Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Creation Science
Reload this Page Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You.
Creation Science The origins of life and the earth from a creationist (Biblical) perspective.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You. - 02-05-2016, 03:57 PM

Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You.

I feel sure it was Jesus who said “God helps them that help themselves.” And when it comes to sickness, then your first call should not be to God, who is very busy dealing with really important things, but to homeopathy.

Hopmeopathy is based on the sound scientific principle that molecules in water have memories and can thus change their consistency instantly and can be ordered to do exactly what you want them to do.

This principle is demonstrated in the Bible in several passages. The most famous is “Elisha and Case of the Lost Axhead":

2Ki:6:4: So he went with them. And when they came to Jordan, they cut down wood.
2Ki:6:5: But as one was felling a beam, the axe head fell into the water: and he cried, and said, Alas, master! for it was borrowed.
2Ki:6:6: And the man of God said, Where fell it? And he shewed him the place. And he cut down a stick, and cast it in thither; and the iron did swim.

Now, if those of little faith try this, the axhead is not going to float, but it different for those who as spiritually high – the only rational explanations are

(i) the floatingness of the stick influenced the floatingness of the iron axhead or

(ii) that the water in the Jordan, in that spot, took on the specific gravity of mercury, upon which an iron axhead will float.

Bearing in mind we are talking homeopathy, it has to be the latter.

Now, having established the scientific basis, we look to practical uses in the modern world: Do you suffer from AIDS, Cancer, High Blood Pressure, growths in the bowels, scabs, etc?

The simple solution is to get a sample of your illness and put a tiny drop of it in water. The molecules of the evil stuff with then bend the molecules of the water. You then dilute the mixture. Each time that you do this, the molecules of water with memory tell the other molecules how to bend. Do this hundreds of time until all the bad stuff has gone and only the water is filled with molecules with memory.

You now have water with holes in it that are exactly the same shape as the molecules of the bad stuff. You drink this and all the bad stuff is caught in those holes and spaces – all you need then do is relieve yourself in private and all the bad stuff goes down the toilet – You’re cured.

How do we know this works? We’ve tested it on nigras in Africa. Here’s a rap song (with subtitles) that shows how it is a genuine Gift from God.



People with AIDS, Cancer, High Blood Pressure, growths in the bowels, scabs, don’t dance around singing the praises of the Lord, do they? -> They must be cured.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You. - 05-20-2016, 04:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
You now have water with holes in it that are exactly the same shape as the molecules of the bad stuff. You drink this and all the bad stuff is caught in those holes and spaces – all you need then do is relieve yourself in private and all the bad stuff goes down the toilet – You’re cured.

How do we know this works? We’ve tested it on nigras in Africa. Here’s a rap song (with subtitles) that shows how it is a genuine Gift from God.

Amen, Pastor! Recently I've begun to administer some homeopathy remedies to my husband who has recently started losing his hair. I'm not sure if my homeopath has created this remedy with a strand of Mr. Etheldreda's hair, or with a single flake of the dandruff I brought it, but I am confident it will work in time. I am so confident precisely because, as you say, homeopathy is a genuine Gift from God!

I know it a Gift from God because it is a truly miraculous form of alternative medicine! Only a true miracle could inspire the water to remember the important stuff, and ignore the many irrelevant impurities otherwise found in water. If homeopathy weren't truly God-Given, then memories of the contaminants that seep into the ground water, contaminants like road salt, gasoline, pesticides and more, would quickly wreak havoc on the innocent patient's health. Instead, we can trust homeopathy because God designed water to maintain only good memories. It's a miracle!

We know homeopathy is a genuine Gift of God also because while its existence precedes antibiotics, it comprehensively failed to treat infections in the pre-antibiotic era. This could only be due to God not wanting us to know about it at that moment in history. He clearly brought it to our attention in His Perfect Timing, like when antibiotics began to threaten the faith of millions of trusting Christians. Exorcisms have fallen out of favor, and so the Good Lord obviously prepared the way for homeopathy to comfort us. His Timing is no coincidence!

Homeopaths make pills by dropping a water remedy onto a sugar tablet and then drying it. How the information, previously stored in the water, is retained in the pill after the water has evaporated is nothing short of a miracle! This really is amazing when you stop to think about it! Surely there can be no doubt, homeopathy is a beautiful Gift from God! I almost feel the happy negro music in my own blood! How quaint they are, and I glorify God with them!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You. - 05-20-2016, 10:23 AM

Homeopathagists should rejoice that the power of the Lord is behind them!


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved