[Larry Lee]

From the earliest days in the Garden of Eden, we learn that God is the greatest wildlife manager there could be. He introduces species into the landscape (such as at the Creation) and removes them the landscape (such as at the Fall and the Flood).

Paul alerts us to God's providence over nature in these words from Colossians (1:16-17):

"For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist."

Man's role in God's creation is that of a managerial underling, one who God charges with "dressing", "keeping" and "freely eating" nature (Genesis 2:15-16) but not with modifying or overstepping God's plan of design (Genesis 2:17).

It is therefore extraordinarily disturbing to learn that the beaver is scheduled for reintroduction to the Scottish countryside. How perverse! How violative of God's intent! How un-Christian.

God Himself removed the beaver from the UK 500 years ago. What right do we have to now try to undo what God has done?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

None whatsoever Brother Larry – none whatsoever! If God wanted beaver to appear in Englandistan he would create a plague of them as he did with frogs in Egypt. Typical of 'scientists so-called', who do things just because they can.


PS Did you know you can eat beaver? I never thought of about myself but Mrs Bathfire seems quite excited at the idea.

[Bob4God]

This is disgusting! If GOD wanted those folks to get beaver, He'd have given it to them Himself.

They're too dumb to know what to do with one anyway. I've never felt one, but I understand they are very warm and soft, and make great gifts if you manage to catch one and get its skin. Beavers love wood, so if you've got a lot of it, you can use it as beaver bait and trap them in your backyard.

[Brother Lazarus]

It's been my experience understanding that British beaver, though easy to catch with the proper wood, go into hibernation in captivity. They are unresponsive when handled and tend to just lay there. Canukistan beaver, on the other hand, while also easily captured tend to be very active when handled. Perhaps this is because it is very cold in Canukistan and Canuk beaver need to be active to keep warm.

I've heard there is a North American breed of beaver known as "The Bald Beaver". Has anyone ever spotted one of those?

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus

I've heard there is a North American breed of beaver known as "The Bald Beaver". Has anyone ever spotted one of those?

No, never have handled a beaver myself. Probably should. When I was married my wife would claim that "I wouldn't know what to do with a beaver if it came up and bit me", I replied why would I go near something with teeth and she just dropped the subject.

If we have wild beaver running about is there somewhere to take a class on it?

[Brother Lazarus]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

No, never have handled a beaver myself. Probably should. When I was married my wife would claim that "I wouldn't know what to do with a beaver if it came up and bit me", I replied why would I go near something with teeth and she just dropped the subject.

If we have wild beaver running about is there somewhere to take a class on it?

I'm no beaver expert but I do hear that they are attracted to both wood and paper money. I don't understand what a beaver would do with $100.00 bills. Perhaps they are attracted to the scent. I have heard that attracting beaver with money is especially effective with the Bald Beaver.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

I, uhm, just searched for british beaver with my Googler. I don't recommend you all do the same.

[Brother Lazarus]

Well it seems some North American Bald Beaver have found their way to Britain! Beaver sure do move around a lot. It seems that God is changing the flat beaver tail into a more rounded version. I wonder what God has planned for the beaver?

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

In the 17th century, the Catholic Church ruled that the beaver was a fish, meaning the ban on eating meat on Fridays didn't include beaver.

...and the mary-worshippers believed it? I'm happy with bats being birds but this is ridiculous.

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus

It's been my experience understanding that British beaver, though easy to catch with the proper wood, go into hibernation in captivity. They are unresponsive when handled and tend to just lay there. Canukistan beaver, on the other hand, while also easily captured tend to be very active when handled. Perhaps this is because it is very cold in Canukistan and Canuk beaver need to be active to keep warm. I can assure you that this observation is entirely correct, although some Canadian beavers are more difficult to capture than others, but you're still right: when they are caught, they are highly responsive, active, and affectionate. This is why Canada is famous for our beavers; Canadian beavers truly make excellent playmates, the best in the world.

I've heard there is a North American breed of beaver known as "The Bald Beaver". Has anyone ever spotted one of those?

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

In answer to your question, Brother, I currently have one in my possession.

[Brother Demonslayer]

As a Brit myself, I feel outraged at this!
Reintroducing the beaver?
All the beaver is good for is eating wood, and I for one, believe it's unGodly and sinful.
Besides, have you seen the teeth on those damnable British Beavers?
Put a gun in their house-hole and blow a load of shot all over them, I say.
It's the only way if those liberals will learn not to mess with the sanctity of God's Nature.

[Brother Lazarus]

Originally Posted by WickedWitch

In answer to your question, Brother, I currently have one in my possession.

Is said beaver tame? I'd hate to see it unleashed and wild.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Brian Dyk]

Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus

I've heard there is a North American breed of beaver known as "The Bald Beaver". Has anyone ever spotted one of those?

I believe that sort of beaver originated in Brazil.

[Bobby-Joe]

Someone told me you could find some good beaver at The Lumberyard in Des Moines. When I look it up on the internet I get some kind of gentlesmen club.

The guy must have been crazy.

[Brother Lazarus]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Someone told me you could find some good beaver at The Lumberyard in Des Moines. When I look it up on the internet I get some kind of gentlesmen club.

The guy must have been crazy.

There is some strange connection, so I've heard, between a beaver and a camel's toe. I didn't think God put beavers and camels in the same place when he created the earth. I think Satan may be playing some sort of joke. Where's the camel? Did the camel conveniently lose a toe in the vicinity of a beaver? Satan's tricks I tell you!

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus

There is some strange connection, so I've heard, between a beaver and a camel's toe. I didn't think God put beavers and camels in the same place when he created the earth. I think Satan may be playing some sort of joke. Where's the camel? Did the camel conveniently lose a toe in the vicinity of a beaver? Satan's tricks I tell you!

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

These secularist are just mad. I got the recommendation from one of the UPS delivery guys, Monty needs a lot of bleach for some reason, and he was one the one who pointed me to the Lumberyard. On the way out I ask him what the heck with this strip joint and he says "Dude, you're never going to find any beaver if you don't stop teabagging with your bros."

What the heck is that supposed to mean? What does anti-socialism protest have to do with beaver? This is starting to make no frapping sense.

[Brother Lazarus]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

These secularist are just mad. I got the recommendation from one of the UPS delivery guys, Monty needs a lot of bleach for some reason, and he was one the one who pointed me to the Lumberyard. On the way out I ask him what the heck with this strip joint and he says "Dude, you're never going to find any beaver if you don't stop teabagging with your bros."

What the heck is that supposed to mean? What does anti-socialism protest have to do with beaver? This is starting to make no frapping sense.

Perhaps teabags are a beaver repellent? That makes as much sense as any of the rest of this.

The UPS guy sounds like a homer. I think it's required to be a homer to be a UPS guy. Be sure you didn't get any AIDS on you!

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus

Perhaps teabags are a beaver repellent? That makes as much sense as any of the rest of this.

The UPS guy sounds like a homer. I think it's required to be a homer to be a UPS guy. Be sure you didn't get any AIDS on you!

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

I might be. Look at the tight little man-shorts they were. Still, the court settlement is very clear when can detain UPS drivers in Freehold. Damn activist judges.

The guy is a complete fruitcake. I asked him if he went to last Wednesday's TeaBabbig Party and he starts snickering and said, "Hey Bro, that's between you and your buds." What is that guy's problem?

[Brother Lazarus]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

I might be. Look at the tight little man-shorts they were. Still, the court settlement is very clear when can detain UPS drivers in Freehold. Damn activist judges.

The guy is a complete fruitcake. I asked him if he went to last Wednesday's TeaBabbig Party and he starts snickering and said, "Hey Bro, that's between you and your buds." What is that guy's problem?

I'm convinced your UPS guy is a homer. He is constantly referring to your relationship with your male friends. Homers enjoy sipping tea with their joy boy friends. He's also calling you "bro". I think he is trying to figure out if you are a butt jockey sodomite. I think your UPS guy is trying to seduce you.

You should fill your bath tub with Pine Sol and soak in it for at least 2 hours. Then you can wash off with a Lysol finish. Hopefully that will kill all the AIDS you may have gotten on you.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus

Is said beaver tame? I'd hate to see it unleashed and wild.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

I don't know if I'd call her tame (she is a wild animal, after all), but she's very friendly. Feeding her is getting to be difficult, though - I just can't seem to find enough wood these days. Her appetite can be voracious at times, you see. I do believe this is to do with her baldness. See, I've also kept the standard breed of beaver, and while they're just as affectionate and active, they don't seem to be quite as excitable as their bald cousins.