[Steve]

Re: Manly Jokes

I find this thread disgusting. To joke about the sin of abusing a woman is not righteous. Somehow I don't think God will find these jokes funny. I pray that God works in all of your hearts.

What sin? The man is the woman's boss and if she disobeys him she is sinning. The 'abuse' as you call it, is simply correction.

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord

1st Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

.

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

Instead of coming in here and trying to boss people around, how about telling a joke of your own? One that you feel God would approve of, naturally.

I cannot simply read this and not comment how I feel it is sinful. I promise that I am not trying to boss anyone about and I am sorry you feel that way.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Manly Jokes

I cannot simply read this and not comment how I feel it is sinful. I promise that I am not trying to boss anyone about and I am sorry you feel that way.

That wasn't very funny.

Try again.

[Steve]

Re: Manly Jokes

A few minutes before the services started, the church people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil one. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, unconcerned to the fact that mankind’s enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?” The man replied, “Yep, your Satan.” “Aren’t you afraid of me?” Satan asked. “No, sure ain’t” said the man. “Don’t you realize what I can do to you?” asked Satan. “I know what you can do to me,” replied the old man. “And you’re still not afraid?” asked Satan. “Nope.” A little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren’t you afraid of me?” The man calmly replied, “Well, I’ve been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

What sin? The man is the woman's boss and if she disobeys him she is sinning. The 'abuse' as you call it, is simply correction.

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord

1st Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

.

Correction?? It is not for husbands to correct (abuse!) their wives, they are there to guide and protect their wives. I agree that the head of a woman is man. But just as Christ loved God we should love our wives. Please see 1 Corinthians 13:4 as an explanation of what love is.

Did Jesus ever beat a woman?? No, he prayed with Women. I love my wife, I would NEVER lay a hand on her like that. She sins of course, as do I, because we are ALL sinners. It is God that will punish us, it is God that will 'correct' us. Therefore it IS GOD who we should turn to when we sin.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Manly Jokes

Correction?? It is not for husbands to correct (abuse!) their wives, they are there to guide and protect their wives. I agree that the head of a woman is man. But just as Christ loved God we should love our wives. Please see 1 Corinthians 13:4 as an explanation of what love is.

Did Jesus ever beat a woman?? No, he prayed with Women. I love my wife, I would NEVER lay a hand on her like that. She sins of course, as do I, because we are ALL sinners. It is God that will punish us, it is God that will 'correct' us. Therefore it IS GOD who we should turn to when we sin.

Train up your wife as you wish. She is your wife. You are her master as God is yours. That means you can abandon her to the flames of Hell if you wish, as God has done to the unbelievers and queerosexuals. Nobody is forcing you to beat your wife. But at the same time, who are you to tell another man how he should exercise his divine authority over his own wife?

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

That wasn't very funny.

Try again.

I pray that God will work in your heart. As a Christian we should encourage eachothers faith, not mock it. Just to be clear, that was not an attempt at a joke but a genuine plea from the heart.

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

Train up your wife as you wish. She is your wife. You are her master as God is yours. That means you can abandon her to the flames of Hell if you wish, as God has done to the unbelievers and queerosexuals. Nobody is forcing you to beat your wife. But at the same time, who are you to tell another man how he should exercise his divine authority over his own wife?

Train my wife??? My wife is part of me, and I part of her. We are one body as a married couple, we are both children of God. We both love God and God loves us, we have both accepted Jesus as our saviour and repented our sins. We try to do God's work and therefore we will both enter the kingdom of Heaven. I am explaining how I treat my own wife showing my understanding of the Bible. I of course wish every man to love and respect his wife as the Bible dictates, and so I shall share that, as God also wishes.

Although I am the head of my wife, God is also the head of me and therefore it IS GOD who is the head of us both and so we act to please him. I do not think beating your wife please God. It is not for you to say I am 'condemning my wife to hell'..that is for GOD to decide.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Manly Jokes

Train my wife??? My wife is part of me, and I part of her. We are one body as a married couple, we are both children of God. We both love God and God loves us, we have both accepted Jesus as our saviour and repented our sins. We try to do God's work and therefore we will both enter the kingdom of Heaven. I am explaining how I treat my own wife showing my understanding of the Bible. I of course wish every man to love and respect his wife as the Bible dictates, and so I shall share that, as God also wishes.

Although I am the head of my wife, God is also the head of me and therefore it IS GOD who is the head of us both and so we act to please him. I do not think beating your wife please God. It is not for you to say I am 'condemning my wife to hell'..that is for GOD to decide.

So Ephesians 5:23 means nothing to you?

Ephesians 5:23

King James Version (KJV)

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

It is for God to decide whether the church will enter Heaven. Therefore it is for you to decide whether your wife will enter Heaven. It is axiomatic.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Manly Jokes

Train my wife??? My wife is part of me, and I part of her. We are one body as a married couple, we are both children of God. We both love God and God loves us, we have both accepted Jesus as our saviour and repented our sins. We try to do God's work and therefore we will both enter the kingdom of Heaven. I am explaining how I treat my own wife showing my understanding of the Bible. I of course wish every man to love and respect his wife as the Bible dictates, and so I shall share that, as God also wishes.

Although I am the head of my wife, God is also the head of me and therefore it IS GOD who is the head of us both and so we act to please him. I do not think beating your wife please God. It is not for you to say I am 'condemning my wife to hell'..that is for GOD to decide.

You don't think that you and your wife will be together in heaven do you??

Matthew 22:29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.


YIC


Jack

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

So Ephesians 5:23 means nothing to you?



It is for God to decide whether the church will enter Heaven. Therefore it is for you to decide whether your wife will enter Heaven. It is axiomatic.

Ephesians 5:23 means that I will love and respect my wife as Christ loved and respected God. Christ would not beat God. I disagree that it is my choice whether my wife will enter Heaven, I believe it is ONLY GOD who will make that decision. It is God that knows the heart of my wife and so it is HE that will decide. I will however guide my wife as according to Bible scripture, this guidance will not involve 'correcting/beating/abusing' my wife or however you would like to call it. This guidance will come in the form of discussing the Bible together and praying to God together.

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

You don't think that you and your wife will be together in heaven do you??

Matthew 22:29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.


YIC


Jack

I believe my wife and I will both enter Heaven because we are followers of God, not because we are married. I'm sorry i did not make that clear in my previous post.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Manly Jokes

I believe my wife and I will both enter Heaven because we are followers of God, not because we are married. I'm sorry i did not make that clear in my previous post.

OK, that was better.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Manly Jokes

I believe my wife and I will both enter Heaven because we are followers of God, not because we are married. I'm sorry i did not make that clear in my previous post.

No, I was saying that you will not be together as man and wife in heaven,

YIC

Jack

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

No, I was saying that you will not be together as man and wife in heaven,

YIC

Jack

Yes I agree, I don't believe I said anything contrary to that? I am sorry if I have not been clear and have confused you.