Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-14-2015, 05:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Back off, whore.
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"The boy is mine" back off, or "cool your jets" back off?
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-14-2015, 02:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
Well. Ahem. There's, uh... there's really nothing I can say to that...
1) As a sexual health educator and soon-to-be sex therapist, I was speaking to Brother Hutchins in a purely professional capacity.
2) If it wasn't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.
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You people are obsessed with Gods Chosen Method of creating new potential Christians. So many people fail to 'make the grade' and have to be tossed into Hell. To remind us all of the risks we expose these potential souls to, God makes us fornicate and defecate. Even young strapping children have to defecate! He does not make us masturbate. That is the Devil tempting us.
Every ten months (30 days after expressing a progeny) when I have to 'do it' with my wife, Mrs. Hutchins, I am utterly repelled at the vile act of internal physical contact. Punishment for my potential ability to sin.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 582
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Under the watchful eye of my husband
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-14-2015, 02:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
"The boy is mine" back off, or "cool your jets" back off?
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It's a "cool your jets" back off. Pastor Ezekiel and Witch Hammer are both Godly straight men.
And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-14-2015, 06:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B.
It's a "cool your jets" back off. Pastor Ezekiel and Witch Hammer are both Godly straight men.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
I have spent countless hours in heated encounters with Pastor Ezekiel, trying to get a good grip on masturbating.
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Are you sure?
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
<snip>Discussion of scat</snip>
Every ten months (30 days after expressing a progeny) when I have to 'do it' with my wife, Mrs. Hutchins, I am utterly repelled at the vile act of internal physical contact. Punishment for my potential ability to sin.
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That's more of a punishment for Mrs. Hutchins, actually, since it is generally recommended that a woman wait at least 6 weeks after a birth to recommence sexual activity (longer if she had to have stitches or if interventions such as forceps, vacuum, or C-section were required). It is also recommended that a woman wait a minimum of 18 months post-birth to try to conceive again, though 20-24 months is considered ideal; this allows the body enough time to recover and it's better for both the mother and the new baby.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-14-2015, 11:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
Are you sure?
That's more of a punishment for Mrs. Hutchins, actually, since it is generally recommended that a woman wait at least 6 weeks after a birth to recommence sexual activity (longer if she had to have stitches or if interventions such as forceps, vacuum, or C-section were required). It is also recommended that a woman wait a minimum of 18 months post-birth to try to conceive again, though 20-24 months is considered ideal; this allows the body enough time to recover and it's better for both the mother and the new baby.
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Mrs. Hutchins is blessed to be given any grace period what-so-ever. In my home, seeding commences as soon as the baby clears the birth canal. I enjoy the chore as little as Brother Hutchins does...its a dirty job, but it must be done.Genesis 1:28
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-15-2015, 01:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
Are you sure?
That's more of a punishment for Mrs. Hutchins, actually, since it is generally recommended that a woman wait at least 6 weeks after a birth to recommence sexual activity (longer if she had to have stitches or if interventions such as forceps, vacuum, or C-section were required). It is also recommended that a woman wait a minimum of 18 months post-birth to try to conceive again, though 20-24 months is considered ideal; this allows the body enough time to recover and it's better for both the mother and the new baby.
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So you think she should just lie about while chores need to be done, meals made? Most of the time, she has had a baby and then finished her daily obligations. Doing her labors is what makes her think she is fulfilled. If she is not with child, she has no purpose. Thanks to Gods Will and my tolerance, that period of time is minimized.
All births have been natural, often occurring at the sink or in the barn, picthing hay, slopping pigs or shoveling out stalls. From time to time, when sitting in my den, I have heard the cries of a newborn that is soon moved off to the soundproofed nursery so I am resume my work reading the KJV Bible.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-15-2015, 08:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
In my home, seeding commences as soon as the baby clears the birth canal.
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That is not only cruel, it's also pointless. You do realise that a woman is not fertile immediately after birth, right? You have to wait for her periods to return before trying to conceive again, and the length of time it takes for periods to return varies from woman to woman (even pregnancy to pregnancy) and depends on a lot of factors. Example: Baby Wicked was born back in November and I still haven't started menstruating yet because of breastfeeding.
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
So you think she should just lie about while chores need to be done, meals made? Most of the time, she has had a baby and then finished her daily obligations. Doing her labors is what makes her think she is fulfilled. If she is not with child, she has no purpose. Thanks to Gods Will and my tolerance, that period of time is minimized.
All births have been natural, often occurring at the sink or in the barn, picthing hay, slopping pigs or shoveling out stalls. From time to time, when sitting in my den, I have heard the cries of a newborn that is soon moved off to the soundproofed nursery so I am resume my work reading the KJV Bible.
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I am not even going to address all the cruelty in this post, except to mention its existence.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-16-2015, 10:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
....
I am not even going to address all the cruelty in this post, except to mention its existence.
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My address? I live off of 29, between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain. Come by for a visit.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
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Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-16-2015, 10:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
My address? I live off of 29, between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain. Come by for a visit.
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I just... I don't... Why would you think... What?
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-17-2015, 02:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WickedWitch
That is not only cruel, it's also pointless. You do realise that a woman is not fertile immediately after birth, right? You have to wait for her periods to return before trying to conceive again, and the length of time it takes for periods to return varies from woman to woman (even pregnancy to pregnancy) and depends on a lot of factors. Example: Baby Wicked was born back in November and I still haven't started menstruating yet because of breastfeeding.
I am not even going to address all the cruelty in this post, except to mention its existence.
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You have a vulgar tongue, sorceress. That kind of language is not welcome in these family-friendly forums.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate -
07-17-2015, 04:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
My address? I live off of 29, between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain. Come by for a visit.
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Amen brother. That'll be the last trip she makes on her broomstick.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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