Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page Texting & Driving is OK, as long as Jesus is your Co-Pilot
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Thumbs up Texting & Driving is OK, as long as Jesus is your Co-Pilot - 08-11-2015, 06:32 AM

I do it all the time, and whenever Jesus takes the wheel, I am ultimately rewarded by the gratifying crunch of something being crushed beneath my tires...cats, I presume. Nothing beats cruising with the Savior, pounding a few beers, sending out text messages to my BiC. Good times, I tell you...good times. I've got nothing to worry about! Proverbs 2:8
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Redeemed Papist's Avatar
Redeemed Papist Redeemed Papist is offline
Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator Tell her once Flat Earth Porn Resistant Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Ex-eurotrash True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award TC Bravery True Scientist™ True Heterosexual™ Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Gold Tither Anti-sodomy Hands Off

 
Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Texting & Driving is OK, as long as Jesus is your Co-Pilot - 08-11-2015, 08:42 PM

I glory in the fact God is using me as his instrument, should my car ever leave the road and plough into a line of Godless pedestrians. Gay marriage has a lot to answer for!



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
John Creeser's Avatar
John Creeser John Creeser is offline
Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
 

Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Flat Earth Tell her once Protected by JESUS One Year/1000 posts Bronze Tither Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Hotrodder Kirk Cameron Fan Club Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter True Christian Artist Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 3rd class 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mower Stamp of Approval Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Barney BFF of Jesus

 
Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Texting & Driving is OK, as long as Jesus is your Co-Pilot - 08-11-2015, 09:18 PM

Here is the thing, the world has changed and we do a lot of ministering via email and text messaging. I don't have time to pull over while talking someone out of masterbating!

Have you guys learned to stear with your knees? I highly suggest it, it free's up both your hands.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Texting & Driving is OK, as long as Jesus is your Co-Pilot - 08-12-2015, 03:52 AM

I have my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy do my driving. Or sometimes I just put it on autopilot and have the boy assist me in the back seats.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
The new guy's Avatar
The new guy The new guy is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 12
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Currently going fast
The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.The new guy is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Texting & Driving is OK, as long as Jesus is your Co-Pilot - 08-20-2015, 11:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Here is the thing, the world has changed and we do a lot of ministering via email and text messaging. I don't have time to pull over while talking someone out of masterbating!

Have you guys learned to stear with your knees? I highly suggest it, it free's up both your hands.
Pretty sure that only works if you have really long shins. Which you don't.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv Baggie Condemned Reaper Evil Grammar Nazi Democrat Commmmmunnissss How dumb can you get? Five years in the service of the Enemy Beastiality Barney Caution - Poster is on Drugs Demonized Bleeding heart liebral Glutton Drunk Devil Rides the Short Bus Fiddler Potty mouth Retard Posting Philistine skull Pot Head Swiss Skull Sinner Devil's Trill Sonata Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Mower Pastor Ezekiel Prize for Unprecedented Retards Marxist Fake Polling The AIDS Confused about midget porn F1 for Satan

 
Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Texting & Driving is OK, as long as Jesus is your Co-Pilot - 08-20-2015, 11:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The new guy View Post
Pretty sure that only works if you have really long shins. Which you don't.
OK, genius, prove it.


Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
Serving Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers Mission to Korea Trump of GOD True Republican Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hands Off True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Nuke of Heaven Crown of Glory Mower Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Texting & Driving is OK, as long as Jesus is your Co-Pilot - 08-21-2015, 12:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The new guy View Post
Pretty sure that only works if you have really long shins. Which you don't.

I am beginning to sense a bad attitude here.


Salvation floats just beyond your finger tips, friend. Now is the time to decide if you will reach out and get it, or keep on travelling the road to Hell.
You are at serious risk, though I don't think you can see it. Get right with Jesus, friend. It's that or Hell. Don't go there; it's too hot.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved