[Holy Charlie]

It's good to read a testimony given by a virtuous believer who was once - as undoubtedly some trolls, flamers, and debate-seekers reading this are now - mired in sin, but has since overcome and accepted the light of Christ. I will give that testimony today. (I say “testimony”, but “grand epic” is what it really is.) I'm a little nervous, but “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13. Favorite verse, by the way.)

It was a dark and stormy night and I was but a simple farm boy living in the countryside. The landscape was dull and dreary; the sky overhead was as always overcast because Britain is a secular country that abandoned God long ago. It was just as well; my family was all the sunshine I needed. My family was like a sweet oasis of Godliness sitting in an ungodly desert. Myself, my siblings, and my mother – all of us were submissive, happy sheep guided by the strong shepherd that was my father. I can still picture him now. A towering, dominating, masculine figure. Glorious, flowing hair like a lion’s mane.

I’ll never forget the sage advice my father used to give me as we walked side by side in the cattle pasture: “Son, a good wife is like a dairy cow. She doesn’t know any better. She may stray. She is in need of a man’s firm but loving care and leadership. But in the end she is good, loyal, and reliable.” Cows and woman are very similar in that they both produce milk so I guess he was pretty wise when you think about it.

For a time I was good holy Christian living in a positive godly atmosphere and flourishing under the protective umbrella of my father. But shortly after we moved to America in my early teens corrupting influences began to seep in. There were bad companions, worldly music, television.

Television! How sad it must make God to see the filth, decay, and degeneracy that bubbles from our screens. (This problem is now exacerbated since computers have been purchased in greater numbers and the internets have spread. “Youtube?” More like “Sintube!”) Despite living in a sheltered household, I accessed the American show “Family Guy” from a bad friend. Clearly that was when the trouble started. The moment I saw Louis Griffin, I experienced a confused sexual awakening, a stirring in my loins. It wasn’t long before that devil woman turned me from the Lord and from sexual purity. I had a picture of her on my wall that I would kiss. “O Charlie, kiss me, kiss me!” I would make her say. Of course she wasn’t really saying it I was saying it with a falsetto voice and fake Boston accent.

Television was a gateway to worse evil. After a few years, it wasn’t uncommon for me to find myself having unholy relations in a motel room with a strange woman. A strange woman I would force to say “Oh Peetah! Oh Peetah!” at the peak of sexual pleasure. Then I would poop on the sheets.

Obviously, I eventually turned around. The man who turned me around was “Uncle Reginald.” Uncle Reginald wasn’t my real uncle, but a man I had known back in Britain while I was still a small child. The fun Uncle Reg and I used to have! Ice cream, trips to the park, strolls on the beach. Wrestling, the “where-are-you-most-ticklish” game. Anyway, about two years ago Uncle Reg in a letter told me about Lonnie Childs and his Stop Masturbation Now campaign. Reg was (and is) someone I admire and respect, so what could I do but give this organization about which he seemed so enthusiastic at least a little look? I gave it a look, and haven’t stopped dedicating myself to it since. Now I’m even studying to become a pastor. Thank you Lonnie!

I hope you all welcome and accept me.

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Well, Charlie,
The love of Jesus is flowing through me and I welcome you with that same love and a friendly handshake. We both require some time for the Department of Faith here to vet us and until that time we will remain unsaved trash. I assure you that I am a child of God now and He does not make trash - He burns it. Now that Christ is my Savior, the last thing I will do is do something to cause Him to send me to the Lake of Fire.


My feet are on the narrow pathway that leads to my beloved home in the sky where I will live in eternity with the saints and angels while I dance at Jesus' feet.


I will pray for you as I hope you will for me. I am an HONEST lawyer now, praise God, so please feel free to let me know if you need any advice in that regard. I'm about to announce something really exciting about my office in Cumming, Iowa which has only been open a short time. Stay tuned, as they say.


Glory to God!
Mike

[MitzaLizalor]

Hello, and a tentative welcome to the forum. I am a little concerned how close to Scripture your examples in life have been. God is very clear about hairstyles, for instance.

I CORINTHIANS 11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
context .. kjv

Now I can just imagine that image you were kissing had some sort of trollopy hairdo. The Bible explains to us about broided hair:

I TIMOTHY 2:5-9 There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time. Whereunto I am ordained a preacher, and an apostle, (I speak the truth in Christ, and lie not); a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity. I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array
context .. kjv

I also doubt that if you'd pinned the image to your wall she was looking very ashamed. The secularist will announce: "Oh yeah fellah.." (this would be an American secularist but you imagined her Boston accent so I'm assuming this was the stronger influence) "..nature teaches us no such thing! Take a look at this," he swings around, blond dreadlocks flailing the Iridium & Lapis Lazuli beads almost knocking your eye out not to mention dwarven beard rings "..I am of The Earth, can't get more natural than that, bozo!!" by which he probably means he's a Capricorn. Whatever. But he is lying.

We know he is lying because Paul was telling the truth.

I have never lived anywhere with a television so can't really comment on that but from what I see in the behaviours displayed among box-gogglers its influence must be quite dreadful. Worldly music will also bring you low and I would recommend listening only to Christian music which does not include so-called "Christian Metal" or "Christian Rock" or for all I know "Christian Grindcore" which are satanic. We all need to be reminded how much Jesus loves us and what He sacrificed for us. I can recommend The Rambos.

I CORINTHIANS 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
context .. kjv

[Brother Harold Porter]

Welcome young man. It is refreshing to read your honest testimony of the peril in succumbing to the dangerous sin we are all prone to perform without having Him in us first.

God gave us the genitalia and the biological urge to couple. The natural proclivity to engage in intercoursing to keep the blood line growing. But without adherence to His Word, reprobate and degenerate filth is what results.


In Christ

[Basilissa]

A most friendly to our Godly forum, Mr. Charlie!

You seem like a very nice fellow. Are you married?

[Holy Charlie]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

Worldly music will also bring you low and I would recommend listening only to Christian music which does not include so-called "Christian Metal" or "Christian Rock" or for all I know "Christian Grindcore" which are satanic. We all need to be reminded how much Jesus loves us and what He sacrificed for us. I can recommend The Rambos.

I listen to nothing but "Upsweep 1x." As it is an audio recording of natural sounds, there is no danger of the presence - subliminal or otherwise - of unrighteous messaging, disordered melodies, or disordered beats. I imagine I am hearing from afar the sounds of Hell and the sinners suffering there and am put right to sleep.

[Holy Charlie]

Originally Posted by Basilissa

Are you married?

No, but I hope to be someday. To a fair Irish maiden whom I shall turn from papist heresy. A right lucky leprechaun, she will have the whitest skin and sing me the saddest songs. When we rise, she'll greet me with "Good morning my shepherd!" and I'll reply "Good morning my little sheep!"

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Holy Charlie

No, but I hope to be someday. To a fair Irish maiden whom I shall turn from papist heresy. A right lucky leprechaun, she will have the whitest skin and sing me the saddest songs. When we rise, she'll greet me with "Good morning my shepherd!" and I'll reply "Good morning my little sheep!"

I'd be careful if I were you, dear. I've never met an Irish woman who wasn't trouble. From the time they can whelp out little Irish babes, they tend to whore themselves out for just a few drinks of whisky. If yours is different, wed her quickly. If she's not ready and willing to bear you many great Soldiers for Christ, my advice would be to drop her like a hot potato and find a decent young Christian woman in America. They're easy to find at homeschool conventions. Just look for the families with 14 children, and you'll see the younger girls are just starving for the opportunity to prove themselves worthy of attention. They already know how to be mothers, as this is their function with so many littles running around, and they'll never get the attention the older girls have. You might consider our Marriage Guide helpful. Anyway, welcome to our humble little community!

[I Man Rastafari]

Originally Posted by Holy Charlie

No, but I hope to be someday. To a fair Irish maiden whom I shall turn from papist heresy. A right lucky leprechaun, she will have the whitest skin and sing me the saddest songs. When we rise, she'll greet me with "Good morning my shepherd!" and I'll reply "Good morning my little sheep!"

You should know that the true Irishmen are Black men. The English sent others to Ireland to kill off the Black people and make Ireland safe for Englishmen. Now that the true owners of Ireland have been murdered by the white men the white men are fighting over the island. The reason that the English have lions on their flags is because there were once lions in Ireland but they were made extinct by the same white men who made the Black man extinct. In past days the Black man fought the lions with spears while the Black women provided food and lodging for the Black man. Now all of that is past and the Black man has had to come to Babylon to slave for the white man.

Once the Black men were the Kings of the Earth.

[Thomas Taylor]

Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari

You should know that the true Irishmen are Black men. The English sent others to Ireland to kill off the Black people and make Ireland safe for Englishmen. Now that the true owners of Ireland have been murdered by the white men the white men are fighting over the island. The reason that the English have lions on their flags is because there were once lions in Ireland but they were made extinct by the same white men who made the Black man extinct. In past days the Black man fought the lions with spears while the Black women provided food and lodging for the Black man. Now all of that is past and the Black man has had to come to Babylon to slave for the white man.

Once the Black men were the Kings of the Earth.

Dear Trevor,
Despite the fact that you are a useless person of colour with absolutely no idea of Irish history I will take the time out of my busy schedule to enlighten you on a few points:
1. Prior to the arrival of the English Lions in Ireland the natives were bog trotting thieves with no social culture of any kind.
2. All of the natives had gruesome ginger hair and so the English slaughtered them in the thousands. Chief among these young lions was Oliver Cromwell who cared not a jot for the filthy Irish. Killing men, women and children without mercy he subdued the natives
3. A few years later somebody decided to abolish slavery in America which meant that the good people of Landover had no-one to cook, clean and garden. Thus the English under the guidance of the wily Scots clan of Trump sent the natives to America to work as cheap labour.


Hence the Irish became known as the Blacks of Europe. Not because they were black but because they were useless, lazy, thieving scum.


This is what an Irish Native looks like:

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari

Now all of that is past and the Black man has had to come to Babylon to slave for the white man.

Once the Black men were the Kings of the Earth.

[I Man Rastafari]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

The white man likes to sell his old airplanes to African countries in order to get rid of them before they break down and crash. They bribe the leaders of their corrupt colonial governments to buy these airplanes even though they know the airplanes will crash soon from old age. That is because they are racist against Black men and they want to continue to hold them in slavery. Also this keeps many Black people from trying to fly to Babylon.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari

Also this keeps many Black people from trying to fly to Babylon.

I thought you were trying to leave.?

[Thomas Taylor]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

I thought you were trying to leave.?

Sister, I too wish they would leave. This would give me a chance to introduce substitute menial labour.