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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default How do I handle this ? - 06-13-2015, 02:15 PM

Hi Folks. I'm over here in Froglandia again and am having trouble with local customs. Problem is I was talking with a Muslim Lady the other day about The Washington Redskins, and even under the head scarf and robes I could see she was kind of hot, so the crux of my problem is this, do Muslims have to wax the dolphin left handed like other unclean practices ? Do you think she or her husband/family would be offended if they knew I flogged the dummy with my right hand thinking of her later that night ? Anxiously awaiting your reply as this left handed thing is kind of awkward for a guy who's been using his right hand since I was 3yrs. old.


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Default Re: How do I handle this ? - 06-14-2015, 06:58 AM

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Originally Posted by Don Bozo el Guapo View Post
Hi Folks. I'm over here in Froglandia again and am having trouble with local customs. Problem is I was talking with a Muslim Lady the other day about The Washington Redskins, and even under the head scarf and robes I could see she was kind of hot, so the crux of my problem is this, do Muslims have to wax the dolphin left handed like other unclean practices ? Do you think she or her husband/family would be offended if they knew I flogged the dummy with my right hand thinking of her later that night ? Anxiously awaiting your reply as this left handed thing is kind of awkward for a guy who's been using his right hand since I was 3yrs. old.
Why don't you ask mohammed when you see him in hell?
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Don Bozo el Guapo Don Bozo el Guapo is offline
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Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Don Bozo el Guapo is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: How do I handle this ? - 06-14-2015, 08:42 AM

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Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Why don't you ask mohammed when you see him in hell?
Thanks for the reply but it really has nothing to do with my present persistent pulsating problem.
BTW are you implying that mohammed was an actual person ? And if so do you think the Great Omnipotent Cosmic Chile Relleno in the sky would bother sending him to hell when he could just leave him in Kamelsazztan for eternity which to my mind would be much worse.


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Default Re: How do I handle this ? - 06-14-2015, 06:47 PM

Welcome back to God's favorite forum, Mr. Guano. Long time no see. Last I hear you were still in solitary confinement in the Tijuana jail. Did you escape again or did you finally drive them crazy enough that they threw you out?

Let me know when you sober up. I still want to get your soul saved for Christ Jesus.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: How do I handle this ? - 06-14-2015, 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Bozo el Guapo View Post
Hi Folks. I'm over here in Froglandia again and am having trouble with local customs. Problem is I was talking with a Muslim Lady the other day about The Washington Redskins, and even under the head scarf and robes I could see she was kind of hot, so the crux of my problem is this, do Muslims have to wax the dolphin left handed like other unclean practices ? Do you think she or her husband/family would be offended if they knew I flogged the dummy with my right hand thinking of her later that night ? Anxiously awaiting your reply as this left handed thing is kind of awkward for a guy who's been using his right hand since I was 3yrs. old.
Matthew 19:12





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: How do I handle this ? - 06-15-2015, 02:58 AM

I know I'm a feeble minded woman, but I simply cannot understand your babbling. Maybe if you read more of your KJV Bible, your writing would get better. And, remember Matthew 7:7


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: How do I handle this ? - 06-15-2015, 11:35 AM

Masturbation at age three is child molestation. I recommend Jesus.


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