Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page Sorta saved says hi
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
sorta saved sorta saved is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: Jun 2009
sorta saved is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Sorta saved says hi - 06-18-2009, 08:06 AM

Hi

My name is jesse, and i have been directed to this site by a joke about it, however i can see noble intent inside the threads. I have two aims here onm this forum. First and foremost is to become closer to god in all things. thgis is the reason for my name you see, i seek to abolish the doubts that linger within my mind.

The second aim, as i stated i was directed to this website by someone making a joke about it. i hope that you will allow me a chance to act as a counterpoint for what my brother, upon reading through, has dubbed "overzealous zealotism".

I look foreward to discussions and such with you all about this most glorious of topics.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
True Christian™ Televangelist
Director of Fundraising and Tithing
On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Tithing Manager Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Teabag Patriot Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Japan Iceland Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Sorta saved says hi - 06-18-2009, 08:10 AM

First off, Jessie, there's no such thing as "sorta saved". You either are you are not.

Second, we don't need any counterpoints. We already have a heathen wiccan, a couple of Papists, a confused tranny, and a racist feminazi bulldyke. Not to mention the hordes of incorrigible trolls that wander into here.

Best for you to change your name to Fully Saved and Fully embrace the Lord Jesus Christ.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Sorta saved says hi - 06-18-2009, 08:10 AM

I hope your third goal is to become more proficient in grammar, spelling and punctuation. God cares about the details, Jesse.

How old are you? What church do you attend? Ever read the Holy Bible?

Tell us about yourself.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
sorta saved sorta saved is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: Jun 2009
sorta saved is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Sorta saved says hi - 06-18-2009, 08:16 AM

Ah yes, im afraid my typesetting isnt the very best in the world. I am accustomed to proofreading my work after submitting and editing over it, however this forum has no edit button. I supose its a good reason to get better.

I am 18 years old, and unfortunatly i do not attend church. As much as i would like to things tend to get in the way alot, i work most nights and through the weekends, and study all day. I ha ve read through the bible several times, however i have a hard time "getting it". It was so much easier at school when it was being explained and interpreted with discussion.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
True Christian™ Televangelist
Director of Fundraising and Tithing
On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Tithing Manager Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Teabag Patriot Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Japan Iceland Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Sorta saved says hi - 06-18-2009, 08:20 AM

Jessie, you are a girl right? At 18 years of age the world can be a very overwhelming, confusing place. I live in California. If you are local, I'd be more than happy to sit down with you in a private location for some one-on-one Bible Study. I promise you I will devote my full attention to you.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
sorta saved sorta saved is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: Jun 2009
sorta saved is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Sorta saved says hi - 06-18-2009, 08:27 AM

Im on the other side of the world im afraid. Brisbane, Australia.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Praise be to God's Avatar
Praise be to God Praise be to God is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 11
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Texas right now, but I'll be moving soon
Praise be to God is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Praise be to God is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Praise be to God is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Sorta saved says hi - 06-18-2009, 08:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sorta saved View Post
Ah yes, im afraid my typesetting isnt the very best in the world. I am accustomed to proofreading my work after submitting and editing over it, however this forum has no edit button. I supose its a good reason to get better.

I am 18 years old, and unfortunatly i do not attend church. As much as i would like to things tend to get in the way alot, i work most nights and through the weekends, and study all day. I ha ve read through the bible several times, however i have a hard time "getting it". It was so much easier at school when it was being explained and interpreted with discussion.
Of course things get in the way when you try to go to church, that's the Devil's dirty, little magic working. The Devil doesn't want you to go to church and will always try to stop you.
If you're having a hard time "getting" the Bible and it's message then you can go to a Bible study group. Make sure you're studying the KJV though, you don't want to "accidently" go to Hell because you picked up the wrong one.
I agree with Rev. Jim Osborne. There's no such thing as "sorta" Saved.


Why is it that the fewer the facts non-believers have, the stronger the opinion?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved