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MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 05-11-2014, 06:54 PM

What more could you want, I ask?

No longer Jewish, but transformed through Christ's sacrifice, this adorable, cuddly, clean, drug and disease free lover of JESUS seeks a suitable companion to provide love, children (Sons ONLY, please), a clean home, hot meals, sewing, mending, delectable desserts and complete submission to God's will (and therefore MY will).

19, 5'11", 240#, winning smile. Masculinity exudes from every pore and oh, the knowledge! Such knowledge you will not find in any other man so young and eligible.

Ask your father to contact me! While I will respond to him promptly, your patience in awaiting my decision IS important, so sit down and be quiet, woman. No trolls, tramps, trannies or ex-lesbians, sorry. Must be able to put up with a mother in law that will hate you for not being Jewish and a father in law that will soon cut me off from my inheritance. But what the hey - we live once, and then eternally with Christ.

FATHERS: Feel free to send me photos of your princess for consideration. One look at my photo will tell you this offer won't last!
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Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 05-11-2014, 09:09 PM

We used to have one who would be just right for you. She was 24 and getting desperate. But we haven't seen her around for a while. Oh yeah - just remembered - she was a bit of a feminazi. Would that bother you?
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 05-11-2014, 09:32 PM

Dear Morton, Yes, you certainly are a catch! I'll put the word out here in Richmond, Virginia with our Baptist friends. And, just a little FYI, I am a former Jew too. So if I can find a nice "Jew for Jesus Princess", that would be great, wouldn't it?!?!


Of course, I must ask (because I can't seem to get this part of the joo out of me), can I see the ring you are offering? Because we all know, that does make a difference sometimes.


Oh no! My husband caught me writing this! I guess I'll be getting a spanking tonight to "beat the joo out of me" again! And on Mother's Day too!


Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 05-18-2014, 05:24 AM

My goodness. At first I thought this was thread was started by one of those "Christian" lesbians!


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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 05-18-2014, 08:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
We used to have one who would be just right for you. She was 24 and getting desperate. But we haven't seen her around for a while. Oh yeah - just remembered - she was a bit of a feminazi. Would that bother you?
The "femi" in feminazi is about the only thing that makes "her" seem remotely like a woman. Her pies have poisoned many. She's been a bit feral lately, I see her lurking around church, planning to kidnap the children that come out after Sunday service. I call the Freehold Police but she's always gone by then. She's a barren maid and rather old, so if you're really desperate, take her but be warned!
On another note, being an ex-joo might limit your chances with the pure, young True Christian ™ girls who are searching for husbands. So if you want a bit of a challenge, by all means, we'll catch her and see if you two can get married.


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 06-03-2014, 10:45 PM

With apologies to Morton for bogarting his thread (may you find the good Christian woman we all know God wants you to have soon!), I hope I may be permitted to point out that I'm in the same boat and ask for any advice you good folks can give.

I have acquired a rather large sum of money and need to find a woman who will bear me heirs without stealing and squandering my fortune on - well - woman stuff.

I know that I have two strikes against me because I live in Boston, where modest Christian women are as hard to find as a two dollar lobster.

Thanks to all.

Wally


Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 06-22-2014, 04:29 AM

I'm single and looking for a good True Christian™ Woman to marry. Where they at????
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 06-22-2014, 04:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bishop View Post
I'm single and looking for a good True Christian™ Woman to marry. Where they at????


How old are you? Where do you live?
I'm a 23 year old woman, looking for a good Christian man to marry. If you want a true Christian. Though, it would be best to find someone else, as an ex-atheist I am far from a true Christian. If you get desperate, or want wait a few years until I have hopefully become a true Christian, let me know and I would love to get to know you
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 06-24-2014, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
My goodness. At first I thought this was thread was started by one of those "Christian" lesbians!
So did I. I came right over to chew her out—rebuke her for polluting our forums with sin. Alas, it was not to be.


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Walter Van Slyke Walter Van Slyke is offline
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 06-25-2014, 03:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kewlcat View Post
I'm a 23 year old woman, looking for a good Christian man to marry.
I am a good Christian man (growing closer to Christ every day!), looking for someone to marry me and bear my sons. I have ample assets to provide my wife with all the cooking and cleaning and child-rearing resources she will ever need. Although you are a bit older than I was hoping for, I might have to adjust my standards a bit as my search has thus far been less than successful. Has the Lord finally answered my prayers?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kewlcat View Post
If you want a true Christian. Though, it would be best to find someone else, as an ex-atheist I am far from a true Christian.
No worries!
Quote:
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
If you can bear to hear it, I can recount for you horrific stories of my life before I met the Lord. And besides,
Quote:
I Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
...so, even if God is not happy with your faith, marry me and you're good!

I need to see a picture, though. I do not think you are a non-Caucasian but one can't be too careful.
Humbly,
Wally


Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 06-25-2014, 03:21 PM

Hello,

I would of love to provide you with a picture, but I would rather not do so on such a public forum. I have had troubles in the past with abiding by 1 Timothy 2:9 and would rather not send a picture of myself where large numbers of people could see it, for fear that I would relapse once again and try to make myself look better than I should worry about. If you are interested, you can email me at

[PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL REMOVED FOR DECENCY]

Yours in Christ

Kat
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 07-03-2014, 05:56 PM

It would be so nice if this True Christian gentleman would find his help meet right now.


At the age of 23 she can still give birth to at least 12 soldiers for Christ! I married at 21 and now i am mother of 9 and half!
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 07-07-2014, 02:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by juliet View Post
It would be so nice if this True Christian gentleman would find his help meet right now.


At the age of 23 she can still give birth to at least 12 soldiers for Christ! I married at 21 and now i am mother of 9 and half!
yes but do not forget your place women ,otherwise you get host
I am also looking for a good woman i am 26




It is so nice to read about how people found their faith in Jesus
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 07-08-2014, 04:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bestman View Post
yes but do not forget your place women ,otherwise you get host
I am also looking for a good woman i am 26




It is so nice to read about how people found their faith in Jesus
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 07-11-2016, 02:35 PM

God is dead
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Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 07-11-2016, 03:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Velokh View Post
God is dead
Don't be silly. I know that my Redeemer lives, because I talked to Him this very morning!


\0/


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Babe in Christ Seeks Babe - 07-14-2016, 12:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Velokh View Post
God is dead
Dear Velokh, welcome to this site. Jesus is not dead, for He resurrected to save our sins. Have you ever read the Bible?? Also, please create an introduction thread in the proper forum so that we may meet you and you can introduce yourself.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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