[Larry Lee]

The data are in, and the Jesus thongs are intact!

A new report today issued by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy shows that education programs that focus exclusively on abstinence successfully curb teen sex, whereas comprehensive programs of sex education are interpreted by teens as a command to "let the sap flow". Thank you Godly President Bush for spending millions upon millions of our tax dollars so wisely. Jesus is well pleased.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071107/...re_us/teen_sex

[Mr. Jingles]

I can't wait until he passes the Federal Masturbation Act, which will make the sin of onanism punishable by detention at Gitmo. Praise God for this righteous leader.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Of course it works. Following God's Law always works.

Our Divinely hand-picked President and Congressional Republicans should finish the great work that they have started and write abstinence into the federal criminal code, just as it is in God's criminal code:

Deut. 22:20-21: But if this thing be true, [and the tokens of] virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

In other words, if a woman isn't a virgin on her wedding night, she is guilty until proved innocent of a capital offense. Once our precious children are taught that, they won't pay attention to any of the satanic lies from Planned Parenthood.

[Nobar King]

At least they still fund the abstinance programs. These little brats need SOMEBODY to tell them to keep their pants zipped.