The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED! |
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-04-2006, 08:01 PM
How dare that old homer
paste up such a horror!
He cannot be talking 'bout ME!
He must have been tippling
a jug of cheap risling
with the yellow fish crackers
they eat.
I hope, when he reaches
for those nasty wafers
(he picks them up
out in the yard)
The Cardinal walks in
and during the bend
Mo is hoist up
on his own petard.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-04-2006, 08:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
How dare that old homer
paste up such a horror!
He cannot be talking 'bout ME!
He must have been tippling
a jug of cheap risling
with the yellow fish crackers
they eat.
I hope, when he reaches
for those nasty wafers
(he picks them up
out in the yard)
The Cardinal walks in
and during the bend
Mo is hoist up
on his own petard.
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Onward Christian Soldier!
Pastor Al at Open Mick Poetry Night
where we "operate" on Irish Cathalitics
and Whopper papal bullers too.
GREAT POEM
Pastor Al, you've demonstrated once again why you are our leader.
Jesus smiles and lights a Lucky,
relaxed for your stabilizing presence here.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-04-2006, 10:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter
Pater 'Mo sure is calling Pastor Al a pusher.
In re-editing his (sic) poem that message of Mo's becomes clearer and clearer.
Edit no.3
Ode to a Huckster
by Father Maurice Lester,
disingenuous DVM
El Jefe' has purchased the farm,
or so it is said by an early E Pistle,
that despite Fidel's overblown Latinate charm,
he has has tooted his last wax lip whistle.
In Miami they'll rhumba
a beat in the street
when the news and the air
and their tympanums meet.
Now I think
it's all just another lie
run up a greased pole by that dictator guy
from his getaway Freehold retreat.
Yes,
Al is the dope in duplicious
to his flock of shorn lambs, unsuspicious.
They bleat for his crap
between their sheep naps.
Al loads their pipe dreams with crack wishes.
Mo I am dismayed.
Peter
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Utterly shocking and intolerable. Even by Papist standards, this is low. Father Mo, I challenge you to explain what demon possessed you to write the above "poem."
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-05-2006, 03:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Utterly shocking and intolerable. Even by Papist standards, this is low. Father Mo, I challenge you to explain what demon possessed you to write the above "poem."
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My child,
Lo' these many years here I have come to understand that you are a few Ounces shy of a pint. The dribble you refer to is the aimless meandering of a fellow rutabaga. (Please note the excellent date/FZ reference)
I never suggested The Rev. Al pushed dope...I said he pushed dopes...as in gullible tools of Satan like...say...you!
As for my inspiration...I get it from His Holiness The Pope!
Mostly cadence.
He did nicely on his trip to Turkey by the way.
Bless you, my maker of fries
Father Mo
A Cardinal in the making.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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how to make a "found poem" -
12-05-2006, 04:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
My child,
Lo' these many years here I have come to understand that you are a few Ounces shy of a pint. The dribble you refer to is the aimless meandering of a fellow rutabaga. (Please note the excellent date/FZ reference)
I never suggested The Rev. Al pushed dope...I said he pushed dopes...as in gullible tools of Satan like...say...you!
As for my inspiration...I get it from His Holiness The Pope!
Mostly cadence.
He did nicely on his trip to Turkey by the way.
Bless you, my maker of fries
Father Mo
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What he really said:
My child,
Lo' these many years
here I understand
you are aimless, fellow
rutabaga. I
suggested
Rev. Al pushed dope.
I said he pushed dope
gullible tools of Satan inspiration.
I get His Holiness
The Pope!
He did Turkey by the way.
My maker fries.
_________________
Homily on the essential truth of found poetry:
Father Mo puts truth to code-
enigma variations. We strip
the fat, and this is that:
the pope's nose*
ends a chicken.
*dinner table term for a plucked chicken's butt
Last edited by Poetic Peter; 12-05-2006 at 04:59 AM.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-05-2006, 05:16 AM
In catlick 'missions', if and when they serve food, it is invariably contaminated rice and a most sickening foul cut of fowl called "turkey tails" which is exactly what it sounds like. A roundish chunk of 'turkey meat' with a hole in the center. I doubt anyone will even believe me, but look it up. There is no limit to their perfidy.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Popery Posters no.1 -
12-05-2006, 05:30 AM
.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-05-2006, 10:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
In catlick 'missions', if and when they serve food, it is invariably contaminated rice and a most sickening foul cut of fowl called "turkey tails" which is exactly what it sounds like. A roundish chunk of 'turkey meat' with a hole in the center. I doubt anyone will even believe me, but look it up. There is no limit to their perfidy.
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Between the dusk and the daylight
--the shadowy time for night boarders,
Peter assays what our Pastor says
and finds it cooks well in its order:
QUOTE:
Re: The Pope's Nose
Posted by Sauerkraut on October 26, 2000
In Reply to: Re: The Pope's Nose posted by bob on October 17, 2000
One meaning I have heard attached to the term is the fleshy tail of a fowl,
particularly a turkey. It was used as a derogatory term by Protestants.
Interestingly, though, Italians, who are mostly Catholic,
value the fatty appendage in soup making.
http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_b...sages/483.html
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-05-2006, 05:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
As for my inspiration...I get it from His Holiness The Pope!
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Inspiration? I've never heard it called that before. Perhaps if His Holiness the Antichrist Pimp Benny Dickt Rat Stinker would relax his line on contraception a little you might not be plagued by quite so much "inspiration"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al
A roundish chunk of 'turkey meat' with a hole in the center. I doubt anyone will even believe me, but look it up. There is no limit to their perfidy.
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My word. I thought it was only the Jews who liked to have their meat twice.
EDIT: Ah-hah! Through detailed research, I have discovered a picture of the Pope! It's all true!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Posts: 1,694
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Allegory in Colours -
12-07-2006, 04:49 AM
.
Long ago in Liverpool
lived an occidental little man
who ran his life by an odd plan
of vivid colour—oh, just one:
a yellow rule he used for truthing
beneath his sooted yellow roofing.
He married taint and tucked inside
a dainty footbound Chinese bride,
and kept one dog and later two
(Labradors run yellow too).
By nights for days he watched and summed
the rising and the setting suns;
accounting, that if each were gold,
he'd grasp either for that—or soul.
The little man aged-on and riched
on yellow gold to quell an itch;
propounding from his life's lapels,
where thumbs on those flaps
hooked his yell
"Lo! It is sage to age
all seasons saffron."
His height increased
but only sideways
on suet with admixed annatto
until his yellow Nile ran blue
(that is to say, his liver's liquor
pooled and sank him ever-sicker).
"When bile quits one must quit life",
he scratched to then-near-parchment wife.
"Yellow isn't and it was never
the brave man's hue for last retreats.
By God I won't
go, ever, not
until my humours turn...
green cheese
...or the moon returns in... Oh!
Suddenly I see. At last
the only colour, true, is blue",
coughed as he turned that shade
and passed.
.
Last edited by Poetic Peter; 12-07-2006 at 05:07 AM.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Posts: 1,694
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Near to Him
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-07-2006, 08:49 AM
Allegory in Colours
Long ago in Liverpool
lived an occidental little man
who ran his life by an odd plan
of vivid colour—oh, just one:
a yellow rule he used for truthing
beneath his sooted yellow roofing.
He married taint and tucked inside
a dainty footbound Chinese bride,
and kept one dog and later two
(Labradors run yellow too).
By nights for days he watched and summed
the rising and the setting suns;
accounting, that if each were gold,
he'd grasp for either that—or soul.
The little man aged-on and riched
on yellow gold to quell an itch;
propounding from his life's lapels,
where thumbs on those flaps
hooked his yell
"Lo! It is sage to age
all seasons saffron."
His height increased
but only sideways
on suet with admixed annatto
until his yellow Nile ran blue
(that is to say, his liver's liquor
pooled and sank him ever-sicker).
"When bile quits one must quit life",
he scratched to then-near-parchment wife.
"Yellow isn't and it was never
the brave man's hue for last retreats.
By God I won't
go, ever, not
until my humours turn—
green cheese
—or the moon returns in... oh
suddenly I see. At last
the only colour, true, is
blue",
coughed as he turned that shade
and ...passed.
____________________
I'll read it aloud, ok?
http://img147.imageshack.us/my.php?i...ound198wg1.swf
Last edited by Poetic Peter; 12-07-2006 at 09:08 AM.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-07-2006, 09:55 AM
"he'd grasp either for that—or soul."
"He'd grasp for either that--or soul.'
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Christian Poet Emeritus
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,694
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Near to Him
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-07-2006, 02:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
"he'd grasp either for that—or soul."
"He'd grasp for either that--or soul.'
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Good suggestion
Please insert the edit?
Thanks!
You are the best!
(appropriate smiley here)
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Redemption for All -
12-13-2006, 11:24 PM
______________
The author reading went a bit awry...
http://img129.imageshack.us/my.php?i...forall11mo.swf
Redemption for All
November past marks twenty years
I've fed and fostered Rabbi Feldman.
That's his name—although a skink,
perhaps you'll smile if you'll just hold him;
our Shingleback named Rabbi Feldman.
His livid tongue squeteagues to taste
the mango juice or cat food there,
aromatizing his bathroom's air;
where he b'logs; it's his 'myspace'.
The Rabbi: redeemed from a tin tub
manifested with two score of
his rabbinicles, Deliveranced from Egypt...
( well, from OZ )
through the side-business of
a cocaine criminal God
soon dis-leavened
to re-level:
" Mario Tabraue to Earth
— not hell..." ...........Oh
Mario
had released
the Rabbi to my kinder bond;
then went to prison for a mild term,
sans the wife he'd (allegedly) 'put to pond'.
~
A benediction now for our Rabbi,
so beardless, fetlockless and forfexless;
sleeping now in his myspace castle keep of mine.
As for Tabraue: so blacklysteeped
and blacklybearded: sheared and humbled,
now released...
as if a new day may redeem
a wonder whether
God wields the keenest forfex* to (*scissors, sheep shears)
denude the proud,
to hold the meek
—Rabbi Feldman, he of God's sheep,
in a spare bathroom
wherefrom he dreams
in mango juice, and
cat food sleeps.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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recitation and links -
12-13-2006, 11:48 PM
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De-Evolution Equally Absurd! -
12-26-2006, 03:52 PM
In consideration of disturbing reports
of porpoise/bonobo/Dameon genetic crossings
As if we could
descend the ladder far
enough to pet with any adder
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