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Default Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 09:47 PM

Brethren and Sistern, I received a call today from our Sister Heather at Account Services. You all know what a chipper girl she is -- especially when she calls about those fantastic credit card offers she's got available for a limited time only. She's called me so often I've got her delightfully upbeat script memorized:

Quote:
Hello. This is Heather at Account Services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day.
But woe. Woe, I say. People are ganging up on Sister Heather and refusing to talk with her anymore, ever, at all, NEVER.

Heather was in tears when I spoke with. She was sobbing -- completely inconsolable.

I didn't know what to tell her, but for some insight into what she's up against, check out this website that's been set up against her:



Fact is, Heather's boss -- Ran Barnea -- is threatening to FIRE our Sister!

We can't let that happen. Pray your darnedest for Heather, and then sit right down and let Mr. Barnea know exactly what you think:

Ran David Barnea
American Debt Negotiators
11555 Heron Bay Blvd. Suite 200
Coral Springs, FL 33076


Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 09:55 PM

Heather is so kind. I hear from her so often, along with that nice guy who wants to extend the warranty on my car. You’re right Brother Larry, we need to stand up for Heather.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 10:00 PM

It's plain old persecution, the very same thing that we Christians have to put up with on a daily basis.
I'll draft a letter right away.



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being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 10:06 PM

Heather certainly is a sweet girl and it breaks my heart to see her like this. I'm praying that Jesus will give her strength, and that he will break the will of those cowards who are attacking her.

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Heather is so kind. I hear from her so often, along with that nice guy who wants to extend the warranty on my car.
I wonder if this Brother and Sister are Related, and if they might also be Related to the rather robotic-sounding Family(?) Members who Telephone me about Purchasing a Satellite Dish.

Pastor Bobby-Joe! The Car Warranty Man calls you, too? And there I was wondering if he might have a 'thing' for me because he rings me up so often
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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 10:22 PM

I received numerous messages from Heather and felt bad that I was not around when she called. Then one day I picked up the phone when she called and was delighted that I was able to finally take her call. Well, until I realized that it was just a recording of Heather's voice. So I pressed the appropriate button and I got some flunkie named "Jim". I asked to be connected to Heather and "Jim" suddenly became agitated. He said that Heather was not available at the moment and I replied that I would stay on the line until Heather could take my call. Well lo and behold, the little bastard "Jim" just hung up on me. Imagine that, a company having employees that hang up on you. I can think of someone else that should be fired instead of Heather. I think there should be some kind of inquiry here – Heather is being blamed for something she did not do.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 10:23 PM

What kind of a name is "Ran" anyway? That's almost as stupid and fake-sounding as "Barack" Obama, "Hillary" Clinton, or "Michael" Moore.


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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 10:25 PM

I consider this a free speech issue. Why shouldn't Heather be able to robo call me at the dinner hour with a terrific offer available only for a limited time? I am tickled to death to hear her lovely voice.
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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-08-2008, 10:29 PM

Just another attempt by Big Government to squelch the growth of private enterprises.


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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-09-2008, 04:18 AM

Is this Heather Greenhill who works in the main office? Or is it a different Heather?


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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-09-2008, 04:38 AM

Did anyone else notice the slight Indian accent when they spoke to Heathel lately?

Job 33:13
Why dost thou strive against him? for he giveth not account of any of his matters.


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-09-2008, 10:17 AM

You know, I think It's wonderful that Heather still calls me even after this terrible affair, and she stills sounds so happy.
She's called me regularly for over a year, and even after my Credit Card details have been stolen by some ruthless criminal dozens of times, she still knows that they have replaced my Card and calls to offer me yet another deal.

Thank you Heather



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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-09-2008, 08:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
You know, I think It's wonderful that Heather still calls me even after this terrible affair, and she stills sounds so happy.
She's called me regularly for over a year, and even after my Credit Card details have been stolen by some ruthless criminal dozens of times, she still knows that they have replaced my Card and calls to offer me yet another deal.

Thank you Heather
Ah yes, this must be the Heather who works at CapitalOne. She´s so sweet, always playfully asking people "What do you have in your wallet? She was so nice that she even sent credit card offers to me and all the other inmates at the Happydale Home for the Severely Disturbed, when nobody else would write to us, or even acknowledge our existence.

No doubt that Heather is a True Christian and a good Republican.

Heather, I love you!
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



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- Rush Limbaugh
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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-09-2008, 11:12 PM

Ran sounds like a Muslim name.


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Default Re: Heather at Account Services - 05-10-2008, 12:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
Did anyone else notice the slight Indian accent when they spoke to Heathel lately?
Crucified CHRIST, what have they been doing to this poor Child?!!

I just found out on good Authority that Brother Ahimaaz is experiencing ASS DEMONS
so if this sort of thing could happen to a Godly Brother like him, Truthfully™ it could happen to anyone.

Poor Heather!!!
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