[Creationist Ron]

My fellow Christians I have come to a shocking realization. Now lets take a moment to think about this. We all agree that mastrubation is the murder of millions of sperm babies, and is forbidden by the bible. Now we all probably know that tightie whites can give you a low sperm count right? Well so so skinny jeans!

Skinny Jeans & Low Sperm Count
I have recently figured out that because skinny jeans compress the testicles like tightie whities they can induce low sperm count! This means that anyone who wears skinny jeans is a serial killer because they are killing millions of sperm babies!

Skinny Jeans Were Made By Odummy To Kill Future Generations!
We all see the celebrities that children idolize, and they all want to be like them so they put out the same kind of crummy clothes with a fancy label on it, and make millions selling it to the kids, but that's not good enough they started using skinny jeans in there evil plot for 2 more reasons to kill sperm, and encourage HOMOSEXUALITY!

Skinny Jeans & Homers!
Homers are always obsessed with the newest fashion trend. They try to get as gay as possible they wear skinny jeans so there bulge is more prominent so they can find someone to go home with! They also are very revealing some are see through!

The Demoncrats Agenda!
This is all a part of the Demoncrats, and homers agenda to turn our future into baby killing, pot smoking God-Mockers! The Demoncrats will continue making millions of dollars off our youth, and homers! They will stop at nothing they are greedy, and selfish!

Parents!
Parents if your children own any clothing brands from "Gucci","Prahda", or any other silly sounding names return them immediatley these brands are from homers, and lieberals! Also make sure your children aren't wearing skinny jeans, or else they might as well be having an abortion!

The only clothing your child needs is church clothes!

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Ron55555

The only clothing your child needs is church clothes!

Then what should the child wear the rest of the week? Children should work very hard all the week, without pay of course, except Sundays. I don't think parents want to spend a fortune on clothing for their children. Actually, one of the few advantages of having daughters is that they can make and repair clothes.

[Creationist Ron]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

Then what should the child wear the rest of the week? Children should work very hard all the week, without pay of course, except Sundays. I don't think parents want to spend a fortune on clothing for their children. Actually, one of the few advantages of having daughters is that they can make and repair clothes.

Yes Sir, I understand what you mean I didn't mean that statement literaly I just meant the only nice clothes they need should be church clothes. Rest of the time raggedy work clothes. That's what my father gave me I turned out fine!

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

I've always said one can't have too many good, Godly pairs of suspenders or overalls for farm work.

[Nobar King]

I gained a little weight and now all of my pants are too tight and I can confirm that they are murder. I bought a couple of new pairs that fit better, but I'm going to try to slim down a little so I can fit into my old jeans again.

[Creationist Ron]

Originally Posted by Ron55555

My fellow Christians I have come to a shocking realization. Now lets take a moment to think about this. We all agree that mastrubation is the murder of millions of sperm babies, and is forbidden by the bible. Now we all probably know that tightie whites can give you a low sperm count right? Well so so skinny jeans!

Skinny Jeans & Low Sperm Count
I have recently figured out that because skinny jeans compress the testicles like tightie whities they can induce low sperm count! This means that anyone who wears skinny jeans is a serial killer because they are killing millions of sperm babies!

Skinny Jeans Were Made By Odummy To Kill Future Generations!
We all see the celebrities that children idolize, and they all want to be like them so they put out the same kind of crummy clothes with a fancy label on it, and make millions selling it to the kids, but that's not good enough they started using skinny jeans in there evil plot for 2 more reasons to kill sperm, and encourage HOMOSEXUALITY!

Skinny Jeans & Homers!
Homers are always obsessed with the newest fashion trend. They try to get as gay as possible they wear skinny jeans so there bulge is more prominent so they can find someone to go home with! They also are very revealing some are see through!

The Demoncrats Agenda!
This is all a part of the Demoncrats, and homers agenda to turn our future into baby killing, pot smoking God-Mockers! The Demoncrats will continue making millions of dollars off our youth, and homers! They will stop at nothing they are greedy, and selfish!

Parents!
Parents if your children own any clothing brands from "Gucci","Prahda", or any other silly sounding names return them immediatley these brands are from homers, and lieberals! Also make sure your children aren't wearing skinny jeans, or else they might as well be having an abortion!

The only clothing your child needs is church clothes!

EDIT: Genesis 38:9 "And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass when he went in unto his brothers wife, that he spilled it on the ground, least that he should give seed to his brother."
Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

If you catch your kids playing this game be sure to chasten them in accordance with Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

[Mistress Cookie]

Brother Ron, do you think the new, blue jean SKIRTS are okay? I've always wondered about this. They have to be made in kind of a narrower style, because when skirts are too loose, they can blow up in the wind, or fly around if you fall down on (or are knocked to) the ground.

I guess I would say a jean skirt is better for Landover women than just jeans....but like the jeans, the skirts can't be too tight. But like I said, in a strange way, the tighter, narrower skirts are in some ways more modest than the looser, billowing skirts (during accidents.)

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

Brother Ron, do you think the new, blue jean SKIRTS are okay? I've always wondered about this. They have to be made in kind of a narrower style, because when skirts are too loose, they can blow up in the wind, or fly around if you fall down on (or are knocked to) the ground.

I guess I would say a jean skirt is better for Landover women than just jeans....but like the jeans, the skirts can't be too tight. But like I said, in a strange way, the tighter, narrower skirts are in some ways more modest than the looser, billowing skirts (during accidents.)

I make sure my wife's dresses drag on the ground. This eliminates any of the potential problems otherwise inherent in female garments.

[Creationist Ron]

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

Brother Ron, do you think the new, blue jean SKIRTS are okay? I've always wondered about this. They have to be made in kind of a narrower style, because when skirts are too loose, they can blow up in the wind, or fly around if you fall down on (or are knocked to) the ground.

I guess I would say a jean skirt is better for Landover women than just jeans....but like the jeans, the skirts can't be too tight. But like I said, in a strange way, the tighter, narrower skirts are in some ways more modest than the looser, billowing skirts (during accidents.)

If they could be altered to not reveal any skin I suppose it would be OK, but anything revealing legs would be completely unacceptable. Legs are a gateway to whoredom. Leviticus 19:29 "Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore, lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

Brother Ron, do you think the new, blue jean SKIRTS are okay? I've always wondered about this. They have to be made in kind of a narrower style, because when skirts are too loose, they can blow up in the wind, or fly around if you fall down on (or are knocked to) the ground.

I guess I would say a jean skirt is better for Landover women than just jeans....but like the jeans, the skirts can't be too tight. But like I said, in a strange way, the tighter, narrower skirts are in some ways more modest than the looser, billowing skirts (during accidents.)

You make such a good point, Mistress. I like wearing denim jumpers. I think they are just the best. They are easy-peasy to make, and without any waist to worry about, men aren't drawn to my feminine waist and womanly hips. I would hate to be the reason a man sins (Proverbs 6:25).



Just in case, on those blustery days, I am sure to wear my favorite denim bloomers. That way, should a gust of wind befall me, or if I should accidentally trip in public, nothing but modesty shall prevail.

[Creationist Ron]

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda

You make such a good point, Mistress. I like wearing denim jumpers. I think they are just the best. They are easy-peasy to make, and without any waist to worry about, men aren't drawn to my feminine waist and womanly hips. I would hate to be the reason a man sins (Proverbs 6:25).



Just in case, on those blustery days, I am sure to wear my favorite denim bloomers. That way, should a gust of wind befall me, or if I should accidentally trip in public, nothing but modesty shall prevail.

That's a great idea Mary! Bloomers would be great alteration to the skirt.

[Child Byar]

Originally Posted by Creationist Ron

Skinny Jeans & Low Sperm Count
I have recently figured out that because skinny jeans compress the testicles like tightie whities they can induce low sperm count! This means that anyone who wears skinny jeans is a serial killer because they are killing millions of sperm babies!

Thank you for this post, brother, but I must confess that I find it deeply disturbing. I have always worn tighty whities without thinking of the consequence to my soul and the possibility of offending the LORD. Actually, that's not quite true - I was actually TRYING to dodge Satan's temptations because bikini briefs might make me appear to be tempting homersexuals and boxers sort of cause me to "erect a steeple" so to speak, at inappropriate times. So I thought that I would be doing good by crushing my oxnards, and now I find out that I may be committing spermocide! I thought the Sin of Onan was bad, but it may be worse to abort the poor little buggers in advance!

So please assist me, in Jesus name I pray! What manner of smallclothes do you recommend?

Yours in Christ,
Byar

[Creationist Ron]

Originally Posted by Child Byar

Thank you for this post, brother, but I must confess that I find it deeply disturbing. I have always worn tighty whities without thinking of the consequence to my soul and the possibility of offending the LORD. Actually, that's not quite true - I was actually TRYING to dodge Satan's temptations because bikini briefs might make me appear to be tempting homersexuals and boxers sort of cause me to "erect a steeple" so to speak, at inappropriate times. So I thought that I would be doing good by crushing my oxnards, and now I find out that I may be committing spermocide! I thought the Sin of Onan was bad, but it may be worse to abort the poor little buggers in advance!

So please assist me, in Jesus name I pray! What manner of smallclothes do you recommend?

Yours in Christ,
Byar

That's a tough one Sir I will keep you in my prayers. As far as undergarments go going "Commando" might be a smart choice, and if you are getting erections at inappropriate times then try baggy jeans, but not too baggy like the nigras wear.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

If you watch MTV you can actually see men wearing these things. Now I understand not wanting to look like a gangbanger, but there's no reason for a man to wear pants that restrict the flow of blood away from his waist—unless he's trying to prolong his erection and heighten the sensation in his genitals, just as he would with a so-called c*ck ring. You should treat any man in tight jeans as a potential rapist.

[ZackPurity]

Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton

If you watch MTV you can actually see men wearing these things. Now I understand not wanting to look like a gangbanger, but there's no reason for a man to wear pants that restrict the flow of blood away from his waist—unless he's trying to prolong his erection and heighten the sensation in his genitals, just as he would with a so-called c*ck ring. You should treat any man in tight jeans as a potential rapist.

The good news- tight jeans will make a kick to his groin hurt more, so if he gets close, just boot him in the jewels and run to the nearest place of God!