Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 37
Join Date: Mar 2008
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...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-29-2008, 11:41 AM
Is there anywhere in the bible that directly talks about whether or not there's sex in heaven? Yeah, I'm aware of Matthew 22:30 and other 2 verses which I don't feel like looking up that talk about how there's no marriage, but it doesn't explicitly state there's no sex in heaven, but only vaguely implies it. All help is greatly appriciated...
(I think I might "join" your church later on, but later when I'm not playing Maple Story or studying for my GED.)
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-29-2008, 12:02 PM
Get your mind out of the gutter, pal. I'll bet you spend all your time playing with yourself down in your parent;s basement, don't you.
Drop whatever you're doing and STUDY THE KJV BIBLE as if your very life depends on it. Which it does.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 37
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Re: ...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-29-2008, 12:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Get your mind out of the gutter, pal. I'll bet you spend all your time playing with yourself down in your parent;s basement, don't you.
Drop whatever you're doing and STUDY THE KJV BIBLE as if your very life depends on it. Which it does.
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In other words, I've pretty much seen everything there is on the subject, right?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-29-2008, 12:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanClement
In other words, I've pretty much seen everything there is on the subject, right?
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There are plenty of racy parts in the Holy Bible. That's exactly why we do not allow children under 18 to post in this Godly forum.
You need someone to guide you firmly through the passages in question. Perhaps Brother BJ could help.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,098
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Oregon. I'm not going to tell you any more than that.
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Re: ...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-29-2008, 02:16 PM
Christians will not be rolling around on the golden streets humping and grunting and slobbering like chimpanzees. It will not be up-with-the-robe and have at it any old time of the Heavenly day.
Here is one opinion:
Quote:
Everything on earth is analogous to something in Heaven. Heaven neither simply removes nor simply continues earthly things. If we apply this principle to sexual intercourse, we get the conclusion that intercourse on earth is a shadow or symbol of intercourse in Heaven. Could we speculate about what that could be?
It could certainly be spiritual intercourse...It would be special communion with the sexually complementary; something a man can have only with a woman and a woman only with a man. We are made complete by such union: "It is not good that the man should be alone." (Genesis 2:18) And God does not simply rip up His design for human fulfillment.
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But Heaven is not viagra. You don't get to poke everything that moves. If you want unbridled random porkery, get thee to Hell.
~~ OEJ
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 37
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Re: ...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-29-2008, 02:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by One-eyed Jack
Christians will not be rolling around on the golden streets humping and grunting and slobbering like chimpanzees. It will not be up-with-the-robe and have at it any old time of the Heavenly day.
Here is one opinion:
But Heaven is not viagra. You don't get to poke everything that moves. If you want unbridled random porkery, get thee to Hell.
~~ OEJ
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Yeah, I saw that before... That was actually the most satisfactory answer I ever found. Fortunately, even IT wouldn't hold hold my faith together...
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,098
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Oregon. I'm not going to tell you any more than that.
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Re: ...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-29-2008, 03:06 PM
Most uninteresting, I'm afraid, Mr. Clement. My advice to you: since your brain appears to be in your pants, keep your zipper closed.
~~ OEJ
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: ...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-30-2008, 05:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanClement
In other words, I've pretty much seen everything there is on the subject, right?
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Isn't it just like Atheists, freed from the restrictions of Jesus their thoughts run immediately to what to do with their cooters/tallywhackers. The imagination runs wild and unrestrained – keyholes, orifices, tailpipes, and cucumbers. The possibilities are endless.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 37
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Re: ...You know, since it doesn't matter anymore, anyway... -
03-30-2008, 08:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan
Isn't it just like Atheists, freed from the restrictions of Jesus their thoughts run immediately to what to do with their cooters/tallywhackers. The imagination runs wild and unrestrained – keyholes, orifices, tailpipes, and cucumbers. The possibilities are endless.
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Yeah! <3
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