[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

I have a clarification question here regarding the DECAL DETECTOR™, does this device detect the presence of tattoos? If yes, then I think we have a winner here - there will be overwhelming market acceptance.

If venture capital is needed here, I'm sure our very own Free Market Fred can provide some assistance.

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.

- Leviticus 19:28

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

Brother BAW, may I please suggest a roof hatch alarm in case we get raptured?




Dr. Laurence Niles also suggests that in case of a rapture, we should leave a few windows ajar so we are not bouncing against them like a wasp trying desperately to escape to Heaven. We probably need alarms for the windows as well.

[Back against wall]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

I have a query. My friends wear quite lively fabric—supplied & sewn by me to make sure it's all single fibre—but could this be confused with bling?

My dear Ms Mitza

The True Christian 1611 Complete Security System™ has 4 key elements;


True Christian Skin Tone Uber System™
True Christian Munitions Detector™
True Christian Religion Detector™
True Christian Decals Detector™


All of these individual systems work in conjunction with the other. It would serve God no justice if we were to randomly condemn undesirables to death via horrible depreciating diseases. Who would there be left to save for Jesus?
A "friend" would be wise to remember that approaching your home with their face covered would be both suspicious and unsociable and most possibly painfully fatal. Again as mentioned earlier the built in "Friend or Foe Facial Recognition Software™" would ensure that your colorful friends are seen safe to your door.

The True Christian Blood Mist™ has variable settings. One may set the system to immediately discharge the Blood Mist™ or if one desired, have the system discharge at a specified distance as set by the user. There is also a manual mode which can be used by either Remote Control™ or by a button at your front door.

As the True Christian Blood Mist™ contains a potent mixture of disease and Hydrofluoric Acid 1611™© The system is designed to force an assailant (or undesirable) to a safe distance from your home by way of a Penetrating Irritable Sound System™ and an Offensive Force Field which works by activating good Christian music which is known to cause non Christians to retreat in a confused state of bewilderment and awe. Thus protecting you home from being damaged.

I hope I have addressed your concerns. You truly are quite lovely Ms Mitza, I don't know if I have ever told you that.
Mrs Wall died this morning returning from checking on our bee's when she failed to remove her beekeepers hat and facial mask, the system rightly confused he as being an undesirable. I believe it was a heart attack due to the shock of the experience. It really is quite inconvenient.

One more thing. I am hoping that this system will be approved and accepted by the Freehold Security Council and the Mayor of Freehold. I plan on supplying the True Christian 1611 Complete Security System™ free of charge to the Mayor of Freehold and its community in exchange for a right to citizenship in the good city of Freehold. All True Christians can obtain this system for a token sum (or donation for tax purposes)

Brother Back, sir, my husband asks whether the system can be modified to deal with local conditions. For example, our main worry is hordes of marauding Jehovah's Witlesses, who seem undeterred by this:


Perhaps they are illiterate, but stronger measures than our boys' imaginative system of tripwires are now called for.

We have little problem with atheists, thanks to this:



Such cowards, atheists.


Wow, he gets it! Well done, my little cardboard-cutlass wielding friend!

Dear Mrs Lytton-Vasey. I trust you and your good husband are doing well.

To answer your question, the True Christian 1611 Complete Security System™ comes complete with Audible warnings for the dimm witted as well as the ability to detect the common dress code of Satanic worshipers like the Mormrons and Jehovah's Witlesses. Again, with each of the 4 systems working in conjunction with the other, you can rest assured that you can & will be free from scum.
Atheists are best dealt with manually so as to evaluate the possibilities of saving their souls.

Please don't hesitate to relay any future concerns Mr Lytton-Vasey may have.

A very fine day to you Sister Joanna

If you had paid attention you should know I am already working on that.

It would surprise me if people didn´t have better things to do than remember what I´ve said. Nonetheless you make a lousy argument when you state something that could be easily proven irrelevant merely by reading a few posts back.

I would ask you to keep a civil tongue and fair attitude when addressing good True Christian™ Women. I trust an apology will follow. Please remember that you are privileged to be here and have so far been considered as one who could be saved.

I have a clarification question here regarding the DECAL DETECTOR™, does this device detect the presence of tattoos? If yes, then I think we have a winner here - there will be overwhelming market acceptance.

If venture capital is needed here, I'm sure our very own Free Market Fred can provide some assistance.

Brother William. Most certainly. Tattoos were the building block for the True Christian Decals Detector™ Be advised that facial tattoos are instantly identified as an "UBER ALERT" and the undesirable is automatically sprayed.

As per your mention of funding. My road Design Company, being the main contract holder for the Department of Roads in OzTrailer coupled with the earnings of a past design of mine "OzTrailer Bogan Repellent™" has catered for all production and design costs.

As mentioned earlier;

I am hoping that this system will be approved and accepted by the Freehold Security Council and the Mayor of Freehold. I plan on supplying the True Christian 1611 Complete Security System™ free of charge to the Mayor of Freehold and its community in exchange for a right to citizenship in the good city of Freehold. All True Christians can obtain this system for a token sum (or donation for tax purposes)

Thank you for showing interest and True Christian™ encouragement

Brother BAW, may I please suggest a roof hatch alarm in case we get raptured?

Dr. Laurence Niles also suggests that in case of a rapture, we should leave a few windows ajar so we are not bouncing against them like a wasp trying desperately to escape to Heaven. We probably need alarms for the windows as well.

Ms Daisy. I can't help but reliving the experience of eating your delicious crusty pie every time I see you in forum. please pass on my regards to Brother Ezekiel

These suggestions are really quite brilliant. I believed I had thought of everything and here we are, making additions already. Thank you so much.
The True Christian 1611 Complete Security System™ has gone through vigorous testing. We staged a (fake) Marylin Manson concert and found that 100% of the attracted audience were sprayed and are now either dead or awaiting Satan to call on them.
To adversely test the system, we set up at a recent seminar with the guest speaker Kirk Cameron and we are happy to say that all but one audience member (whom thought it was the Manson concert) were spared condemnation.

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

My greatest fear has always been rampaging native hordes. Could some sort of blanket dispenser be customized into system, in case of an injun raid? Also few more vials of smallpox would be in great demand. It's really hard to come by these days.

[Back against wall]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

My greatest fear has always been rampaging native hordes. Could some sort of blanket dispenser be customized into system, in case of an injun raid? Also few more vials of smallpox would be in great demand. It's really hard to come by these days.

Brother Alphonse. With a spray length of 12 feet in a 360 degree radius I would suggest (depending on the size of your Freehold Mansion) 4 of these at each side of the house would suffice.
The Blood Mist™ nozzle will spray 360 deg if it has recognised to do so, otherwise it operates at a radius as set by the owner of the system. But when warranted, nobody is spared. (Antidotes are supplied)

Understand that the Blood Mist™ is not an instant death (unlike the recent death of my wife, I think yesterday, who was sprayed by her own stupidity and had a heart attack as a result. Any idea if Ms Mitza is courting anyone?) as this would not allow the true test of faith. God has and always will have the ability to rid the "perpetrator" of anything my system has infected them with.

We are working on a system for exactly the scenario you have presented. In the case of a mass attack your house would go into lockdown, shielding it with impenetrable materials, just as a bank tellers window would when a Niggero attempts a robbery.

As per your mention of smallpox. 4 canasters are in the mail as soon as I can contact the Bio Chemistry unit.
Consider this an act in good faith. Perhaps when my submission to migrate to Freehold comes up at a Town Meeting, you might put in a good word for me.

Regards
BAW

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

Thank you Brother Back, for both your reply and for the True Christian(tm) gentlemanly way that you sprang to my defense.

Mrs Wall died this morning returning from checking on our bee's when she failed to remove her beekeepers hat and facial mask, the system rightly confused he as being an undesirable. I believe it was a heart attack due to the shock of the experience. It really is quite inconvenient.

May I offer deepest condolences from all the L-V family. My husband will be in touch later in the day concerning his second daughter, Hope, who will be 16 next month.

[Back against wall]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

Thank you Brother Back, for both your reply and for the True Christian™ gentlemanly way that you sprang to my defense.



May I offer deepest condolences from all the L-V family. My husband will be in touch later in the day concerning his second daughter, Hope, who will be 16 next month.

Sister Joanna this is fantastic news. As long as Hope isn't an ugly young Woman I would be most Honoured to meet with your Husband.

God be with you and your Family.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

face..

Thank you for reassuring me. I am considering having one from you. Unfortunately there are a dreadful lot of heathen types where I live especially at night which is why we have the fabric to avoid being run over when witnessing. Obviously I don't encourage savage visitors, hippies, EMO's/goths & similar, but I do have some woven vinyl material with vinyl appliqué decals (it was the linked sample) which is rather tasteful. But my friends do tend to wear novel millinery – as a way of not being dazzled by headlights. I don't need to do that myself you understand and usually get back earlier than they do. That's when I'd activate your system. Here are some of the hats:



Do you think these styles would interfere with the biometrics?

[Back against wall]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

Do you think these styles would interfere with the biometrics?

hmm I am not to sure, I may have to get back to you. I can tell you now though, number 1 & 3 should be fine. Number 2 & 4 may end up with the Aids. Number 5 is going to have a lot of trouble eating and that's not in reference to the True Christian 1611 Complete Security System™

[James Hutchins]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

That looks like one fancy system! I've been relying on ditches with sharpened sticks for years. I send a wetback out at night and thier incessant jabbering scares off intruders, causing them to run, fall in to the ditch and then the following day, I use a skid steer to cover the ditch and make a new ditch.
Wetbacks are free at Home Depot.

2 Samuel 3
3 Now there was long war between the house of Saul and the house of David: but David waxed stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul waxed weaker and weaker.
2 And unto David were sons born in Hebron: and his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess;
3 And his second, Chileab, of Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur;
4 And the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital;
5 And the sixth, Ithream, by Eglah David's wife. These were born to David in Hebron.
6 And it came to pass, while there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, that Abner made himself strong for the house of Saul.
7 And Saul had a concubine, whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah: and Ishbosheth said to Abner, Wherefore hast thou gone in unto my father's concubine?
8 Then was Abner very wroth for the words of Ishbosheth, and said, Am I a dog's head, which against Judah do shew kindness this day unto the house of Saul thy father, to his brethren, and to his friends, and have not delivered thee into the hand of David, that thou chargest me to day with a fault concerning this woman?
9 So do God to Abner, and more also, except, as the Lord hath sworn to David, even so I do to him;
10 To translate the kingdom from the house of Saul, and to set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan even to Beersheba.
11 And he could not answer Abner a word again, because he feared him.
12 And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, Whose is the land? saying also, Make thy league with me, and, behold, my hand shall be with thee, to bring about all Israel unto thee.
13 And he said, Well; I will make a league with thee: but one thing I require of thee, that is, Thou shalt not see my face, except thou first bring Michal Saul's daughter, when thou comest to see my face.
14 And David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul's son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines.
15 And Ishbosheth sent, and took her from her husband, even from Phaltiel the son of Laish.
16 And her husband went with her along weeping behind her to Bahurim. Then said Abner unto him, Go, return. And he returned.
17 And Abner had communication with the elders of Israel, saying, Ye sought for David in times past to be king over you:
18 Now then do it: for the Lord hath spoken of David, saying, By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel out of the hand of the Philistines, and out of the hand of all their enemies.
19 And Abner also spake in the ears of Benjamin: and Abner went also to speak in the ears of David in Hebron all that seemed good to Israel, and that seemed good to the whole house of Benjamin.
20 So Abner came to David to Hebron, and twenty men with him. And David made Abner and the men that were with him a feast.
21 And Abner said unto David, I will arise and go, and will gather all Israel unto my lord the king, that they may make a league with thee, and that thou mayest reign over all that thine heart desireth. And David sent Abner away; and he went in peace.
22 And, behold, the servants of David and Joab came from pursuing a troop, and brought in a great spoil with them: but Abner was not with David in Hebron; for he had sent him away, and he was gone in peace.
23 When Joab and all the host that was with him were come, they told Joab, saying, Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he hath sent him away, and he is gone in peace.
24 Then Joab came to the king, and said, What hast thou done? behold, Abner came unto thee; why is it that thou hast sent him away, and he is quite gone?
25 Thou knowest Abner the son of Ner, that he came to deceive thee, and to know thy going out and thy coming in, and to know all that thou doest.
26 And when Joab was come out from David, he sent messengers after Abner, which brought him again from the well of Sirah: but David knew it not.
27 And when Abner was returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside in the gate to speak with him quietly, and smote him there under the fifth rib, that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother.
28 And afterward when David heard it, he said, I and my kingdom are guiltless before the Lord for ever from the blood of Abner the son of Ner:
29 Let it rest on the head of Joab, and on all his father's house; and let there not fail from the house of Joab one that hath an issue, or that is a leper, or that leaneth on a staff, or that falleth on the sword, or that lacketh bread.
30 So Joab, and Abishai his brother slew Abner, because he had slain their brother Asahel at Gibeon in the battle.
31 And David said to Joab, and to all the people that were with him, Rend your clothes, and gird you with sackcloth, and mourn before Abner. And king David himself followed the bier.
32 And they buried Abner in Hebron: and the king lifted up his voice, and wept at the grave of Abner; and all the people wept.
33 And the king lamented over Abner, and said, Died Abner as a fool dieth?
34 Thy hands were not bound, nor thy feet put into fetters: as a man falleth before wicked men, so fellest thou. And all the people wept again over him.
35 And when all the people came to cause David to eat meat while it was yet day, David sware, saying, So do God to me, and more also, if I taste bread, or ought else, till the sun be down.
36 And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them: as whatsoever the king did pleased all the people.
37 For all the people and all Israel understood that day that it was not of the king to slay Abner the son of Ner.
38 And the king said unto his servants, Know ye not that there is a prince and a great man fallen this day in Israel?
39 And I am this day weak, though anointed king; and these men the sons of Zeruiah be too hard for me: the Lord shall reward the doer of evil according to his wickedness.

[Back against wall]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

Well that was a most inspirational reading, thanks for that Brother James.

I am also a big fan of drop holes with giant toothpicks but the mess ..

[Ph0enix808]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

This is a great system! good job!

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

Brother BAW, may I please suggest a roof hatch alarm in case we get raptured?




Dr. Laurence Niles also suggests that in case of a rapture, we should leave a few windows ajar so we are not bouncing against them like a wasp trying desperately to escape to Heaven. We probably need alarms for the windows as well.

I can't stop thinking about your Rapture Hole!! Great idea!!

[Vessel of Christ]

Re: True Christian Complete Security System Model 1611™ - Infographic™

Brother Alphonse. With a spray length of 12 feet in a 360 degree radius I would suggest (depending on the size of your Freehold Mansion) 4 of these at each side of the house would suffice.
The Blood Mist™ nozzle will spray 360 deg if it has recognised to do so, otherwise it operates at a radius as set by the owner of the system. But when warranted, nobody is spared. (Antidotes are supplied)

Understand that the Blood Mist™ is not an instant death (unlike the recent death of my wife, I think yesterday, who was sprayed by her own stupidity and had a heart attack as a result. Any idea if Ms Mitza is courting anyone?) as this would not allow the true test of faith. God has and always will have the ability to rid the "perpetrator" of anything my system has infected them with.

We are working on a system for exactly the scenario you have presented. In the case of a mass attack your house would go into lockdown, shielding it with impenetrable materials, just as a bank tellers window would when a Niggero attempts a robbery.

As per your mention of smallpox. 4 canasters are in the mail as soon as I can contact the Bio Chemistry unit.
Consider this an act in good faith. Perhaps when my submission to migrate to Freehold comes up at a Town Meeting, you might put in a good word for me.

Regards
BAW

Hello Mr.Back Against The Wall! I am very interested in purchasing your security system, but I have a question. I live in Alabama, and we have lots of darkies around here stirring up trouble which is why I want the security system in the first place, but the only problem is that I believe the blood misting system wouldn't work on a darkie. Almost all of the darkies around here already have the AIDS, and many other STD'S so spraying more AIDS blood on them won't hurt them! Would it be possible to custom order a blood solution that has every single plague within it?


I'm afraid anything less won't work on a darkie! Please get back to me on rather or not you'll be able to procure a blood solution that will work on already infected darkies. Thank you. YiC.