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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 09:47 PM
Brethren and Sistern, I received a call today from our Sister Heather at Account Services. You all know what a chipper girl she is -- especially when she calls about those fantastic credit card offers she's got available for a limited time only. She's called me so often I've got her delightfully upbeat script memorized:
Quote:
Hello. This is Heather at Account Services. And we're calling in reference to your current credit card account. There's no problems currently with your account. It is urgent however that you contact us concerning your eligibility for lowering your interest rate. Your eligibility expires shortly. So please consider this your final notice. Please press one now on your phone to speak with a live operator and lower your interest rate. Or press two to discontinue further notices. Thank you and have a great day.
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But woe. Woe, I say. People are ganging up on Sister Heather and refusing to talk with her anymore, ever, at all, NEVER.
Heather was in tears when I spoke with. She was sobbing -- completely inconsolable.
I didn't know what to tell her, but for some insight into what she's up against, check out this website that's been set up against her:
Fact is, Heather's boss -- Ran Barnea -- is threatening to FIRE our Sister!
We can't let that happen. Pray your darnedest for Heather, and then sit right down and let Mr. Barnea know exactly what you think:
Ran David Barnea
American Debt Negotiators
11555 Heron Bay Blvd. Suite 200
Coral Springs, FL 33076
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 09:55 PM
Heather is so kind. I hear from her so often, along with that nice guy who wants to extend the warranty on my car. You’re right Brother Larry, we need to stand up for Heather.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 10:00 PM
It's plain old persecution, the very same thing that we Christians have to put up with on a daily basis.
I'll draft a letter right away.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Senior Pastor VP of Evangelical Outreach On FIRE for Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,016
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Libertydale, NC
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 10:06 PM
Heather certainly is a sweet girl and it breaks my heart to see her like this. I'm praying that Jesus will give her strength, and that he will break the will of those cowards who are attacking her.
Pastor Billy-Reuben
Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.
✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
#ChristianLivesMatter
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Heather is so kind. I hear from her so often, along with that nice guy who wants to extend the warranty on my car.
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I wonder if this Brother and Sister are Related, and if they might also be Related to the rather robotic-sounding Family(?) Members who Telephone me about Purchasing a Satellite Dish.
Pastor Bobby-Joe! The Car Warranty Man calls you, too? And there I was wondering if he might have a 'thing' for me because he rings me up so often
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 10:22 PM
I received numerous messages from Heather and felt bad that I was not around when she called. Then one day I picked up the phone when she called and was delighted that I was able to finally take her call. Well, until I realized that it was just a recording of Heather's voice. So I pressed the appropriate button and I got some flunkie named "Jim". I asked to be connected to Heather and "Jim" suddenly became agitated. He said that Heather was not available at the moment and I replied that I would stay on the line until Heather could take my call. Well lo and behold, the little bastard "Jim" just hung up on me. Imagine that, a company having employees that hang up on you. I can think of someone else that should be fired instead of Heather. I think there should be some kind of inquiry here – Heather is being blamed for something she did not do.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Christ's Battle Axe
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Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 10:23 PM
What kind of a name is "Ran" anyway? That's almost as stupid and fake-sounding as "Barack" Obama, "Hillary" Clinton, or "Michael" Moore.
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 10:25 PM
I consider this a free speech issue. Why shouldn't Heather be able to robo call me at the dinner hour with a terrific offer available only for a limited time? I am tickled to death to hear her lovely voice.
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Christ's Battle Axe
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Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-08-2008, 10:29 PM
Just another attempt by Big Government to squelch the growth of private enterprises.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-09-2008, 04:18 AM
Is this Heather Greenhill who works in the main office? Or is it a different Heather?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-09-2008, 04:38 AM
Did anyone else notice the slight Indian accent when they spoke to Heathel lately?
Job 33:13
Why dost thou strive against him? for he giveth not account of any of his matters.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-09-2008, 10:17 AM
You know, I think It's wonderful that Heather still calls me even after this terrible affair, and she stills sounds so happy.
She's called me regularly for over a year, and even after my Credit Card details have been stolen by some ruthless criminal dozens of times, she still knows that they have replaced my Card and calls to offer me yet another deal.
Thank you Heather
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 912
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-09-2008, 08:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
You know, I think It's wonderful that Heather still calls me even after this terrible affair, and she stills sounds so happy.
She's called me regularly for over a year, and even after my Credit Card details have been stolen by some ruthless criminal dozens of times, she still knows that they have replaced my Card and calls to offer me yet another deal.
Thank you Heather
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Ah yes, this must be the Heather who works at CapitalOne. She´s so sweet, always playfully asking people "What do you have in your wallet? She was so nice that she even sent credit card offers to me and all the other inmates at the Happydale Home for the Severely Disturbed, when nobody else would write to us, or even acknowledge our existence.
No doubt that Heather is a True Christian and a good Republican.
Heather, I love you!
Buford
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
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Righteous and Patriotic Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-09-2008, 11:12 PM
Ran sounds like a Muslim name.
God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Heather at Account Services -
05-10-2008, 12:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
Did anyone else notice the slight Indian accent when they spoke to Heathel lately?
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Crucified CHRIST, what have they been doing to this poor Child?!!
I just found out on good Authority that Brother Ahimaaz is experiencing ASS DEMONS
so if this sort of thing could happen to a Godly Brother like him, Truthfully™ it could happen to anyone.
Poor Heather!!!
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