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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
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Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-27-2009, 11:26 PM
THANK GOD for Republicans who are willing to stand up against the Democratic insanity of Obamacare.
By now you've all heard that the CDC intends to march forward with its campaign of mandatory circumcision across our great nation.
Indeed. The CDC is practically gleeful in its plans to circumcsize all the firstborns of every red-blooded American, from the firstborns of those who sit on Wall Street unto the firstborns of those who use public transportation; and all the firstborns of cattle, too (see Exodus 12:29 for more details).
It's abominable.
And it's exactly what True Christians™ have come to expect from a Democrat (i.e., the dusky Barrack Obama) who wants to put all of our good Christian, fair-skinned grandmas to DEATH.
I guess, if you have to, you can read all the gory details about the Democratic design on our American foreskins here:
http://hotair.com/archives/2009/08/2...ion-campaigns/
But, it's like Brother Rush said the other day:
"It is President Obama who wants [to] mandate circumcision... And that means, if we need to save our penises from anybody, it's Obama."
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Honorary True Christian™
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Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-27-2009, 11:50 PM
A wonderful article, Brother!
Quote:
Update: Let me try to explain this in small words for people who like to give “awards” for hysteria but still demand to see Sarah Palin’s gynecological records. If Obama says he’ll stop doctors from enriching themselves through unnecessary tonsillectomies and amputations, that is an explicit call for government control of health-care delivery and the interference of government between patients and doctors. If the CDC — which is part of the same government that will control health care — decides that circumcision is beneficial and cost-efficient in the long term, that same mechanism would create pressure on doctors and patients to perform them.
You can’t have it both ways. The government that has the power to stop Tonsil Vultures and Foot Rustlers also has the power to pressure for greater numbers of circumcisions. The apparatus for that will be put in place, as Obama not only admits but brags.
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May the good Lord protect us from the Foreskin Fiends!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-27-2009, 11:57 PM
I wonder what he'll do with all those foreskins if his infernal scheme goes ahead. My guess is that he'll either present them to Satan, in a fiendish mockery of David's Godly behaviour:
1 Samuel 18:25 And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.
26 And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son in law: and the days were not expired.
27 Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.
Or burn them as a source of "renewable energy" in order to score points with hippy chicks. I honestly don't know which option is worse.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
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Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-28-2009, 01:04 AM
The government has once again tried to usurp the authority of God. In their pride they have forgotten that God commanded that all believers be circumcised. It is governmental meddling in our True Christian™ affairs.
And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.
This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.
And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
Genesis 17:9-11
And here, Jesus talks about not circumcising a man because God has made man perfect, unless you like the way a penis looks either way. That is the meaning of Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
Moses therefore gave unto you circumcision; (not because it is of Moses, but of the fathers;) and ye on the sabbath day circumcise a man.
If a man on the sabbath day receive circumcision, that the law of Moses should not be broken; are ye angry at me, because I have made a man every whit whole on the sabbath day?
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
John 7:22-24
This is a religious issue. I say to the government, keep your hands off of our penises! Our bodies, our choice!
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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(not a Jew)
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-28-2009, 01:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer
The government has once again tried to usurp the authority of God. In their pride they have forgotten that God commanded that all believers be circumcised. It is governmental meddling in our True Christian™ affairs.
This is a religious issue. I say to the government, keep your hands off of our penises! Our bodies, our choice!
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This is one more piece of evidence that Obama must surely be the Antichrist. Excellent way to connect the dots, Professor!
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Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Romans 1:20 For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: 2 Timothy 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-28-2009, 02:29 AM
I'm a bit confused. I really don't like a choo choo in a tunnel. Does that make me a Democrat? I think our Lord Jesus Christ would prefer if we had no disgusting reproductive parts at all. Or at least we could come up with something more polite like spawning. I'm so glad that Elmer likes my pies better than sex.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-28-2009, 03:55 AM
Don't the pols have anything better to do than fixate on foreskins?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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(not a Jew)
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-28-2009, 03:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Don't the pols have anything better to do than fixate on foreskins?
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Gives a whole new meaning to "stimulus package".
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Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Romans 1:20 For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: 2 Timothy 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
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Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar Biblical Black Belt Jr. Pastor
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-28-2009, 03:58 AM
The Bible warns us about this!!!
Titus 1: 10For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision:
11Whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre's sake.
Galatians 6: 12As many as desire to make a fair shew in the flesh, they constrain you to be circumcised; only lest they should suffer persecution for the cross of Christ.
13For neither they themselves who are circumcised keep the law; but desire to have you circumcised, that they may glory in your flesh.
Galatians 5: 2Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing.
3For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is a debtor to do the whole law.
Galatians 2: 12For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision.
Galatians 2: 3But neither Titus, who was with me, being a Greek, was compelled to be circumcised:
4And that because of false brethren unawares brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage:
5To whom we gave place by subjection, no, not for an hour; that the truth of the gospel might continue with you.
Romans 3: 1What advantage then hath the Jew? or what profit is there of circumcision?
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-28-2009, 05:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Or burn them as a source of "renewable energy" in order to score points with hippy chicks.
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I expect Toyota to bring out the Pricus any day now.
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
08-29-2009, 05:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
I expect Toyota to bring out the Pricus any day now.
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The Japs have such teeny tiny tallywackers, I'm surprised that they can reproduce at all. But everything else is small in Japan - the women, the cars, the portion of food you get at a restaurant, and the houses. I even heard that they call their houses "rabbit hutches." I know cause I was in Japan once, in Okinawa, when I was in the military (before the medical discharge I got for "psychotic episodes").
Hey, this all reminds me of a joke I heard at church. The definition of Heaven and Hell. The definition of Heaven is to have:
1) An English house
2) A Japanese wife
3) A Chinese cook
4) An American salary
And the definition of Hell:
1) A Japanese house
2) An American wife
3) An English cook
4) A Chinese salary
Of course, I don't really agree with all that. American wives are OK, just as long as you beat them every now and then whenever they start getting uppity. And once the stretch marks start showing, you just cut their food rations to keep them slim. Of course, if they get all wrinkly or their teeth fall out from the beatings, you can always head down to Tijuana or Juarez for a little "missionary work," if you know what I mean.
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
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Unsaved trash
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
09-01-2009, 06:48 PM
wow are you people real,talk about Bigots
"Speaking words of wisdom LET IT BE" P. McCartney
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
09-01-2009, 06:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJay
wow are you people real,talk about Bigots
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Dear friend:
We are every bit as real as Our Lord Jesus Christ and as the lake of fire into which He will cast you unless you repent.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
09-01-2009, 07:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins
The Japs have such teeny tiny tallywackers, I'm surprised that they can reproduce at all. But everything else is small in Japan - the women, the cars, the portion of food you get at a restaurant, and the houses. I even heard that they call their houses "rabbit hutches." I know cause I was in Japan once, in Okinawa, when I was in the military (before the medical discharge I got for "psychotic episodes").
Hey, this all reminds me of a joke I heard at church. The definition of Heaven and Hell. The definition of Heaven is to have:
1) An English house
2) A Japanese wife
3) A Chinese cook
4) An American salary
And the definition of Hell:
1) A Japanese house
2) An American wife
3) An English cook
4) A Chinese salary
Of course, I don't really agree with all that. American wives are OK, just as long as you beat them every now and then whenever they start getting uppity. And once the stretch marks start showing, you just cut their food rations to keep them slim. Of course, if they get all wrinkly or their teeth fall out from the beatings, you can always head down to Tijuana or Juarez for a little "missionary work," if you know what I mean.
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
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Pastor Isaac Peters you do not see any bigotry in the highlighted remarks?
You see nothing wrong in the remarks? No sexism,racism nor bigotry ?
Is this the way Jesus would feel? And I am the one that needs to repent?
WOW
"Speaking words of wisdom LET IT BE" P. McCartney
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
09-01-2009, 07:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJay
wow are you people real,talk about Bigots
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Do you think we are making up those Bible quotes or that statement from Rush Limbaugh?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
09-01-2009, 07:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Do you think we are making up those Bible quotes or that statement from Rush Limbaugh?
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My post has nothing to do with Mr Limbaugh, or the bible.
I found some of the mans comments to be bigoted and racist.
As to the medical procedure per formed on infant males and their penis's . From my understanding it is healthier
"Speaking words of wisdom LET IT BE" P. McCartney
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
09-01-2009, 07:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJay
My post has nothing to do with Mr Limbaugh, or the bible.
(blah, blah, blah)
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Then your post is hijacking the thread and unacceptable in this forum.
The Bible is always on topic at Landover.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar Biblical Black Belt Jr. Pastor
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
09-01-2009, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJay
My post has nothing to do with Mr Limbaugh, or the bible.
I found some of the mans comments to be bigoted and racist.
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What on earth is bigoted or racist in his comment???
Quote:
As to the medical procedure per formed on infant males and their penis's . From my understanding it is healthier
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False. http://www.circumstitions.com/
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Unsaved trash
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Re: Republicans fight to save our penises! -
09-01-2009, 08:39 PM
Quote:
The Japs have such teeny tiny tallywackers, I'm surprised that they can reproduce at all
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Bigoted,racist(Asian)
Quote:
Of course, I don't really agree with all that. American wives are OK, just as long as you beat them every now and then whenever they start getting uppity. And once the stretch marks start showing, you just cut their food rations to keep them slim. Of course, if they get all wrinkly or their teeth fall out from the beatings, you can always head down to Tijuana or Juarez for a little "missionary work," if you know what I mean.
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Bigoted,sexiest
Why would God care if my penis has been bobbed?
"Speaking words of wisdom LET IT BE" P. McCartney
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