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Pastor of Praise and Worship A True Christian™ Straight Shooter
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Location: Being led by the Spirit.
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The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
02-19-2012, 07:00 AM
Hey gang,
I'm looking for some volunteers to help me translate the Bible into Ebonics.
I just need you guys to help with whatever random scripture you feel like translating. It doesn't need to be in any particular order. I have a team in place that will help us with putting things into the correct order of the Bible.
The translation is open to civil discussion as well. We want to make this extremely important undertaking to be as accurate as possible, so the coloreds can read their Bible.
It goes without saying that we will either be using the Textus Receptus for our Greek work and the KJV for comparison to English.
You will have the opportunity to touch a darkie's life by speaking to them in their own language.
Adorable aren't they?
I guess I'll start with Matthew 1.
18Yo dis how Jesus be comin into dis world: When he mama Mary was bout to get marryed to this nigga Joseph, before she had even used her coochie on him, bitch was knocked up by God.
19Joe be her man now. I guess they got married even do the bitch was pregnant, find out this ho had da babby humps now. He be thinkn he leave her all quiet like your daddy prolly did.
20 Fore he could do it this 7ft tall cracker came to he dream and say, "Say nigga, get yo drunk ass off the couch and get a job. God tapped dat ass beefo you did. Now deal wit dat shit and raise it fo Him, nigga.
Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.
Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
02-19-2012, 07:10 AM
One of my nigra servants has her little niglettes watching nigra cartoon shows like this one. Maybe it could help?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash, lying false Christian
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-05-2012, 10:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
One of my nigra servants has her little niglettes watching nigra cartoon shows like this one. Maybe it could help?
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That is worse than Little Nigra Bill
Both should be banned from all networks.
Any material posted in this space that is other than KJV Scripture will cause instant banishment. --ADMIN
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-06-2012, 12:47 AM
Bit stretched for time here friends, but my humble addition.
KJV
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Ebonics
1st Timothy 2:12 Bitch please, I be where I be...you gonna the store for colt 45...now shut you hole and make me a sammich to.
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True Christian™
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
02-19-2012, 07:30 AM
John 3:16
Yo, so check it. Ya'll heard about G-diddy? Yea, so, he be all "Son, I give you my only Boo. So you BEST buh-LEE e'rry mothagrabbin' ward that he be spittin', ya gnaw wha' I'm sayin'? Ya'll do that solid fo' me, and you ain't gotsta worry 'bout bein' capped nah mo. Ya'lls eternal, dig?
Your generosity is so great for the darkones, Pastor Sampson. I feel truly blessed to even be considered to contribute to a noble and worthy necessary cause.
And before some atheist piece of human excrement strolls in here calling us bigots, he can drop to his knees and Pray to our Lord and Savior.
1 Corinthians 14:23-25
23 If therefore the whole church be come together into one place, and all speak with tongues, and there come in those that are unlearned, or unbelievers, will they not say that ye are mad?
24 But if all prophesy, and there come in one that believeth not, or one unlearned, he is convinced of all, he is judged of all:
25 And thus are the secrets of his heart made manifest; and so falling down on his face he will worship God, and report that God is in you of a truth.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
02-19-2012, 11:46 PM
Quote:
Deuteronomy 13:13-19
King James Version (KJV)
13Certain men, the children of Belial, are gone out from among you, and have withdrawn the inhabitants of their city, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known;
14Then shalt thou enquire, and make search, and ask diligently; and, behold, if it be truth, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought among you;
15Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword.
16And thou shalt gather all the spoil of it into the midst of the street thereof, and shalt burn with fire the city, and all the spoil thereof every whit, for the LORD thy God: and it shall be an heap for ever; it shall not be built again.
17And there shall cleave nought of the cursed thing to thine hand: that the LORD may turn from the fierceness of his anger, and shew thee mercy, and have compassion upon thee, and multiply thee, as he hath sworn unto thy fathers;
18When thou shalt hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, to keep all his commandments which I command thee this day, to do that which is right in the eyes of the LORD thy God.
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Some busta ass niggaz, the chillun of Belial, done dipped, and spit, "Yo, less pimp us-selves out to dem udda godz, G-spice!"
So den axe aroun' an make sho a dat.
Den take yo gat an bus some hedz! Ice dem AN dey cowz!
Pile up dey dead asses in da screet and buhn it wif fiya.
Don't let dat shit stick to ya.
Do what da Lawd say!
How was that?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
02-20-2012, 03:34 AM
Brothers, this is truly a Godly effort to reach out to the downtrodden and oppressed Negroes, who live in poverty thanks to their "cultural tradition" of rejecting education because it is like "acting white".
But I am afraid that doing it in a vacuum could reduce the effectiveness of the approach. I suggest recruiting expert assistance.
The expert should be: - A full-blooded Negro or Negress
- A prominent figure, known nation-wide
- Eager to ingratiate him or herself to Christians, perhaps before a certain election in November
I am thinking, of course, of Michelle Obama.
She really could stand to improve her image.
Can you imagine her refusing Landover's request that she translate the Bible into Niglish? Er, "Elmobonics", sorry.
I do hate these nonsense words they make up to make lazy, butchered English sound like a 'real dialect' and a 'valid expression of culture'.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
02-20-2012, 11:16 AM
Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman. - 2 Chronicles 15:13...
Yo, any nigga dat don't roll with da LORD, yo, we gonna pop a cap in his ass and we don't give a f*** if dat mofo is a pimp or a hoe.
I truly hope that with all the great personal sacrifices we're making, the coloreds will come to finally understand the Word of GOD.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
02-21-2012, 03:51 AM
Okay, let me try my hand at this....
Big Daddy's Rap (The Lord's Prayer)
Yo, Big Daddy upstairs,
You be chillin
So be yo hood
You be sayin' it, I be doin' it
In this ere hood and yo's
Gimme some eats
And cut me some slack, Blood
So's I be doin' it to dem dat diss me
Don' be pushin' me into no jive
And keep dem crips away
'Cause you always be da man, G,
Straight up
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-01-2012, 06:54 PM
After commenting on Miss Sha-nay-nay 'shofondaquiesha post I felt truly inspired to try to help out on the Ebonics translation:
Leviticus 20:16
And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Leviticus 20:16
an' if yo beotch roll up unto any beast, an' get freaky wit it, you best pop a cap in da’ beotch, an' da' beast: Yo, you bettah kill dem sho 'nuff! Yo they blood best be all ov' tem punks. Tru dat!
-Always Yours In Christ.
Deuteronomy 22:21
21.Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-01-2012, 10:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeshua bar Yusuf
Pastor William,
I believe that God must have filled you with the Holy Spirit to inspire you with this idea.
A while back, I did some missionary work in Africa, and I picked up a little Jive (the native language of the Negro) while I was there. I'm looking forward to helping out with this project.
. . .
I'm happy to continue working on it if you find yourself in need of further translations.
Yours in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Yeshua
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Friend, your Niglish is impeccable! Did you take lessons from Michelle Obama herself?
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Daughter of God
After commenting on Miss Sha-nay-nay 'shofondaquiesha post I felt truly inspired to try to help out on the Ebonics translation:
Leviticus 20:16
And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Leviticus 20:16
an' if yo beotch roll up unto any beast, an' get freaky wit it, you best pop a cap in da’ beotch, an' da' beast: Yo, you bettah kill dem sho 'nuff! Yo they blood best be all ov' tem punks. Tru dat!
-Always Yours In Christ.
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T-DOG, where did you learn to "throw down" like "dat"?
I am inspired to try this translation myself. I have encountered more than one Negro in my Truck Stop Ministry.
KJV John 3:16-20
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Niglish:
16 Big Daddy G, bein warm fo' His niggaz' form, handed ovah Hiz Boyo, so only dems dat believes can get up in His Holy Crib, yo.
17 Cuz G didin' send His Boyo to da hood to bitch 'bout it, but to be savin' y'all like yo momma be savin' at Walmart!
18 Any you niggaz as don't believe in da Boyo is already goin' to Hell! Don' ya'll be cryin', you done chose to not believe so to Hell you be goin'!
Eh, I'm not good at this. T-DOG, can you give it a crack?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-02-2012, 12:34 AM
I think we need some general rules of thumb for this translation. The average e-bon-iks user, isn't able to comprehend complex things. I suggest that we refer to God by one specific e-bon-iks translation only. We are able to understand that "Big Daddy G", "G-dawg", "G-dogg", "Notorious G.O.D", "G", "G-diddy", "Gawd", "God doggy dogg", "Eazy G" are all one in the same, but we need to write for our audience, semi-literal, drug smoking, monkeys.They might think that there is more than one God and end up being Pagans!!!!!!!
Exodus 21:20-21
20And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-02-2012, 02:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Lord's Sword
I think we need some general rules of thumb for this translation. The average e-bon-iks user, isn't able to comprehend complex things. I suggest that we refer to God by one specific e-bon-iks translation only. We are able to understand that "Big Daddy G", "G-dawg", "G-dogg", "Notorious G.O.D", "G", "G-diddy", "Gawd", "God doggy dogg", "Eazy G" are all one in the same, but we need to write for our audience, semi-literal, drug smoking, monkeys.They might think that there is more than one God and end up being Pagans!!!!!!!
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A fair point, though we should remember that the Lord is called by plenty of names in the KJV: LORD, Jehovah, Yahweh, Jealous, God, I Am, Jesus, King of Kings, and many more.
Here's a handy list.
Of course, readers of the KJV might have a somewhat easier time of equating "El-Shaddai", "Elohim", "Adonai", "Jesus", "Lord", and "Jealous" with "God" than the average Ebonics reader.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-02-2012, 02:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Friend, your Niglish is impeccable! Did you take lessons from Michelle Obama herself?
T-DOG, where did you learn to "throw down" like "dat"?
I am inspired to try this translation myself. I have encountered more than one Negro in my Truck Stop Ministry.
KJV John 3:16-20
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Niglish:
16 Big Daddy G, bein warm fo' His niggaz' form, handed ovah Hiz Boyo, so only dems dat believes can get up in His Holy Crib, yo.
17 Cuz G didin' send His Boyo to da hood to bitch 'bout it, but to be savin' y'all like yo momma be savin' at Walmart!
18 Any you niggaz as don't believe in da Boyo is already goin' to Hell! Don' ya'll be cryin', you done chose to not believe so to Hell you be goin'!
Eh, I'm not good at this. T-DOG, can you give it a crack?
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I was inspired by the good Lord! After trying to understand the hippity hoppity gibberish Miss LaFonda Sha-nay-nay 'shofondaquiesha was trying to say, is when I truly understood the real need for an Ebonics Bible. So I said a little prayer and asked our loving Savior to bless me and to help translate his good word the KJB 1611 edition to a " special" more " appropriate" Bible that the descendants of Ham would be able to fully understand and grasp.
Did you want me to take a crack at the verses you just translated?
Deuteronomy 22:21
21.Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-02-2012, 03:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Daughter of God
I was inspired by the good Lord! After trying to understand the hippity hoppity gibberish Miss LaFonda Sha-nay-nay 'shofondaquiesha was trying to say, is when I truly understood the real need for an Ebonics Bible. So I said a little prayer and asked our loving Savior to bless me and to help translate his good word the KJB 1611 edition to a "special" more "appropriate" Bible that the descendants of Ham would be able to fully understand and grasp.
Did you want me to take a crack at the verses you just translated?
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Yes, please do! You seem to really grasp the poetic, street nature of the Ebonics. It must be a gift of tongues from the Lord!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
03-02-2012, 05:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Yes, please do! You seem to really grasp the poetic, street nature of the Ebonics. It must be a gift of tongues from the Lord!
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I will try my best, but as you know this is quite a tricky language.
I am not quite sure what the Elders decided would be the proper way to address our Lord in Ebonics, so I am open for correction.
KJV John 3:16-18
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
KJV John 3:16-18
16. Cuz God tot thiz whirl waz da’ shit, God went and done give up hiz baby boy, an if all uz foolz know hez da’ shit, he wont cap all our assez, and uz foolz will live a long long azz time.
17.So da’ babyz daddy God sent tat baby to the shitty azz whirl, so uz foolz could have ourz assez up and saved.
18.Da’ nigga that thinkz hez da’ shit, wont get a cap in da’ azz, but da’ nigga dat’ don’t tink hez da’ shit, all already got da’ green light on hiz azz, cuz dat’ nigga iz all messed up cuz he a dumb azz an’ not believe tat hez Godz baby boy.
-Always Yours In christ.
Deuteronomy 22:21
21.Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
Last edited by True Daughter of God; 03-02-2012 at 05:22 AM.
Reason: forgot a word
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
04-18-2014, 03:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
Hey gang,
I'm looking for some volunteers to help me translate the Bible into Ebonics.
I just need you guys to help with whatever random scripture you feel like translating. It doesn't need to be in any particular order. I have a team in place that will help us with putting things into the correct order of the Bible.
The translation is open to civil discussion as well. We want to make this extremely important undertaking to be as accurate as possible, so the coloreds can read their Bible.
It goes without saying that we will either be using the Textus Receptus for our Greek work and the KJV for comparison to English.
You will have the opportunity to touch a darkie's life by speaking to them in their own language.
Adorable aren't they?
I guess I'll start with Matthew 1.
18Yo dis how Jesus be comin into dis world: When he mama Mary was bout to get marryed to this nigga Joseph, before she had even used her coochie on him, bitch was knocked up by God.
19Joe be her man now. I guess they got married even do the bitch was pregnant, find out this ho had da babby humps now. He be thinkn he leave her all quiet like your daddy prolly did.
20 Fore he could do it this 7ft tall cracker came to he dream and say, "Say nigga, get yo drunk ass off the couch and get a job. God tapped dat ass beefo you did. Now deal wit dat shit and raise it fo Him, nigga.
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Dear Pastor, Once this project is done, I would like to purchase a few copies. You see, I live in Richmond, Virginia (which was/is the capital of the Confederacy). My husband and I own several darkies. I think a copy of the Bible in their own language would be a wonderful gift to give them. Please let us know when this project is complete.
Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
04-18-2014, 03:36 AM
I did an internet search and found this. I'm not sure what it is, because I don't speak nigra. But it seems like some sort of prayer.
Ebonics Prayers from the BibleOUR FATHER (BIG DADDY):
Muh Nigga, Dat Be In Heaven, Chillin' Be Thy Name, Yo. I Get Me Some, My Ho' Is Fun, On Foot Toward 7-11. Gimmie Some Loot, Or I'll Shoot You Dead, & Give Out Some Guest Passes, As We Go To Shows, Via The Bus, & Troop Us Not Into Temptation, But Deliver Us From Whitey, WORD!! Again, this is not my translation.
Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
04-18-2014, 03:50 AM
Oh, please disregard my last post. I told one of my nigra house slaves about the ebonics Bible project, and she was so excited. I told her I needed help, so I recited the Lord's Prayer to her. She translated it into ebonics for me.
LORD'S PRAYER (correct version)
Our father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom forever
Amen
EBONICS version titled: Big Daddy's Rap
Yo, Big Daddy upstairs,
You be chillin
So be yo hood
You be sayin' it, I be doin' it
In this ere hood and yo's
Gimme some eats
And cut me some slack, Blood
So's I be doin' it to dem dat diss me
Don' be pushin' me into no jive
And keep dem crips away
'Cause you always be da man,
Straight up
Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: The Ebonics Bible translation project. -
07-23-2015, 02:56 AM
The story of Balaam and his donkey (Numbers 22:26-31), in Ebonics, if you please...
Yo, so this bro of da LOR stood right there in the middle of the road, righ?
They was no way else ta go!
An' when Balaam's ass saw da bro, she done froze.
Balaam was angered somethin awful and beat dat ass! I mean like the Crips beat down the Bloods, know what I'm sayn?
But then da LOR, He gets righteous pissed.
Da LOR give that ass magic powers to say, "Yo Balaam? Whaddup? Whachu doin to me, man?"
And Balaam was one mofo who wan't afraid of a talking animal cause he never did saw Planet of the Apes and so he dint know what messed up shit might be goin' down.
He say, "You be makin' a fool of a brother, man! Dat ain't cool, yo! I pop you righ' in da brain, if'n I had my piece on me!"
And dat ass say, "Nay" (dat's Ass Talk for "Cool yor jets, nigga! You goin bust a vessel you don't calm down! I ain't never been nothing but good ass fo you, man! Shiiit.").
And then da LOR, He slap Balaam upside the head with a Holy 2X4 so he could see the LOR'S Bro standin' there all pissed off shootin' flames outta his eyes n' shit that only the ass could see before.
And Balaam knew he was a bigger ass than that damn beast he was riding.
And he learned that when da LOR talks outta His Ass, a nigga sits up and pays attention!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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