:27 PM

This story just in:

Quote:
October 23, 2006
Democrats Suffer Bouts of Optimism, Prozac Sales Plunge
by Scott Ott

Washington, D.C. — With polls showing Republicans could lose control of Congress after the November elections, Capitol Hill physicians have been swamped with Democrats reporting symptoms of optimism, a condition almost unknown among their people.

Eli Lilly, the maker of the anti-depressant drug Prozac, annouced today that sales in the Washington D.C. region have plunged in the weeks since former Rep. Mark Foley, R-FL, stepped down in the wake of scandal involving lurid emails to Congressional pages. And each time CNN announces a new body count plateau for American troops in Iraq, the company said, Prozac sales in the D.C. area dip again.

“Our core customer base in this area is rapidly vanishing,” said an unnamed Lilly spokesman.

“However, longterm prospects for Prozac look bright,” he added, “since optimism is an acute condition among Democrats, not chronic.”

“They’re only optimistic about winning and about power,” he said. “Even if they sweep in November, their view of America’s future will lead them right back to the pharmacist, but this time they’ll have long coat-tails, bringing much of America with them.”

“For the anti-depressant industry,” he added, “a Democrat-controlled Congress means happy days are here again.”


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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