Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-27-2010, 06:48 AM
This thread started out with some fool suggesting that our beloved Pastor Ezekiel is obsessed over certain matters. In truth, the Bible has much to say on such matters, and has been saying it far longer than Pastor Ezekiel has.
Putting that issue aside, this thread then veered into the highly personal matter of the good Pastor's wedding plans vis a vis our Sister Bible Thumping Blonde. The exact nature of their eventual nuptials is between them and Jesus. So everyonr else can gluteous maximus out.
Oh, and just so you know, straight people can and do wait for each other all the time. One couple I know waited 16 and a half years before they finally got around to you-know-what.
Regarding the final bizarre twist of this thread-- the good folk at LBC are polite enough to allow all sorts of nonsense about pastafarianism to be bandied about here on our forum. But for the love of Jesus, when a thread is entitled "Homosexuality" could you not leave out discussions of the Olive Garden and just stick to sodomy? Is it really so much to ask?
Exasperatedly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-27-2010, 07:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Charli
I can't imagine what is worse ... having to use the menstra shed after another woman had used it or (if their cycles lined up) having to share it with another woman at the same time!
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Oh, Sister Charlie!
Just when I thought the thread's topic couldn't get even more vile...
I will pray that the putrid, claustrophobic images seared into my brain are removed tonight, by His™ grace.
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-27-2010, 02:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
My fiancée tells me that it's actually been over 7 years since I informed her that she was going to be my wife. My how time flies.
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You INFORMED her? You didn't ASK her if she wanted to marry you?
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Look, I'm a busy Pastor and there are many demands on my time. Sister BTB understands that. Also, who cares about "average engagement times" anyway? Just because the unsaved degenerates plunge into marriage headlong, without stopping to consider what Jesus wants, it doesn't follow that I have to. At any rate, it's none of you're damned business, witch.
We'll get married when the time is right.
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The longer the two of you wait to get married, the fewer little soldiers for Jesus you're going to be able to produce (not that I'm anxious to see the two of you reproduce). I think the problem is that the thought of making love to anyone without dangly bits squicks you out beyond belief.
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Unsaved trash, Suspected witch
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Posts: 129
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Out in Left Field
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-27-2010, 03:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Why don't you two whoremongers get a room? This is a Christian forum, not some sleazy pickup joint. You are NOT welcome here.
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Boy oh boy is your mind in the gutter!!!!! Jo Freddy and I were talking about having dinner!! We were even debating (with other members of this forum) which place to eat at! You think the Olive Garden is sleazy? All right it is not a 5 star restaurant but hey...for meeting for lunch the first time it is a safe place!
Plus this from a man who berated me for not being married!!! WOW! I find a man that likes Spaghetti too! Granted I think he takes this spaghetti thing too far but hey he is the only one on this forum that will talk to me with out throwing insults!
Boy Jo Freddy you must have hit him pretty close to the mark for him to be this upset!! I believe you are correct on your theory of him. BTB may as well give it up or she will be married to another version of Ted Haggart.
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-28-2010, 10:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morgana
Boy oh boy is your mind in the gutter!!!!! Jo Freddy and I were talking about having dinner!! We were even debating (with other members of this forum) which place to eat at! You think the Olive Garden is sleazy? All right it is not a 5 star restaurant but hey...for meeting for lunch the first time it is a safe place!
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It is not that it is not a 5 Star restaurant, it is an abomination unto the Lord and I will not set foot inside
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Plus this from a man who berated me for not being married!!! WOW! I find a man that likes Spaghetti too! Granted I think he takes this spaghetti thing too far but hey he is the only one on this forum that will talk to me with out throwing insults!
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I am a married person Morgana, My partner and I were married in a civil ceremony in Australia, I am happy to do lunch some time and discuss that nature of Our Lord, blessed be His Noodly Appendages, but if you had something else on the agenda
Quote:
Boy Jo Freddy you must have hit him pretty close to the mark for him to be this upset!! I believe you are correct on your theory of him. BTB may as well give it up or she will be married to another version of Ted Haggart.
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I will make my position clear on sexuality, it is a personally thing, and not for others to say if it is right of wrong, just that Zekie Boy needs to be perfectly honest with BTB and not just keep putting her off, some may even come to think that he is using her as a beard.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,590
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Koala Kountry
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-28-2010, 01:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
I am a married person Morgana, My partner and I were married in a civil ceremony in Australia, I am happy to do lunch some time
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Are you gonna tell the Mrs Pasta Freddie?
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-28-2010, 02:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Charli
Are you gonna tell the Mrs Pasta Freddie?
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Why would I not tell my partner?
I do not hide anything I do from them.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 40
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: cooking up trouble
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-28-2010, 03:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
I will make my position clear on sexuality, it is a personally thing, and not for others to say if it is right of wrong.
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My thoughts exactly.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-28-2010, 03:26 PM
Oh that's just what we need, Punnchy and the Pasta Pirate ganging up to persecute True Christians and take away our First Amendment Rights to control the bedrooms of homosexuals.
What next? It's none of our business what your children are doing in the bathroom?
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-28-2010, 03:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Punnchy
My thoughts exactly.
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This is not a gay pick up site. Please refrain from hitting on our resident noodle worshipper.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
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Posts: 5,070
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Walking on the Lord's path
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-28-2010, 04:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Punnchy
My thoughts exactly.
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If it is a private thing then why do you homers hang around public toilets.
Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,590
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Location: Koala Kountry
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-28-2010, 11:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Charli
Are you gonna tell the Mrs Pasta Freddie?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Why would I not tell my partner?
I do not hide anything I do from them.
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Them?
Plural?
How many Mrs Pasta Freddies are there?
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-29-2010, 12:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Charli
Them?
Plural?
How many Mrs Pasta Freddies are there?
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Oh I just have the one partner Chaz and am not looking for any new ones.
Usage of the word them...
For example If anyone touches that, I will hit them.
You see in the above example I am not saying I would hit multiple people just the one concerned. So in the context of my partner when I talk about them I am also not referring to multiple partners.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Homosexuals -
07-29-2010, 12:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Charli
Them?
Plural?
How many Mrs Pasta Freddies are there?
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I'm almost certain it is a man, or an animal of some kind. Pastahead is obsessed with noodly appendages.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Unsaved trash, Suspected witch
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Posts: 129
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Out in Left Field
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Re: Homosexuals -
08-04-2010, 05:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
It is not that it is not a 5 Star restaurant, it is an abomination unto the Lord and I will not set foot inside
I am a married person Morgana, My partner and I were married in a civil ceremony in Australia, I am happy to do lunch some time and discuss that nature of Our Lord, blessed be His Noodly Appendages, but if you had something else on the agenda
I will make my position clear on sexuality, it is a personally thing, and not for others to say if it is right of wrong, just that Zekie Boy needs to be perfectly honest with BTB and not just keep putting her off, some may even come to think that he is using her as a beard.
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Well Jo I had no idea you were married! I did not mean to be rude! Your wife/partner/betterhalf what ever you young people call it these days is most certainly invited to come too! Now if you are not "down" with the Olive Garden, then there is always this very nice Chinese place that I know of. (yes I know you are in Australia, will you humor me please?) Now Chinese places don't serve Spaghetti but their lo mein noodles are to die for! I know this really great place right near me you and you spouse just might like. Just don't go to the Chinese place up at the mall....they make egg foo young......it is not "egg"..it is not "young"....it is just "foo"!
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 3
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ohio
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Re: Homosexuals -
01-04-2011, 07:47 AM
So all this talk about homosexuality has brought my thoughts to an age old discussion. I have family members who are very into to the plays of William Shakespeare and find that not only were his works filled with sinful acts but many believe the man to be guilty of homosexuality. I am unsure of how to advise my lost family members when I find even myself conflicted.
What should I do?????
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Homosexuals -
01-04-2011, 07:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FaithfulChild
So all this talk about homosexuality has brought my thoughts to an age old discussion. I have family members who are very into to the plays of William Shakespeare and find that not only were his works filled with sinful acts but many believe the man to be guilty of homosexuality. I am unsure of how to advise my lost family members when I find even myself conflicted.
What should I do?????
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Why would you want to read that sort of filth in the first place?
There are many more edifying things to read from that era like the KJV 1611.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Homosexuals -
01-04-2011, 09:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Oh, Sister Charlie!
Just when I thought the thread's topic couldn't get even more vile...
I will pray that the putrid, claustrophobic images seared into my brain are removed tonight, by His™ grace.
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Thanks for getting the thread back on track - here is a local solution:
NOT A VERY GOOD PICTURE, SORRY!
They are well away from the homestead, and a thoughtful distance apart.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 3
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ohio
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Re: Homosexuals -
01-04-2011, 05:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones
Why would you want to read that sort of filth in the first place?
There are many more edifying things to read from that era like the KJV 1611.
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But that does not help me on the matter of convincing my family members from reading said 'trash'
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,264
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Homosexuals -
01-04-2011, 09:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FaithfulChild
But that does not help me on the matter of convincing my family members from reading said 'trash'
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The only people I've met who claim Shakespeare was homosexual, are other homosexuals. And they're to the point of claiming that Jesus was Gay
It's all part of the homosexual agenda. They plan to declare anyone in history of any importance as gay, that way they can claim that if you want to be important, you have to be gay yourself.
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