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Default Famous Masturbators in History - 06-07-2013, 05:06 PM

As you all know, God hates seed that is spilled. Despite this, modern liberal influences have made masturbation popular. They claim it's "healthy" now, and they come up with pet names for the disgusting practice.

One reason that compulsive masturbation has become a "fad" is because it is endorsed by degenerate celebrities. I propose to establish a list of these perverts here in the Men's Only section of God's favorite forum, so that all of my Brothers in Christ will know who and what to avoid.

For the first entry, one of the most evil and filthy perverts of all time: Salvador Dali!
Quote:
Dirty Dali: The Great Masturbator

Although British art critic Brian Sewell’s Dirty Dali: A Private View isn’t quite as salacious as the title makes it sound (and doesn’t include a fraction of the dirt that was in Ian Gibson’s fascinating 1997 biography, (The Shameful Life of Salvador Dalí) it’s still pretty darned interesting.

In fact, though less “warts and all” than Gibson’s book, Sewell’s 2007 documentary about the painter does have something Gibson’s account did not, and that is a personal sexual… experience (“encounter” would be the wrong word) with the voyeuristic Great Masturbator himself!

Sewell describes in the film how as a young man he came to stay in Port Lligat for four summers between 1968 and 1971 and was introduced into the Dali’s social circle at a time that the genius was thought to have seen his best days—and best work—now long behind him.

After a dinner, Dali convinced Sewell to recline on a sculpture of Christ and masturbate while he took photos and beat his own (apparently very tiny) meat. This sort of thing went on, obviously, with Gala’s disinterested blessing as she was into her very own swinging scene and was allegedly a complete nymphomaniac into a ripe old age.

Although ultimately quite sympathetic to Dali, Sewell’s film depicts how unconstrained Dali was by conventional morality and yet how his own deep psychological (not to mention Catholic) shame at what he got up to, fed into his work in a perverse sort of guilty, self-loathing Freudian feedback loop.

But clearly, it worked for him…



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-07-2013, 05:39 PM

This is very much a lifestyle problem that needs the same treatment as homosexuality. I am afraid that we are already losing the battle, the magazine below is already available in the UK and it will be but a short time before it reaches these shores.


I will organize prayer warriors and contact our tame representative.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-24-2013, 03:43 PM


The sandniggers "prophet" is known to be both a chronic masturbator as well as a pedophile.
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-01-2013, 07:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
This is very much a lifestyle problem that needs the same treatment as homosexuality. I am afraid that we are already losing the battle, the magazine below is already available in the UK and it will be but a short time before it reaches these shores.


I will organize prayer warriors and contact our tame representative.
Any sane man (never mind god-fearing) should be ashamed to be on the cover of a magazine titled "Stylish Masturbator".
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-01-2013, 07:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bindar dundat View Post
Any sane man (never mind god-fearing) should be ashamed to be on the cover of a magazine titled "Stylish Masturbator".
You'd prefer "Unstylish Masturbator", then?


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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-25-2013, 04:13 AM

Masturbation destroys lives!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-26-2013, 03:23 AM

The movie stars of Hellywood all masturbate. And then they brag about it! What kind of example does that set for Christian children?



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-26-2013, 02:44 PM

The stupid IRS is full of masturbators:


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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-27-2013, 04:23 PM

The Romanist lowerarchy, and maybe even your local Romanist priest.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Exclamation Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 09-10-2013, 03:44 PM

"God hates seed that is spilled."
Well he can't hate because there is no god and if there would be god then he would be kinda asshole that just wants to ruin your life.
Masturbation is good for you.
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 09-10-2013, 04:53 PM

If only these poor people had been given the benefit of a school visit from "Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin", history would have been a whole lot better. Then again, my shares in Clennex Tissue, wouldn't be worth a cent.



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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 04-29-2014, 08:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
The movie stars of Hellywood all masturbate. And then they brag about it! What kind of example does that set for Christian children?

I love James Franco. I think we must all respect him for being a good christian and not being hypocritical. He is honest about his masturbation
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 04-30-2014, 09:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
I love James Franco. I think we must all respect him for being a good christian and not being hypocritical. He is honest about his masturbation
Utterly absurd! How is he a good Christian? From his wiki article:
Quote:
Regarding his secular upbringing, he told The Guardian that he feels as if he has "missed out on the Jewish experience", but has been told not to worry about that by his Jewish friends and said in the same interview that he likes "the idea of religion as a source of community." When asked if he was a "believer," he responded "In God? I don't know. Yes. To a certain extent. It's a complicated question."[18]
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-02-2013, 02:58 AM

The eurotrash even tell jokes about it. Can you imagine? They go out of their way to offend Jesus.





There is nothing humorous about the sin of onanism. Even when told by harlots.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 10:56 PM

Spilled seed was actually referred to grain that is lost when emptying sacks.

See what I did there?

On a serious note, masturbation lessens the chance of prostate cancer and dulls serious sexual anxiety. If a potential rapist rubbed one out before going on the prowl, he'd be less inclined to follow through.

FACT


Ezekiel 4:15 : I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChurchMadeMeAthiest View Post
If a potential rapist rubbed one out before going on the prowl, he'd be less inclined to follow through.

FACT
So are you saying that you masturbate because it reduces your urge to rape?

Even then it's a sin.
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
So are you saying that you masturbate because it reduces your urge to rape?

Even then it's a sin.
If rape was ever a thought that I would entertain, then yes, it would still be true.

There's no need to try and put words in my mouth, I was just stating a fact


Ezekiel 4:15 : I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChurchMadeMeAthiest View Post
If rape was ever a thought that I would entertain, then yes, it would still be true.

There's no need to try and put words in my mouth, I was just stating a fact
Without posting anything to support your fact, you must be talking from your own experience. How often do you feel this need for rape?
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-05-2014, 04:31 AM

THIS coon singer has publicly admitted to a deformity caused by excessive masturbating.
Quote:

50 Cent Blames Bad Baseball Pitch on 'Excessive Masturbation'
The rapper also responds to Aziz Ansari's bit about rapper's lack of grapefruit knowledge

Last week, rapper 50 Cent made headlines not for his music – but his lack of athletic skill, throwing the worst first pitch in the history of MLB (and, well, since the invention of baseballs). But there's a perfectly good explanation for the debacle, and, as A.V. Club notes, it involves a different manual activity.



"I have a skeletal muscle injury on my left shoulder from excessive masturbation so take it easy lol," the rapper wrote Wednesday in his Reddit AMA session promoting new album Animal Ambition.

This isn't the first time he's defended himself from the lopsided throw. "Look, I'm not a professional baseball player and won't be any time soon. I'm a musician," the rapper recently told Rolling Stone, adding that he "did practice before going out there and it went great, all strikes!"

LOLs aside, the rapper's struggles with masturbation appear to be semi-serious – at least, if a series of tweets dating back to 2012 is any indication. "Step 1. To avoid the urge to masturbate stop going to porn sites," he wrote, followed by three more bits of advice (including "Do not go to strip clubs").

Elsewhere in the AMA, 50 Cent finally addressed Aziz Ansari's classic stand-up bit – a story about how the rapper didn't know what a grapefruit was. Turns out he goes way back with the tasty treat, and he doesn't take the claims lightly. "My grandma used to get me grapefruit juice as a kid," he wrote. "(Anzari)'s a comedian. Ima have his ass whoop if he keeps saying that lol," he said.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChurchMadeMeAthiest View Post
Spilled seed was actually referred to grain that is lost when emptying sacks.

See what I did there?

On a serious note, masturbation lessens the chance of prostate cancer and dulls serious sexual anxiety. If a potential rapist rubbed one out before going on the prowl, he'd be less inclined to follow through.

FACT
I've never known a True Christian™ to get prostate cancer, proving the healing powers of prayer.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


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